To think it isn’t good that my DDs teaching assistant did this?

[Jammydodge97]

At pick up today. I was stood in the playground and her class where with their TA. Their TA said who can see their grown up. (She is 5,Y1). I saw that my DD said something to her and her TA responded, so I presume she said she could see me. Next thing, my DD has left the line and is moving fast towards another part of the playground which is higher up, out of sight.(juniors pick up part) I thought where is she going? So followed her up as it was very very busy and I couldn’t see her through the crowd at first. I caught up to her and she’d gone inside so I waited for a while. Turns out she’d forgotten her water bottle and her TA told her to go up there and get it. (Their classroom is up that way but they come out of different doors at pick up time). I thought this was bad that the TA let her leave the line, go to another part of the school where I wouldn’t have been able to see her and by herself. She wouldn’t go with anyone else I know this but she is only 5 and it was very very busy and no one was with her. Her TA hadn’t seen me, so didn’t know that I’d gone to follow her, so when we came back down she wouldn’t have been aware that she was being dismissed to the correct parent if I hadn’t have waved to show I was with my daughter. So for all she knew, she could have gone with someone else. Aibu to think this is bad or am I over thinking?

If it is TA making sure a child goes to correct guardian then that was not appropriate. She shoukd bave waited for you to arrive then you and DD go get it or DD goes gets it while you wait newr by.

I get you with all the madness it can be easy pickings when the TA is not monitoring anymore.

I wouldn't kick up a fuss but tell DD what you would like her to so i. That situation. I.e please wait for me to arrive before leaving the TA / Carer.

If you’re just bothered about a TA and a water bottle then you’re extremely lucky. Your post is unbelievable. Teaching Assistants look after children with learning disabilities…not water bottles.

I’m going to disagree with the majority it seems and say this is a safeguarding issue. If your daughter was going out of the TAs sight, whilst school gates are open, the staff member is unable to guarantee her safety and supervision. Whilst it is obviously highly unlikely she would wander out the school or be abducted, there are protocols in place for a reason. At this point, they can absolutely not guarantee who is on site.

I would report it to the school so that they can remind staff generally about hometime procedures. I’m saying this as an ex-designated safeguarding lead in schools and would absolutely expect this to be reported in so we could address it.

This is completely normal. But I get it that you were worried. Get used to your child gaining autonomy, it's scary but natural.

Your child collected their water bottle from a busy area. The TA knew where she was. Your DD did not run off - she sought permission and it was given. The TA presumably remained on the door until she returned?

It would be a concern if she had slipped away unnoticed or if the TA had closed the door and left her but I don't think either of those things happened.

I really don't think this is an issue.

She probably looked at you then but would have cloacked you already.
When doing this job, you have eyes at the back of your head. See multiple regular people and know who's there without necessarily doing it one by one.

YABU.

As a former TA I can tell you that this is pretty normal and I wouldn’t upset yourself about it. DD was still on school site and as PPs have mentioned, the TA will have been confident that your daughter was up to retrieving her water bottle on her own. Also, you won’t have seen but I imagine that the TA had an eye on her walking up to the building and will have seen you going to her.

@Jammydodge97 I agree with you.

There's an inherent assumption that the adults who are there are picking a child up, when that might not be true - we've all seen programmes about paedophiles or absentee parents being present, watching kids etc.

No, the TA should have found you then you go back with your DD to get her water bottle or sod the bottle, it'd be there the next day! I would have a quiet word so it doesn't happen again.

This early on in year one I wouldn't be happy personally.

It's really not an issue. Think you might need to unclench if I'm honest. Bit pathetic to get worked up about something so inconsequential.

Maybe you should change schools or home school your child if you're that upright

This wouldn't worry me at all.

I fail to see the issue here unless your child is well known for running off.

This happens all the time. The TA presumably couldn't leave all the other children to escort her back to the classroom. It's pretty standard

She only went to get her water bottle. I don’t see the problem.

I disagree. She did it at a time when the school gates were open and hundreds of people were leaving the school site.

very different from other parts of the day when the gates are locked and every adult on site will be a member of staff.

When I was a child a lot of DC that age walked to school with older siblings or neighbouring children.

Children need some freedom and autonomy. With that comes a degree of risk.

It wouldn't have bothered me at all. The TA will have made a judgement about your child's competence and kept an eye out for her returning with the bottle.

I know you'd like to handhold and wrap your baby in cotton wool forever but you do have to let them go a little bit at some point so they can learn important skills like independence, personal responsibility and reliance?

The TA showed trust that she could be responsible enough to go to her classroom to get her water bottle..... in a controlled environment, never leaving school grounds. It's one of their jobs to teach this, they can be 'babied' forever.

I can't see any issue with what happened.

Not who you were replying to but I don't understand your total exasperation with the other poster. Not all schools are the same. I've never worked in a school where there isn't a member of school staff on every gate so a child wouldn't be able to leave by a different exit even if they weren't with their class. Our school gates don't even lock and the wall around the school is about an adult's waist height - this is actually common in some areas due to planning restrictions.

This! A child was let go into the playground without an adult to collect or supervise with unknown adults. If it wasn’t an issue they’d just kick all the kids out at 3 without checking they had someone there! I’ve walked into a playground for the first time to pick up friends kids as a stranger and no one has ever stopped me and said I wasn’t the usual parent walking across the playground

Letting a kid go back into the building to get their water bottle via a door right there wouldn't be an issue, but letting them walk off through a playground at pickup time is definitely dodgy! That's why they make them stay with their class until they're handed over to their adult!
It's completely different to letting them run errands in the school grounds during the day, the gates are locked and the office has a record of who is onsite.

exactly!
even without anyone with bad intent, if a group of her friends had walked past sharing snacks I'd give it 50/50 on her carrying on to get her waterbottle vs joining the snack group and walking out the gates with them.

You think it's likely she would come across a group of 5 year olds with snacks walking out of the playground?

I think it's probably too young to have been trusted to walk through masses of parents/kids milling about. KS2 would be fine but 5 is too young. I work with 4yos and they are literally handed to parents. I wouldn't risk my own skin. Even something small like she didn't return for a while (maybe went to the toilet or got distracted) could have got TA into serious trouble. I would have left it and told her to get the water bottle with you after she's been picked up.

at pickup time? yes absolutely at our school. There's usually a... not sure what the collective noun is, a loud of 5 year olds?... anyway, the playground is full of groups of friends, usually all milling about in the direction of the exit sharing snacks and inviting their friends to come and play in the playground over the road together?