Nanny keeps changing baby's clothes

[coverp]

I know this is far from the world's worst problem and that I'm letting it annoy me more than it should, but any ideas on if/how to address appreciated.

We have a nanny part time for DD (8mo), 2 older children in pre-school/school. Literally every single time I get the baby dressed, the nanny will change her clothes. For a while I just assumed poonami but then realised that there were clean clothes (worn for an hour or 2) in the laundry.

I have asked a couple of times and she's said 'Ah I just thought she'd like to look a bit more girly' (I had dressed her in a vest with blue bears on) and 'I thought she needed another layer' (I had dressed her in long sleeved vest plus light jumper, which she replaced with short sleeved vest and different patterned light jumper).

I know I just need to let it go as it's such a minor thing overall, but it's making me irrationally cross. The unnecessary laundry is part of it, although in a household of 5 it's not a huge thing. It's more the feeling that she's saying she knows better than I do.

YABU - just shut up and let it go, you're lucky that the relationship with the nanny is pretty good

YANBU - say something (what?!)

This is a non event OP, you employ this woman and it's your child, you say 'don't get her changed unless she needs changing' and that's it. If she ignores you you repeat firmer. What else could you need to say?

Any other red flags? Sounds a bit weird to me and I don't think I'd be comfortable with this nanny.

When mine were babies I loved getting them dressed in clothes and outfits I'd picked out. I'd feel a bit strange if someone changed them for no reason....

(but I've never used a nanny so maybe this is a thing?)

Knock this on the head right now! A nanny should not be deciding that a baby should look more ‘girly’!!

Have a word today. This is creating more laundry - ridiculous.

She freaky your baby like a doll to play dress up. Put a stop to it.

You're her employer, you can tell her not to change the baby's clothes unless dirty.

I do think sometimes they consider their professional reputation as it were - my nanny won't take the baby to nanny meet ups unless she's in a clean, coordinated, usually pink outfit, presumably she thinks it reflects on her as a nanny.

And she changes the baby after every poop even if the clothes are clean. But she also does all the laundry so I don't mind.

My nanny’s job was to dress the kids on weekday mornings - dc would be in pyjamas until she did so. So on that basis I think it’s a bit strange you’re dressing her

I would find a new nanny.

What else is she undermining you over is my first thought. Next it will be what she eats, her naps.. etc.

If she's generating needless extra laundry the perhaps doing baby's laundry should be part of her nanny duties (if it isn't already).

I would be irritated at having to launder still-clean clothes.

You employ this woman so you’re absolutely entitled to say how you feel. A straightforward ‘please don’t change her unless her clothes are wet or dirty’ will do, and if she keeps on with it you can decide if it’s worth escalating.

Yes, my nanny did the same. It’s fairly normal behaviour

On the basis that this is completely pointless and 8 months olds don't normally love changing their clothes, it's not in the child's interests to be doing this so I wouldn't like it. Also the laundry although if it's only been worn a couple of hours it doesn't need washed surely - put it to one side for the next day?

Either let the nanny dress or or tell her you would prefer that she didn't change her but if she does and clothes or still clean she must put them away and not put them in the laundry.

Just ask that clean clothes go back in the cupboard so they can be used again.

I wouldn't want a nanny who believed girls need to look "girly" and that blue bears weren't suitable for girls. Someone who believes in that crap has no business raising children.

It is a bit odd and does suggest she's treating your baby like something of a doll? And yes, annoying to have additional laundry.

If it's any consolation, we had a part time nanny who only did a couple of mornings with DS. She often dressed him but it was like leaving DH in charge - I'd come home and he'd be wearing a black stripey tracksuit pants with a pink and yellow polka dot t-shirt and lime green socks or something. NOT an issue in the bigger scheme of things but always slightly irrationally annoyed me!

I'm glad it's not just me who finds it odd.

There are a few little niggles but nothing I'd put in the category of serious. When I WFH and she is in the house, I've asked that she bring her to me for a feed rather than using expressed milk as I struggle to build the stash and DD drinks more than I express whilst I'm out at the office. If she's taking her out, she obviously takes milk with her. This had to be reiterated a few times as she 'didn't want to disturb me', but is less of a problem now that DD is eating a little more.

But overall, she is very engaged with her (and the older 2) and I trust her completely to look after them well, which is ultimately what matters.

You do dress your baby as you want. These is one of the few priviledges of having a baby. Also, a bonding one with little one. You choose their clothes to be comfy, soft with patterns that you like and hope your little one likes too.
I would not take gracefully to another woman changing her clothes just because she likes others more.
Tell her not to change the baby's clothes at least they do need changing.
I would also look closely if she is respecting the ways you want her looked after- like meals, play activities....
Especially for your older children.

Agreed. I honestly wouldn't care how good the nanny was, expressing those ideas would be a huge red flag for me and I wouldn't want someone with those attitudes taking care of my child.

PP are right to say treat this as a staff management issue.

I had a member of staff once responsible for completing custom templates. He was getting behind on his tasks, and on diving into why, it turned out he was adding things that he thought looked nicer etc that weren't on the requirements list.

It's quite important that she understands that when you ask something, you're her employer giving an instruction, not a friend making a suggestion. That doesn't mean she can't act autonomously, but that if you say something, she should follow it.

"Please just stop changing the baby for no reason constantly, its loads more laundry, & I dont have the time"

Ah I just thought she'd like to look a bit more girly

I'd wonder whether she was spouting other sexist nonsense around my children.
The 8mo doesn't know or care, but I'd want to check whether she had rigid ideas about what girls and boys should be doing and if the older children were exposed to that.

As for the extra washing - it would piss me off.

You don't have to wash clean clothes, just put them back in the drawer, so the "making laundry" isn't really a problem.

I'd have an issue with the girly clothes comment, and address the sexism though.

Nanny is putting the clean clothes in the laundry so it's a pain to have to check each item.
Putting clean clothes or ones that have been worn for a couple of hours in the laundry is something we have to each a lot of teenagers not to do. It's so wasteful.

The next wave of onesies in my house would be solid blue and covered in tractors 😂 I can be a bit childish though!