Sara Sharif case - update - horrifying

[amIloud]

This case is just beyond the realms of horrifying,

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cgl461xwg3do

This poor child.

I can't become a foster carer because I'm already caring for two young children and working full time, as a lone parent.

I might consider it when they leave home one day, if they are able to and want to.

Yes, I would support a children's home being set up on my street. Children's homes should consist of 3-4 children in a normal house with regular carers on rotating shifts with whom the children can form long term and trusting relationships, as these people are in loco parentis.

They should be paid accordingly, properly trained, and all that these children need to repair the trauma and live a normal life shohld be provided.

I pay several thousand pounds per month in tax and I am firmly of the opinion that this should be the top funding priority out of all state services. The cost of this should be taken from my tax and everyone else's and what is left is what we have available to distribute to other services. It is an absolute scandal not to protect the most vulnerable members of our society - children who have no related adult protecting and caring for them - and I am disgusted I'm taxed so much yet this still isn't happening.

I was a child treated quite similarly to Sara, just one lucky enough to miraculously escape alive. I am heartbroken that nothing has changed in 30 years, and to know that it won't because frankly nobody really cares. Everyone says they do when these stories are reported but when voting time comes around who puts this at the top of their priority list when they assess the political parties' policies? Who asks the MP what they are doing about it?

Nobody. It doesn't even feature in voters' top ten list of concerns reported in political polls and never has. These children have no vote, so unless other voters demand it nothing will change for them. But because it doesn't affect their own families they bang on about housing or tax or immigration or whatever instead, and leave these children to suffer and die.

Yep people vote for tax cuts, then blame individuals doing almost impossible jobs, when it all goes wrong.

Even taking part and supporting people who want to avoid paying taxes.

When people say "why wasn't she taken into care?" what care system? its falling apart, childrens homes are even more badly funded, children in these places often fall foul to prostitution and drugs.

If you can read this article and not be enraged by the self serving nature of the family court judge you are better than me. I wonder how many other children’s lives this person has ruined? I think we deserve to know, frankly.

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/dec/12/sara-sharifs-father-given-custody-despite-years-of-reported-abuse-of-mother-and-siblings

Enormous sums paid for poor quality out-sourced children’s homes (£281000 per child per year according to The Guardian article below). They are often owned by foreign companies. Unfortunately the outcomes from them very bad, though better than being beaten to death.

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/may/18/child-care-cost-year-wealth-funds-councils-britain-residential

The policy of putting children with abusive fathers because of ‘fathers’ rights’ is not related to cost.

No it is not. That’s on us, and our society

Well it is, because the alternative is place into care and private childrens homes are charging a min of £5000 per week, £10,000 per week for more complex cases.
The mother was deemed unfit to care for the child, hence placed with the father.

Councils have no money for this.

Hopefully there'll be a long timeline with incidents involving these two evil despicable beings in jail. Or will they get protection in prison? We couldn't have these 2 monsters exposed to violence by fellow inmates, could we?

Did you watch the video with Batool and how confident and stroppy she sounded during the police interview? Wondering why Sharif admitted guilt and whether Batool knows of even more depraved behaviour from her twisted darling husband. Living in that house with these brutal monsters must have been literal hell on earth.

That decision guaranteed violence, despite all the little bits of paper agreement by social services. Perhaps on reflection, they might have spent the money?

Yes. The care system in the UK is appalling. That's the point I'm making!

It doesn't have to be. It isn't in numerous other countries. This isn't some law of physics, there is decades of data showing that it can be done properly. It is a choice of UK voters and the politicians that they elect not to do so and, instead, to leave children to suffer immense unnecessary abuse and pain and trauma, and in some cases die.

These arguments about how we should just accept leaving children in situations where the authorities have solid evidence that they are at risk, are highly likely to be subjected to abuse and neglect, and should do so because the UK care system is a shambles, are extremely depressing.

One would hope a rational reaction to that situation would be to say "fix the care system then! Copy the models that have been proved to work in other countries." For voters to demand that politicians do this as their top priority. And then change the system and remove every child as soon as there is any evidence of abuse.

But they do not. Hence politicians not even bothering to include this in their manifestos and nothing changing. If politicians believed they would not be reelected unless they fixed this you can be damn sure that they would, very quickly, because the cost of it compared to many of their other problems is insignificant (defence, net zero ambitions, state pension costs... alll dwarf what this would cost; to show some basic humanity to the most vulnerable members of our society and prevent their horrific suffering).

But they don't. And they don't fund it because voters don't care about it.

Nothing will change unless they make it clear that they do because these children cannot vote.

She was failed ignored let down and essentially led to her murder by so many people.

My heart breaks for her even more so at this time of year when she should have been at school (yes I know they removed her but they did that for foul means ) excited to join the fun of all the celebrations parties and joy with her friends. Friends who are so very young and will mourn her for the rest of their lives.

I sat in court and heard the evidence of her wanting to hold a friends baby at a garden party she went to. How excited and caring she was and that is how I will choose the think of her as myself and my colleagues begin the dreadful task of dealing with what comes next week once sentencing is passed in the case of Sharif.

Social & public health services are broken, my DD has to prioritise very ill people for the care they get after a stroke, they ALL need it but most do not get any and even those that do, have the number sessions cut year on year.

She has to use cancelled appointments to then ad lib and go visit the most severe cases off her own back.

Child social services no different.

@Meemeows I agree with you, and I do wish more people would see safeguarding children as a national priority. Too often people focus on things like prison sentences for abusive parents, and while that is important, it doesn't keep children safe.
I was also a child from an abusive household who went into social work to try and improve things, but it is so piecemeal. Someone mentioned about Manchester social workers having caseloads of 18, they are doing really well and have great management and still have their battles, the situation elsewhere is so much worse. I spoke to a social worker today, four of her team are off sick, the 5th is leaving Friday, she'll be the only one left on her team. There are 130 children open to that team and her and her manager are trying to pull staff in from anywhere to help, and desperately trying to recruit agency, but they're drowning. The knock on effect for children is huge.

They know. They all have televisions and can buy a newspaper if they wish. They know exactly what's gone on

Why are these poor children given back to these abusive monsters.
It never changes

All I have to add is look at the threads on here over and over again that family courts ignore the father’s ( and it is almost invariably fathers before anyone starts) abuse and treat it as irrelevant to issues of residence and contact.

An abuser is abusive, and should be treated as such

Family Court judges need intensive training in respect of abuse and coercive control. Because they seem to have not a clue

What will happen is that a person, likely an individual female sw will be named and blame apportionment and they will be held to account. But its not one persons fault, it's a cumulative list of missed opportunities or red flags being excused or explained away.

It's horrific there's literally a catalogue of abuse going back to before Sara was born. When teachers reported bruises would this not trigger a different response for a child already known to ss and having been in care at least once , in the care of a man known to be violent, than to a one off report about a child.

There's no point for the usual "Lessons will be learned" line if we keep using the same failing, underfunded, understaffed and broken system.

I'd have greater respect if a person in authority came out and admitted they had massively failed her because the whole system doesn't work effectively.

Well there was a thread here a couple of days ago where a step mum was incensed that her husband's ex had accused him of abuse. Her husband had, according to the poster, vehemently and physically removed his son from a situation where the boys apparently misbehaved.

I didn't post as everyone felt sorry for the poor victim dad and painted the ex as a witch, they completely took what the poster wrote at face value.

I just asked myself how vehemently did he handle his son.

There are many threads on Mumsnet where parents or step parents who come across as having less than good intentions seeking advice and getting lots of support. Perhaps Mumsnet needs to review it's rules and add something about that type of thread where a posters ask for help as they complain about being accused of abuse.

These women get over involved. With an abusive man, they can end up defending him because otherwise their judgment would be wrong. It is a toxic combination which means they don’t bother to help the children, and indeed see them as deserving of “chastisement”. The role of step parenting in the abuse of children is less considered than it should be. It is a risk for children to have such a parent.

The school is the one part that seem to have done everything they could.

Social Services and family court judge are the ones that failed.

@Thetrickcyclist thank you for that reply with info this morning

Totally this.

Training for social workers is supposed to be getting more rigorous but who would do this job, really. Below average wage when starting out for the huge level of responsibility from day 1. Massive drop out rates once qualified and people realise what a thankless and frankly, dangerous, loaded role it is. Burn out and mental health issues due to the trauma of dealing with horrible abuse and violence (usually from men, but not always, day in day out). Constantly being threatened. Not a lot of support because your manager is hugely stressed too and may not be that more experienced than you. I'd rather work in a supermarket for not much less pay.

The guidelines for whole-life orders do include a whole-life term for murder of a child where there has been sadistic content. The press have mentioned "sadistic" a lot since the verdict, with regards to what Sara suffered. Whether the judge considers it to meet the threshold for whole-life rather than a minimum term, I guess we will find out at sentencing on Tuesday.

I think you are missing the point which is why was the father seen as the better option than the mother?

Having read the full story now it doen't seem that she was ever safe with either of them. An older sibling (who is rarely mentioned) seems to have been removed while Sara was allowed to return to her mother, only to later be removed to the care of her father. But any idiot can see that based on the SS history of the family, neither parent was ever fit to care for her. It's beyond appalling that she was allowrd to fall off the radar of SS having had both her parents brought to their attention before she was even born.

It does make you wonder what the fuck goes on in social services and what exactly these civil servants are being paid for, when things like this can happen right under their noses, with every red flag in the book just standing their waving at them.

Every time we hear of yet another heartbreaking case like this it always transpires that the family were known to SS all along. It beggars belief.