How old is too old to have a baby?

[Shaz83]

Just wondering how old is too old to have a baby? Fair enough being healthy etc is fine.. but how old is too old?

I was 35 and 38, i know for a fact that i would have struggled massively in my 20s, i was quite childish then. It probably sounds a bit cheesy but the life lessons I learnt during my 20s/ early 30s, particularly around relationships and communication have definitely made me a much better parent now.

Anything over very early 40’s.
pregnant at 41 / 42 I wouldn’t think anything.
But pregnant at 44 I’d probably silently think that’s a bit old - funny how just a couple of years makes such a difference. But that’s probably because it’s rare for a woman to be pregnant at 44 ( statistically quite hard )

I should add though that I didn’t have a good upbringing so I had a lot to learn!!

My dad had cancer in his early 50s when I was at uni (thankfully he is still about in his mid 70s, though and older 75 because of the cancer). So you really do not know how long or not long you have.

On this thread there is plenty of 40 somethings detailing that looking after a toddler/young child is not a problem at all.
And very few 60 somethings saying they are enjoying looking after their 18 yr old.

Why would your kids have less time with you??

@Shaz83 Basic life expectancy eg If life expectancy for a woman is 80. if she has a baby at 20 she’s got 60 years time as their mum, 45 and she’s only their mum for 35 years.

so true why is it in “insane”??

I had six children by age 28 and became a grandmother at 37 so I personally think 35 would be the cut off.

Wow that’s so true!! Hit the nail on the head!

Yes, @Investinmyself explained it well. That's what I meant. If I'd had my children ten years earlier I would have had ten years longer with them - and also more time with them as a younger woman. I feel sad that for a big chunk of their lives I'll be an old lady, then they'll likely lose me when they around 40 or younger. I'm getting a lot more time with my mum than they will get with me - because my mum had me in her early 20s. I appreciate that. I still need my mum despite being nearly 50!
Yes, I know some people live until their 90s but I don't think I will as I've had a history of health problems so far. I also don't think we'd have quality time together if I did reach my 90s. It would probably be stressful for them!

Yes there are exceptions but generally a younger mum will have longer with her dc.
I do think older years is overlooked. My dc’s friend has retired parents. They have massive arguments as they are not on her wavelength. They are also facing having to fund her at uni while retired (the SFE thresholds are so low that 2 pensions mean she isn’t eligible for full loan and her rent is just under £10,000 a year at a norther uni)

I see what the poster is saying. If you have a baby at 45 you would be way more tired if you have done 10 years of parenting already, if it’s your first baby you would be more likely to be well rested I guess.

I don't want any after 35. Am 32 and pregnant with first child which would be my only. If I didn't have children, I wouldn't have an age limit

I personally think if that’s how your mindset is then you should not have children at 40+ because if you are going to feel like that it’s not always like that my gran had my mom at 42 and she lived till 97 my mom has had enjoyed her life with her mom she don’t feel she has missed out… at all…

I'd one at 24 and one at 31

I'm fit and healthy but no thank you, no more

I wouldn't have another one past 35

For me, 35 was my limit. I found pregnancy very hard and the early years exhausting. I cant imagine going through that in my 40s, plus the risks get higher and higher.

I'm also really enjoying having teens in my 40s and being able to get my life back.

From mid 40s. I had my first in my mid 30s and my second in late 30s.This enabled me to pursue my career and I was in a more senior and financially stable position when children came along.

Mine was ivf but own eggs from a frozen cycle when I was 42

But my friend got preg naturally at 43

Yes obv rarer but happens as op can testament

Agree with this. Much more likely you and/or the child are damaged in some way, or suffer complications or ongoing conditions. Plus you’re dealing with teens in your 60’s, while probably still working and maybe supporting elderly relatives. Fuck that.

I had mine at 25 and 29
To be honest, I would have had them younger! And if financially able, maybe another.
I'm 32 with a three year old and definitely notice the difference with my fitness levels this time around. I always want to use the pram because picking up my toddler is a struggle sometimes now
I'm not overweight or anything I'm 5'2 and around 9st just more tired with school run in the mix etc.

My cut off would be 34.

So why have them at 38 if that’s how you feel? 38 is young! As I have already mentioned to the other poster my mom had her mom till 97 and really enjoyed her life with her mum my mum don’t feel she had less time… you could have a baby at 20 and still anything can happen you could get cancer etc and die… no 1 can say how long u will live for only god knows.. I know someone who had a baby at 29 and her daughter is 9 same age as mine I had my first at 33 I’m fit and healthy so far… thank god! But my friend she has stage 4 alk lung cancer and now on chemotherapy. So yea I think now especially reading everyone posts that age is just definitely a number! And I’m gonna be here for my last for a long time! God Willing! ❤️🥰

And my gran had my mom at 42!

If you can get pregnant naturally you are not too old to have a baby. Average life expectancy is in the 80s in this country and late motherhood is correlated with long life. Even women who have children at the end of their fertile years can expect to live beyond their children becoming independent adults. And older parents are more stable parents.

Not quite as simplistic as that - this study showed that maternal life expectancy increased by 5% for every year of maternal age and indicated that women who have children later live longer.

pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4270889/#:~:text=For%20each%20additional%20year%20in,last%20child%20before%20age%2029.

As an older mum, one thing I do feel very keenly is that I must take responsibility for my health and wellbeing so that I can stay healthy and well for as long as possible and minimize my risk of developing long term chronic or acute health conditions. So maintaining a healthy weight, exercising, not eating ultra processed food, taking time for self care and limiting stress.