Facebook DLA group feels uncomfortable

[Furrzu]

My son has additional needs and I am in the process of applying for DLA. I have very little money and would be grateful for anything extra. I'd use it to make a sensory space at home for him, some clubs and for anything else that would help him. We've had a sensory profile done and there's a long list!

I joined a DLA Facebook group that has close to 150k people in it. Honestly, it's very uncomfortable. People posting about whether it's OK for them to use their backdated pay for a family trip to Disney. People going to tribunal to get high rate mobility because their child has flat feet and has to wear insoles but they're worried their child won't get it because they play football, so advised by others to omit this fact. Whether they can save the DLA and ask for UC to not class this as savings as they're saving it for their child for uni.

It's actually made me quite angry but not sure if I am BU. I only wanted advice on filling in the form as it is long and daunting!

So, AIBU? Is this a widespread issue?

I know, I should probably mind my business...

Yes they can say the child appears tired but that doesn't really prove anything and it could also be prompted by the parents saying they haven't slept. They're are lots of reasons why a child may appear tired and they're are lots of ways a child who is tired might express this. It is all very subjective.

Anyone who knows how to google can know how the points system works. You also need evidence.

And sometimes people who can make the journey as long as nothing goes wrong can still be assessed as meeting the criteria. And sometimes people can qualify because of the risk of harm which doesn’t always have to be present for more than 50% of the time.

Facebook group that has close to 150k people in it
That's enough to tell me it's likely to be a poor quality group on any topic.

If you want high quality help and support you need to avoid big groups, avoid public groups, avoid poorly moderated groups.

@BrightYellowTrain And sometimes people who can make the journey as long as nothing goes wrong can still be assessed as meeting the criteria. And sometimes people can qualify because of the risk of harm which doesn’t always have to be present for more than 50% of the time.

That is exactly why the system needs overhauling. Being able to claim higher rate PIP because of the above is nuts.

Thankfully, even the courts are more enlightened than you. Since the risk of harm element was tested in the UT.

But if you are going to buy these things anyway does it really matter what 'pot' (or account) they come out of?

i.e. if you are spending £1000 on a wheelchair and £1000 on your child's trip to Disney, does it matter if the 'wheelchair' money comes out of your DLA, and the Disney ticket is paid by your salary? Particularly in OP's example the Disney family were talking about backpay, so perhaps they already bought the necessary disability aids out of their 'own' money before they were awarded DLA so are now reallocating the funds, and the Disney holiday is one they could have afforded out of their salary if DLA had been given straightaway.

The fact the flat foot case has gone to tribunal (i.e. has already been rejected at least once before) suggests it's not as easy to claim for things as OP is suggesting.

I think people posting on those groups are a bit naive - they are open for anyone to ask to join - if I were a DLA assessor or fraud investigator the first thing I'd do is join and make a note of the names of anyone who said anything a bit dodgy.

Exactly I went to tribunal to get high rate care and Hiigh rate mobility for my son ,he was already on medium rate care and low rate mobility, but his needs are very complex so i did a change of circumstances, after he wss awarded it there was a fair bit of back pay which I spent on new beds for everyone and stuff we needed,

I agree, I don't have separate pots as a lot of the expenses can be difficult to quantify but instead mentally assign things to the dla so that I am confident that I am using money for her needs.

Also the Facebook posting is normally done anonymously.

We used ours for private gym membership for the whole family.

You could argue that we'd go swimming anyway but because the private facilities are cleaner, warmer, more spacious and pleasant, it made it both more pleasant and tempting but also less of a risk for infections. It also meant that the whole family could play a part in physio amd exercise for the child with disabilities whilst actually having fun and making memories.

I can imagine how some people would frame using benefits for the local David Lloyd though.

After filling in our forms, which was a tortuous process both emotionally and in terms of administration, I genuinely felt I'd earned our DLA!

I'd still love to see a link.

I think that's a great way of spending it.

Not while they're so short staffed. DS1's light touch review took 10 months to be processed.

It's a benefit that isn't means tested. Some people can afford all of the extra costs associated with having a disabled child and some can't. It just means they will have paid for things like private health, counselling, mobility aids etc out of their already ample pot, so can save the dla. Or spend it on holidays.

Anyone gaming the system is the fault of the system and its assessment criteria. It is a massive form and we have provided a great deal of evidence to go with it, so I don't see how people would be awarded anything without evidence.

Anyone gaming the system is the fault of the system and its assessment criteria. It is a massive form and we have provided a great deal of evidence to go with it, so I don't see how people would be awarded anything without evidence.

It seems like a hard system to game, if that is the case. I have heard about people who have had to fight tooth, and nail for the right award, even with a lot of medical evidence.

wft. why does it make you uncomfortable if a family of a disabled child uses the back payment for a holiday? Good on them. I have 2 disabled children and cannot afford a holiday but I wouldn't begrudge a family who can afford a holiday that way.

Yes, there are really long backlogs, which perhaps they should deal with before sending their wretched review forms out so early.

My sons DLA gets spent on 2 sports tv subscriptions. He is obsessed with football and it grounds him and watching massively helps his anxiety. I've been told this isn't what it should be used for.

Whoever told you that, is under the impression that there is a manual somewhere, dictating what the funds should be used for@Growsomeballswoman . Seeing as no such thing exists, then people should continue to use the funds to benefit in whatever way they see fit. As long as the person in receipt of the award is benefiting from it, then it is nobody else's business.

At the risk of stating the bleeding obvious, if you’re not comfortable with any social media group, just leave it. 🤷‍♀️

Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask but I don’t want to start another thread and risk it looking as though there’s an influx of threads bashing DLA claimants.

But my ex claims DLA for our autistic son yet doesn’t spend a penny of it on our son.

He is the resident parent due to my having had a mental health crisis last year and needing to go and live with family away from the area while I recovered. I’m better now but can’t afford to move back into the area where my children live, so they are still with him full time.

Anyway he doesn’t use our son’s DLA for anything at all that benefits him. He has admitted to this. He has refused to contribute anything towards an autism group that I’m taking our son to. I’m paying the fees and am doing all of the driving back and forth even though it’s a 90 minute round trip for me but would only be 40 minutes for him.

He’s reacted with anger at my asking him to help with the costs.

He’s now saying that he wants to pursue me for maintenance from my UC payments, even though he’s receiving the UC child element for 2 children plus extra for having a disabled child, plus child benefit and plus DLA.

He’s legally entitled to do so. But it makes me sick with anger and sadness that he won’t contribute anything towards anything to help our son with regards to his disability.

Does anyone know if there’s anything I can do about this? Morally, he is committing fraud as far as I’m concerned. Legally, he’s probably allowed to just use the money on his household expenses or whatever he does with it.

most of our DLA is spend on living costs. I had to reduce my working hours so DLA helps to pay the bills. we do not attend any autism groups or so. Disability has a lot of hidden costs as you may well know.

He is the resident parent, then the money is being spent on your son, one way or another@PrettyCamel .

Yes I do know there are hidden costs when someone is disabled. Ex-H works full time though.

When I was with him, the DLA was spent at various times on autism groups, private swimming lessons, riding lessons and music lessons for our son.

Not every single penny of it but it enabled our son to access these activities.

Now that Ex-H has full control over these funds, he’s choosing not to spend any of it on anything that benefits our child.

He’s refused to contribute anything to our son’s attendance of an autism group that I’m taking him to.

That’s what I take issue with.