To wonder if it’s really true that you should avoid discussing money with anyone other than those directly involved with your finances?

[HonestBrickSquid]

I see people all the time say not to talk about money with family, friends, colleagues, or really anyone in general. So, is it best to only discuss money with people who are directly tied to your finances, like your employer, partner, or those who manage your money? Or can discussing finances be okay with others in certain situations?

I never discuss money with anyone. There is absolutely no need.

I work in Financial Management and the majority of people in speak to have got themselves into the position as they thought they couldn’t speak to anyone about their finances.

we need to change the narrative of talking about money to be a taboo subject. Maybe start with the simple things like sharing when you have found good savings accounts or budgeting apps. Then you open the door to more complex things.

people need to be able to ask for help before their finances are crippling them.

That's a weird thing to say?

My wide friendship group all talk about money. We all know roughly what each other earns. It helps all sorts of things - expectations for trips, meals out, events for example.

Money should not be a taboo subject as far as i'm concerned,

Perhaps if more people talked about money with friends & colleagues, the gap between male and female earnings would be even more obvious and talked about - which may lead to more action?

IMO the more transparency around salaries the better, especially people you work with so that your employer has less chance to screw any of you over without you realising. The salary threads on here always end up with people on high salaries being accused of lying and people on low salaries not having realised how much they’re being underpaid. Information is a key part of price discovery including in labour markets and you don’t want to be the one receiving the asymmetric information.

You don’t need to discuss what you spend it on though, unless something like as PP said a friend looking to get similar eg extension and wanting a benchmark.

Nope, it's up there with religion and politics. People get really chippy about money.

That should have been the first comment as it nails it!

People with money don't want people talking about money.

Because then one day the general population might realise how royally fucked over they are by those hoarding all the wealth.

Talking about money (especially salaries) needs to be normalised for us to progress as a society and sort out the shit heap our country is turning into

Depends on context.

Eg Discussing your and your partners joint finances with your friends/siblings etc isn't really considered the right thing to do ( I would be really annoyed at this)

But it's ok to discuss with an advisor at the bank if a loan or better saving deal is needed .

Also being vocal about finances if you are wealthier or complaining about living costs if you are wealthier than the person listening is particularly distasteful.

It's ok to discuss general finance not personal. Ideas on how to budget and make the most of it. Or discuss ideas for investments and so on.

Money is a broad topic, so it depends on the relationship and the context.

The ins and outs of how much money I have and how much I spend, I would only discuss with my dp or my brother. With others, my experience has been like pp, too much chance of someone getting or feeling judged, embarrassed, or hard done by.

If it's general talk about money management, who my ISA is with, budgeting and so forth, I am fine about that.

I'll talk about money with people close to me. Maybe not specifics but whether we or they are struggling, how expensive things were, when friends were saving for a mortgage and doing a renovation.

At work we all pretty much know what each other earn because we know what grades they are and it's transparent which I like.

I would confide in a friend if I was struggling and hope they would with me.

Lots of us are broadly matched in terms of income with some outliers at either end of the scale.

I don't think it's vulgar at all.

But, I have one particular family member who constantly talks about what things cost, how much they earn how much their house was.

When they had lots of money this was very boastful and made others feel bad including how much individuals gave them as wedding cash.

Then their circumstances changed and it's all about how skint they are, how little they earn etc and again, it seems intended to shame or make people feel shit.

Even comments on how much food is in your fridge (a normal amount) or whether you pay finance for a car.

I know why they do it, because they grew up poor and this has created a fixation on money but it's very wearing.

I'm not remotely interested in how much money other people have.
Salaries are banded so no issues there either
-all the we should talk about it, give advice
No thanks
I will carry on being responsible for my life and choices, you do the same.

No one is happy for someone else if they have more money, earned or inherited
It ends up in bitterness and jealousy or they feel entitled to it .
Nope

This. It's absolutely no-one else's business

I always talk money with my children who are now adults; how else are they going to learn about it?
When I was younger I had some involvement in payroll and I was shocked by how little people knew when they came to me with questions. Eg they wouldn’t know how much their personal allowance was or anything about tax or NI.
There was a thread on the money boards about a headteacher and a senior officer on large salaries but with huge amounts of debt. A situation I or my children have never been in despite earning average salaries.
So we do need to understand money.

Tricky one. I think in general it can be a bit of a minefield.

But I also think that by treating money as a taboo subject we don't do ourselves any favours, many people's financial literacy is shocking. I work with a payroll department and the number of people I speak to at work that are clueless about their pension, or don't understand compound interest, or how income tax brackets work is really worrying. These are intelligent, professional people but some of them have absolutely no idea about personal finance. I had someone want to turn down a promotion a few months ago because she thought by just going over into a higher tax bracket she would be earning less than she was currently as a lower rate tax payer. She thought her whole salary would be taxed at the higher rate.

I do talk money with a close friend as I know we are in a similar financial situation. It has been helpful to discuss mortgages, savings accounts etc with her. But in general life I don't go round talking about our personal financial situation.

It's up to you. Some are uptight about money talk and others don't mind.

As pps said.
Sums are different to financial chats. I am very much pro finance chats and thanks to that some of my friends got better saving accounts than they had, better credit score, cheaper leccy etc.
Eg. I moaned about my saving rate moving down and turned out friend just kept her money in these 0.01% accounts. Few beers later, she had set up x% easy access aaving account. Nothing ground breaking.
Friend's credit score waa like 600. She had no debt ever, no credit and was not on electoral roll because she was in HMO and didn't think it mattered. It did when she needed something. She was refused for rental outside of HMO, moaned, so few of us on evening out helped her out with how to make it better.
Same like someone kindly spent time explain credit score to me when I first heard about it in 2011! By 2016 my non existent credit acore (immigrant) was good enough to get mortgage on ok rate even as ftb with 5% and single income.

Salaries. Especially women should absolutely talk salaries...

Financial talks can absolutely benefit people.

Oh and incredible number of people do not understand fully for example credit cards.

Financial products, options, etc should bw freely discussed. You don't have to say how much you have in them exactly.

Absolutely this

I never discuss money with anyone, ever. I have been burnt in the past by doing that.

I once mentioned having a small inheritance due to both my parents dying (my mum died quite young) at work and then got a few people asking for loans, assuming I was a millionaire (no idea why they thought that) and expecting me to pay for everything. It was truly awful and I naively thought in a general discussion about money where we were all talking about it they wouldnt focus on it. Sadly, when money is involved people often turn into vultures and it's really quite shocking.

Now, I never discuss it, it's my business and noone else needs to know anything about my finances. Its not because I think its "vulgar", I have just seen how money talk changes people and not in a good way.

I have a small group of friends and nearly all of us have experienced life changes in middle age - divorce, poor health, death of spouse, children moving out, downsizing etc. we do talk about money sometimes and I see it as supporting eachother.

I don't ever discuss money with anyone, this includes my husband. I'd be uncomfortable with anyone else telling me about theirs.

I think it's really sad that someone would feel so closed off about finances that they'd be worried about closer family knowing how much they're spending on a house.

Also, you know anyone with your address will be able to look it up after you move?

No, I never discuss it with anyone. It's fine if you want to- thats completely up to you, but I am very private and I feel like it's entirely my business.

I think it's really sad that someone would feel so closed off about finances that they'd be worried about closer family knowing how much they're spending on a house

I dont think it's sad at all- it completely depends on what your family is like. Not everyone has decent family do they? some families will try to leech off you if they get so much of a whiff of any spare money.

I steer clear of those who randomly discuss salaries, house costs etc for no reason other than to stealth brag.
I won't be their cup of tea and they won't be mine.