To think it isn’t good that my DDs teaching assistant did this?

[Jammydodge97]

At pick up today. I was stood in the playground and her class where with their TA. Their TA said who can see their grown up. (She is 5,Y1). I saw that my DD said something to her and her TA responded, so I presume she said she could see me. Next thing, my DD has left the line and is moving fast towards another part of the playground which is higher up, out of sight.(juniors pick up part) I thought where is she going? So followed her up as it was very very busy and I couldn’t see her through the crowd at first. I caught up to her and she’d gone inside so I waited for a while. Turns out she’d forgotten her water bottle and her TA told her to go up there and get it. (Their classroom is up that way but they come out of different doors at pick up time). I thought this was bad that the TA let her leave the line, go to another part of the school where I wouldn’t have been able to see her and by herself. She wouldn’t go with anyone else I know this but she is only 5 and it was very very busy and no one was with her. Her TA hadn’t seen me, so didn’t know that I’d gone to follow her, so when we came back down she wouldn’t have been aware that she was being dismissed to the correct parent if I hadn’t have waved to show I was with my daughter. So for all she knew, she could have gone with someone else. Aibu to think this is bad or am I over thinking?

You should have sent your child back to the TA to be dismissed, not chased her across the playground.

She was given a clear instruction to go and get her water bottle, and no doubt told to return to the TA immediately.

You were the one who interfered, so you can't blame the TA.

One less lost water bottle. I’d see that as a success!

how can you possibly know that she hadnt seen you?

i think if your year 1 child cannot walk across the site to her own classroom and back, it is your parenting which is the problem. It is onlrelatively recently that primary school grounds have become like prison yards!

Yes, otherwise she would have been expecting her to reappear back to be collected. This seems a complete non event

Complete non issue. The TA is teaching your child independence and obviously made a judgement that your Dd was sensible enough to follow the instruction.

Bit surprised by the replies. I can’t imagine this happening at DC school. If they forgot something and had to go through school to get it then fair enough but if my child was released into the playground and headed off in a different direction I would be concerned too. The TA should have called you over and explained so Dd could get her water bottle after being handed over to you.

Unless there is a drip feed it is perfectly reasonable for the child to go collect the bottle return to the line and then be released.

So your 5yr old was out of sight of the TA if I'm reading that correctly? Honestly I'd have left out of one of the other gates without bothering to have waved to her to show you had your child, then i would have waited to see when/if they noticed that they hadn't handed your DD over to her appropriate adult.
Absolutely the TA should not have accompanied your child as they were responsible for a full class of children, they should have told your DD to wait until everyone else had been collected and then you/TA could've accompanied your DD to get her water bottle. It wasn't an unavoidable emergency it was a water bottle.
What have the school said today @Jammydodge97 did you address it with them?

Definitely not a problem!

No drip feed needed for those of us who work in a school. Is this not a huge clue for those of you insisting it’s not a big deal?

Our job at the end of the school day is to ensure a child only leaves the class with their adult. Jumpers and bottles are right at the bottom of the list.

I am I and our of a school in a professional capacity. It is perfectly normal for a child to go back to a room and return to the ta 🤷‍♀️

This is beyond ridiculous

How do you think children learn independence if they can’t do these very basic tasks?

You’re kidding? 😂

Why bother locking gates? Having key fobs and lanyards? Why buzz visitors in during the school day? Honestly, have a think about it.

All that security and then you drop it all at the last minute for a forgotten water bottle.

I am with you on this one. I think moving freely during the day is different to moving freely when gates open. It's not like they ID people walking through the gates.

We don't have that level at all present. It's a perfectly safe area. The premises is large. Why wouldn't a child go from a yard to the room and back again. Your description sounds like the prison education college.

Yeah , theres loads of people just hanging around the school playground on the off chance they will be able to take a small child who's been sent back to get a water bottle . In broad daylight as well

No. That's what I would have expected her to do.

She was inside the school grounds!

The TA was alone with a class? What else were they to do?

I send children back inside to fetch things or go to the toilet then check they're back and then return to their adult daily.

There's usually adults inside to help guide returning children. It's fine.

But if you hadn't have interferred, your daughter would have gone back to her TA to wait for you.

You're unhappy that the TA didn't know that you were with your child, but the only reason the TA didn't know what was happening is being you intercepted your daughter rather than letting her follow the instructions she'd been given in the first place (to wait with the TA until she's dismissed).

I literally have no idea what's supposed to be wrong with this.

Perfectly normal. Growing independence.

The TA was in charge of your child at that point. Your child spoke to her, the TA answered her, giving her an instruction. Your child followed the instruction..

She had not yet been released to you, so it was clear that wherever she was going, she'd be returning to the TA.

You got in the way of the whole thing, by not respecting the TA's responsibility for your child at that point.

Had your child taken off without that interaction with her class adult, this might have been different. But you saw the conversation happening, and should have waited for DD to return..

Teacher here, I'd only trust certain children to do things like this. The TA obviously made a judgement that she was sensible enough and she was safe to collect her water bottle.

Objectively I think it’s probably fine, but my 5yo DD actually did leave school site a few days ago.
I picked her and DS up from their classroom, said right let’s go get older DD from her class (three classrooms away, small site, can literally see every classroom from any place) and she got distracted talking to a friend half way and I called out to her come on DD, while stood literally a few meters away, when she looked back up I wasn’t right next to her and instead of thinking ‘ah yes we are picking up sister, like we do every day’ she thought ‘mummy has left without me, I must find her’ and she literally left the site! I had a full scale panic when I looked back and realised not only was she not stood where she was a minute ago, but I actually couldn’t see her anywhere.. luckily another parent saw her looking panicked and upset outside the school gate but honestly it can happen so quickly, in places they know so well, in the middle of a routine they do every single day!
So while I don’t think the TA probably did anything wrong, I’d still rather just go with her!