If you could say something out loud you knew you could never say, what would it be?

[twistandshoutloud]

I'll go first.

I wish I could tell my SIL that I dislike her so much and I wish she'd never met my BIL. I hate that she is now part of our family. She came to disrupt our (far from perfect but lovely) family. I hate the way she treats my BIL. I hate how she makes everyone pander to her every whim. How all her messages are passive aggressive and how rude she is to my MIL. I could never say this out loud of course, but I dream of it often.

Feels good getting that out of my chest.

Anyone else feel free to add.

I was wondering the same thing.

I would give my MIL a shake and ask why she doesn’t stick up for herself with FIL, and ask her seriously why she is still with him.

I would tell my DH that when he posted on his dead ex’s memorial page about her being the best travelling companion anyone could ever have had and that he often thinks about all the fantastic places they visited together that it it made me feel worthless and shit. He couldn’t even be arsed to book a honeymoon for us. I would tell my DH that he has killed any desire I once had for him stone dead by refusing to get treatment for his ED. I would tell my DH that if I wasn’t old and tired now I would leave him.

To my sister who thinks I was the golden child, our parents were just as shit to me, just in different ways, I was just quieter about it. Also you seemed to have forgotten how abusive you were to me as well, I kept my head down and just took it.

To everyone who thinks the uk is such a shit finished country, literally every other country has the same perceived or real issues, and as far as countries go, we have won the lottery, also sod off with specifically being able to slag off the English and get away with it!

Get a fucking funeral plan you selfish fucking arsehole.
We do not want to waste a single penny on you alive or dead.
And no one, and I mean, not a single person will give 2 shits when you are gone.

Colleague. That lip filler looks shit.

@SpaciousHodgePodge i have tried believe me. It just doesn't sink in.

I wish you'd come home.

Bil - please get therapy you nasty self indulgent lying excuse of a man. you are not the “carer” for your mother , you actually make her ill with your whining.

I’m exhausted. I want you to still love me, I wish the way we used to be. Also we need a bloody plumber and carpenter 😅

I wish I could tell my DDs what a bastard their dad was to me, and that actually he did have a choice to have them 50/50 but he left them to move hundreds of miles away for another woman.

To the mum with borderline personality disorder at the toddler group I went to 25 years ago, no it’s not a mystery and yes I do believe the kids at school called you no eyes pig nose. They were cruel but accurate.

I wish I could say that I wish I’d never had my DS. He leads a miserable life which is so full of anxiety and fear about other people, and he himself can be so difficult to be around with his constant stream of paranoid thoughts, accusations and blame. His emotional regulation is so poor. I worry that his future is bleak. He hates his school despite it being set up for his needs. If he can’t cope with it how is he going to cope with the rest of life? It took years to get the diagnosis, the additional support, the therapies, the special school, and still life is shit for him, and therefore for me becuase how can I be happy when he is still in so much turmoil. Everything is supposed to be okay when you get the needs properly identified and met. It is not.

I don’t know what the answer is anymore. We have done everything we can possibly do. I am beginning to lose empathy. He is always worried, angry, paranoid, revengeful etc when he is with me. I understand why, I just don’t have the empathy anymore and I am shutting myself off from him to protect myself. I have to really force myself to act as if I like him and be the mum he needs. I often fail. Why can’t I be the mum who doesn’t have any issues with her kids just with the system? Or better still the one that doesn’t have an issue with either her child or the system? The one where it just all works and I only have normal Mum worries.

Your child behaves badly because of your poor parenting, not 'because of their ADHD'. Also, for fuck sake don't tell your child all about their 'diagnosis', because now they use it as an excuse to do whatever the hell they like.
'I couldn't help deliberately tripping X up, I have ADHD'.
Jesus wept.

I hate you. You treat my sister like shit. She should have left you the first time you cheated. The second time was completely unforgivable, but that's not the worst of it.

You are a cry bully. You manipulate her. The reason she wants to leave you is not because she is broken and faulty or because she 'came from a broken home' it's because you're an arsehole.

She will leave you one day. I hope it's soon and if you do what you threaten and turn her children against her, I will come down on you like the raging fires of hell.

I can't say any of this, because when I'm not friendly enough to you, you take it out on her.

And all that coercion and threatening you do to make her sleep with you? That's rape, mate. It really is. You're a filthy rapist.

Now fuck off.

(I have to host this piece of human excrement this Christmas. I can't wait)

I would tell the much younger man I met at a gig over summer that I think about him EVERY DAY.

We only kissed and danced, but it was the highlight of my summer. He is exceptionally hot and made me feel so alive and sexy, after I'd been feeling like shit (due to a breakup followed by two back-to-back medical procedures).

I doubt he thinks about me - he's back at university enjoying himself. But we follow each other on instagram and send the odd 'like' to one another's stories.

I'd tell my best friend that her parents were utterly toxic. Her mother, who died about 20 years ago, made her think that jobs that actually made money weren't "nice". So BF has spent 35 years in poorly paid jobs that, on the whole, she hates. And neither of her parents maintained their house or gave any thought to their later years, which means that BF has effectively left her own (rather nice) life, to move in with her deaf and increasingly mad father and try to organise things like fixing the giant holes in the roof, because it has been inculcated into her that you don't pay for things like care. I miss her.

This made my heart break for you. I could read your sadness and despair. I wish things could be better for you and your son.

That actually no I’m not okay and that every morning that I wake up it’s a disappointment. That I’m just going through the motions, on the outside watching in and feel to numb and tired to want to change it.
You did awful, awful things and left us with the feelings of shame and disgust whilst you escaped it all by dying. I don’t think that I will ever feel happy again but I have to pretend that everything is okay and keep going because I want to protect my children and for them to be happy the way I wish that you had felt about me instead of doing what you did.

I think people who commit suicide are brave.

I hope your sister leaves him and he gets what he deserves.

A conversation is supposed to be a two way thing. I'm sick to death of every detail of your life dribbling into my ears. You're always so bloody negative. On the rare occasions you ask me a question, you never listen to the answer. You know hardly anything about me, yet complain that I never tell you anything - you never give me the bloody chance! You're boring and I avoid you as much as I can.

Telling your disabled DGC that you will financially support them through uni then not is a really shitty thing to do.

I wish I could tell my Sister that after she left home, my life got worse. Mum didn't stop drinking, she just had it when my Sister visited.
My childhood was horrific and I'm still getting therapy now in my 30s and have CPTSD.
But she thinks my childhood was way better than hers and she's so happy that "things changed for the better" after she left.
I can't tell her. It would break her, and it wouldn't change a thing that happened in the past.

Thank you @twistandshoutloud.

I feel so much better for getting it off my chest.