To think it isn’t good that my DDs teaching assistant did this?

[Jammydodge97]

At pick up today. I was stood in the playground and her class where with their TA. Their TA said who can see their grown up. (She is 5,Y1). I saw that my DD said something to her and her TA responded, so I presume she said she could see me. Next thing, my DD has left the line and is moving fast towards another part of the playground which is higher up, out of sight.(juniors pick up part) I thought where is she going? So followed her up as it was very very busy and I couldn’t see her through the crowd at first. I caught up to her and she’d gone inside so I waited for a while. Turns out she’d forgotten her water bottle and her TA told her to go up there and get it. (Their classroom is up that way but they come out of different doors at pick up time). I thought this was bad that the TA let her leave the line, go to another part of the school where I wouldn’t have been able to see her and by herself. She wouldn’t go with anyone else I know this but she is only 5 and it was very very busy and no one was with her. Her TA hadn’t seen me, so didn’t know that I’d gone to follow her, so when we came back down she wouldn’t have been aware that she was being dismissed to the correct parent if I hadn’t have waved to show I was with my daughter. So for all she knew, she could have gone with someone else. Aibu to think this is bad or am I over thinking?

I'm a teacher and agree it is perfectly normal to send a Y1 pupil to collect an item by themselves. But not at the end of the day when the site is very busy, and we have no way of knowing that they are all parents. I would have told her to go and get it with the adult collecting her.

It’s called teaching independence! The TA would be keeping an eye out for her to return and the teacher may well have been in class (otherwise why weren’t they letting the children out).

Call the police to log it, hun. How very dare she put your bubs in so much danger.

How big is the school?

I wouldn't like thjs if the gates were open because my DD has been known to run off.

My 5 year old goes back in by herself all the time.. for a wee or to get her cardigans that she leaves daily.. I really don't see the issue here

If the TA hadn't seen you, presumably she'd said to your child to go get her bottle then come back to the line, to be dismissed from there?
Does your dd have a history of running off unsupervised? Because I'm not really seeing an issue if not.

Where did you collect her from outside of the queue? I assume it was the class TA and not a 1 to 1 if so sending her back makes sense (adults shouldn’t be allowed in the building at this point) and I assume the plan was to come back to the queue and then dismiss to you.

if you picked up before it is you who went against the rules

This sort of rubbish is the reason why it’s so damn impossible to be a teacher or teachers aide in today’s world. Parents like you who are absolutely obsessed with finding tedious non-events to complain about are the reason teachers are leaving in their droves. The endless suspicion, lack of trust, the constant nit picking. You and people like you make it absolutely impossible for them to do their jobs.

Please get a grip. If your daughter had come home without her water bottle you’d probably be complaining about that. Heavens above.

How do you think children move around school during the day? Answer.... independent.

The TA did nothing wrong. A Year 1 child will know their way round the school.

The gates were open so no she shouldn't have sent her off as she could've left by herself or worse left with a stranger. Unlikely, but it makes a mockery of waiting for parents to pick up, might as well just release the whole class on to the pavement if that is allowed.

But the TA did see OP.

She presumably told the child to come back to the line, and knew whether she could be trusted to do so.

It is probably against school policy as there were other adults on site, but the risk is so tiny that as a parent this wouldn’t worry me.

Given that known propensity, presumably the TA wouldn't let your DD go off on her own. It doesn't mean the same rule has to apply to every child.

You were in the wrong for following her and then taking her home instead of encouraging her to go back to her TA.

The TAs, and teachers aren't meant to use their judgement or trust that pupils will return though. They're meant to follow school policy, which for most schools is that, when there are multiple parents on site and a gate is open, the children must be with a teacher, TA or released to a parent. Not just released somewhere else and trusting that they will return and then be released to a parent. Sometimes you don't know if a child is likely to escape, until they've had a chance to escape! And it's totally different letting kids wander around school when the gates are locked and there are no strange parents on site. I don't think it's a massive deal but the OP hasn't made it out to be a massive deal...but I do think it's likely against the schools own policy.

Mumsnet always have a load of replies that are just contrary. When there was a poster who wanted her sensible 10 year old released to talk 100m down the road to her house where her parents were in there were loads of replies saying that schools had to have blanket rules, they can't be expected to make judgements about whether kids are capable, so all kids should only ever be released to parents, and 10 was too young for any sort of independence

True.

That sounds totally normal to me, but I suppose it will depend on the layout of the school and how they do hometime. At my DCs school, the only gate is manned so no child can leave without their usual grownups. I would have no issue with this at all.

She didn't "allow it". She sent the child to the class and expected her to come back before being collected. The OP decided to intervene and upset the entire security system at the gate. Not really the TA's fault.

It’s quite a big school. Several open gates dotted around at pick up time, was very busy. My DD also does sometimes wander and she gets distracted sometimes, I’ve told her many times but she doesn’t see the danger. That’s why I followed her. Although I don’t think she would go with a stranger but It was very busy and of course anyone could be on the grounds

She only saw me after as I waved to show I was now with my DD, other wise she wouldn’t have known

I think it's OK but a bit rude to do it while you are standing there! Would obviously cause confusion. I think your DD is very probably completely capable of doing the task but the idea needing to communicate that to you is beyond most 5 yr olds and the TA should have let you know.

Blimey she was navigating a school, not Times Square at 3am. I think it's fine.