What am I supposed to do about this medical procedure? Has anyone had this and what sort of help will I need? Stressed

[usermkal]

I have a 2.5 year old who is massive for their age. I need to have a hysteroscopy with a spinal block and have been told I shouldn’t lift anything as heavy as a pint of milk for three days afterwards!! I don’t know what I am going to do as ds is so heavy to lift into the car to get to nursery or even to get out of his cot. Has anyone had this procedure? I had a c section and I absolutely could not have lifted ds for a few days after, is it that bad?

my ex is going to be there for the day while I have it done so he can take ds to bed etc that night but that night and the next day I will be alone. I want ds to be in nursery as obviously that is easier than him being at home but there’s nobody I can ask to drive him in. We are very remote. Would it be dangerous to drive the day after? Any advice welcome thank you!

if he’s nearly too big for his cot, I would be tempted to get him a bed now.

She’s not having a hysterectomy.

Yes if he won't support you then he's not actually a good Dad. From what I can gather it's not going to be anywhere near as bad as when you had a C section. Can he just sleep in bed with you for a few nights? Maybe give yourself a break and accept that he isn't going to nursery and give yourselves a couple of days off with tv and treats. Treat it like you would a long haul flight. I had to do that alone with my 2 year old recently.

Maybe but him a new sticker book or activity thing. You will probably be ok with local walks out etc. maybe accept the nanny offer and ask for a home help instead who can clean etc. The more you try to think of ways you need help with the car, the more down you will get because it's not possible. I hope it all goes well.

It's just another one of those things you have to deal with unfortunately. I hope one day your ex needs a bollock operation then you can remind him how it feels to have to look after a kid alone.

Of course she will need discharging. Day patients don’t just wander off when they feel like it! She will be monitored after her procedure and then provided with advice and any required medications before being discharged home.

You are right that she is highly unlikely to be kept in though.

Yeah to be honest that all took a lot longer than I thought to get discharged when I was in last week

I had a GA for my hysteroscopy last month - it was that or a spinal block - after they couldn't get in the normal way. I think either way (GA or spinal block) the anaesthetic wears off after a few hours, though I was advised not to drive until the following day. Here's some decent advice:
https://rcoa.ac.uk/sites/default/files/documents/2022-09/Hysteroscopy2022web.pdf#:~:text=What%20type%20of%20anaesthetic%20will,to%20your%20womb%20(cervix).&text=you%20may%20also%20be%20offered%20sedation%20(medicine%20to%20relax%20you).

Everyone is different, I have had one and it was an uncomfortable experience but I was upa nd running the same day and back at work the next.

However, we all need it for different reasons and not everyone has the same journey.

@usermkal I’ve had two, one with out pain relief at all and one under anaesthetic. I was fine to lift and drive the next day (I had a polyp removed so not just diagnostic). I was told to take it easy and not drive on the day but nothing about the next day other than to expect some bleeding and not have baths until the bleeding stopped.

As a single parent I get its shit and hard. But he’s 2.5 you don’t need to lift him for a few days. He can get in the car himself. He can sleep in your bed - or on a mattress on the floor if needs be.

If at all possible, get someone to help you. Anyone - an old friend or relative, or a hired carer or babysitter. Even a local teenager who could lift DS and move things around under your instructions, popping in at key parts of the day.
I'm amazed the way some single mums manage on their own, but everyone needs help sometimes.

I had a uterine polyp removed. Was offered a general anaesthetic but opted for a local… no spinal block needed.
Maybe I was lucky but I didn’t find the procedure particularly painful - do you need a spinal block or is there another option?
I don’t remember any discomfort afterwards or being told not to lift.
Hope you get on ok, all the best.

OK so only read this far but....."OK Ex. As you wont then social services have said that the only other option is temporary foster care. So I have told them that its ok for him to go for the full three days rather than mess DC about. FYI"

He will back pedal so fast his knees will combust.

I was very worried about my procedure, but once the gynae was past the cervix, it was painless. (The speculum was the worst of it - I have problems with vaginismus.)

The gynae was very experienced and I think that that made all the difference. I was told that "a more extensive biopsy" had been taken, but I didn't feel a thing. Ditto, the insertion of the Mirena coil.

I took paracetamol and ibuprofen beforehand, as instructed and and also a 2mg table of Diazepam. (I phoned and checked that that was okay - my GP prescribed it because I was anxious.)

I’m surprised at 2.5 he isn’t able to follow instructions enough to climb into his car seat and also still has a side on the cot. Especially since he is tall.

My eldest was getting into her car seat at 22 months because she had to - her twins sisters were either side and I couldn’t lift her post c-section anyway.

Nothing like needs must to discover what your kids are capable of.

Thanks everyone. I think I’m feeling a bit low as this sort of thing is a really horrible reminder of the fact I am very much on my own. Ex is a good dad to ds but he couldn’t care less about putting on me or making my life harder. It makes me sad.

Thank you everyone. I think I am getting upset as I feel so vulnerable suddenly and I am usually really robust and just get on with things. Ex has always put work first and is pretty ruthless so it’s not unexpected he’s reacted like this but it still makes me feel shit.

@usermkal Then he's not a good dad, if he was he'd be putting your son first and looking after him for a couple of days! I've got one like this. He's 'always' working. That's his excuse for everything. Wouldn't even take paternity leave, said his boss wouldn't allow it. Left me in recovery after a c section because he was tired. Absolute twat. Hasn't paid any child maintenance either, (he should be rolling in it if he's always working.) Your ex is a twat too and I'm sorry he's not being supportive. 💐
If this is his attitude now your son will pick up on it as he grows up, and might not have much time for his dad when he's old and needs looking after.

If there is no one you can call in for help, you could try transitioning him to a bed and teaching him to climb in and out of his own car seat.

I had a hysteroscopy and polyp removal.

They gave me paracetamol. That's the norm. Just have it without the spinal. There's no need really.

This.

I understand people can get anxious but this is getting a bit daft. Most women just have a paracetamol. It's not much more than a smear test really.

That’s not true. My hospital wouldn’t do it without sedation. Flat out refused. Said too painful

Its typical to only require paracetamol.

The Royal College of Obstetricians best practice guidelines says paracetamol an hour beforehand. They say routine use of analgesia is to be avoided.

Of course someone could be particularly anxious just like some women are for smears. They could have a phobia. But unless there is other information that hasn't been shared then the OP should be fine without a spinal block as the vast majority of women manage without.

I asked the anaesthetist on the day for sedation rather than GA and he was very positive about it.
Woke up after an hour and felt back to normal.

I've had GA before and really suffer after.

Ditto my consultant. (private).

You don't know why a spinal has been recommended. All fine to say 'oh X guideline says manageable with only paracetamol' - true for some people but not all!

C section guidelines are paracetamol and ibuprofen. Some manage on that, some need more.

Historically women's pain management, especially surrounding gyne procedures, has been largely grossly neglected and written by men. Women think they have to 'manage' because surely childbirth is worse and if it was a man going through it they would be giving proper pain relief.