What am I supposed to do about this medical procedure? Has anyone had this and what sort of help will I need? Stressed

[usermkal]

I have a 2.5 year old who is massive for their age. I need to have a hysteroscopy with a spinal block and have been told I shouldn’t lift anything as heavy as a pint of milk for three days afterwards!! I don’t know what I am going to do as ds is so heavy to lift into the car to get to nursery or even to get out of his cot. Has anyone had this procedure? I had a c section and I absolutely could not have lifted ds for a few days after, is it that bad?

my ex is going to be there for the day while I have it done so he can take ds to bed etc that night but that night and the next day I will be alone. I want ds to be in nursery as obviously that is easier than him being at home but there’s nobody I can ask to drive him in. We are very remote. Would it be dangerous to drive the day after? Any advice welcome thank you!

With some notice temporary foster care can be arranged - I would investigate this - if only to make ex feel guilty!! He absolutely should be stepping up but it might come better from social services rather than you

I had a hysteroscopy and polyp removed with just paracetamol. Perfectly fine to do everything as normal the next day.

I have no advice op but you have my sympathy. It gets easier when they start school. I had some stomach issues & the dr mentioned that depending on the results, he would then refer me to gastric. It was a massive reminder of how fucked I’d be. My ex would choose work over helping me. Luckily, it seems to have resolved but I could get ill at any time.

When they start school, you get to know other parents & I could definitely find someone to help I think. Also, I’d ask my friends (as much as I wouldn’t want to burden them as they’re busy).

i hope it works out for you 🥰

Personally I would try to stay in hospital for the night. Don't tell you ex until that night. He can just take emergency parental leave like every other parent has to do.

At the nursery end, can the staff lift him in and out for you for a few days? And is he old enough to learn how to climb in? Mine were at that age.

You can't stay the night as an outpatient!!

I also had polyp removal

If she's not fit to discharge they will keep her in.

I had a c section when DS was 2.5. In the run up I explained to him that I will be going to the doctor, sleeping there and when I get back my back will be sore so I won’t be able to carry him for a while. He accepted it when the time came and I still remember the joy on his face when I told him it was ok to carry him again.

Would that work - explaining to him what’s going to happen?

I had a polyp removed as it happens. They put something on it to stop it bleeding, but to be honest it didn't really occur to me - probably should have done.

Ds1 was 2.5 and huge (off the centile chart for height and weight) when I had ds2 via emergency c section. I was a single mum so no help. I did end up carrying ds1 the day after the c section but tried to avoid it as much as possible. Could you remove the cot rail so you don’t need to lift him in and out? A lightweight stool/step would work well for getting him in and out of the car 🙂

She doesn't need discharging, she's not an inpatient, it's a day clinic unless something goes really wrong, which is incredibly vanishingly rare for this extremely routine procedure.

If she is unwell after the procedure they will admit her. They won't just throw her out just because she is an outpatient.

I don't know why you're being so dramatic, it's so incredibly unlikely that anything will go wrong, necessitaing an overnight stay. OP doesn't need to be scared any more.

Yes the Dad is a shit, but this procedure and recovery is infinitely do-able and absolutely nothing worth panicking over.

I had breast surgery when my son was 2.5 (6 months ago) to get him in and out of his cot I just put his bedroom chair next to his cot and held his hand so he could climb in and out obviously moving it away when he was in it. He sat on his bum down the stairs, and was happy to get in and out of his car seat by himself with me holding his hand getting out. I was absolutely shitting it as he is very active and boisterous but I felt like he knew I was in pain and needed help and he was so good!

This sounds so difficult for you and I really feel for you. I’m a complete lone parent with a family miles away and have definitely had moments like this where I’ve felt completely alone.
On a positive note - school era got a bit easier with mums helping eachother after school - so I hope you won’t always feel so isolated.
Is it worth looking for some local nanny help for this period? It may cost a bit but give you piece of mind if someone professional was staying with you for a day or so?? Or even advertising for help from local older teenager on local Facebook group as you would be there to supervise but they could do any lifting and a bit of cooking? I thinking getting to know someone who could help could be useful x

I had one earlier this year with polyp removal but requested a sedative instead of general or spinal block. Was completely out of it in a nice deep drousy way. Was not told to avoid lifting anything heavy. Much easier recovery with a sedative.

I’ve recently had a hysteroscopy and had a polyp removed, and I didn’t have a spinal block, was just told to take painkillers an hour before! I was able to return to normal activities within a day. My polyp was small though, less than a centimetre, maybe yours is bigger. You could ask why you’re having a spinal block.

Ask for general anaesthetic instead. I had this and was fine by next day,
Ask z friend to stay over for support.

My eldest was 19mo when his sibling was born and in the weeks leading up to that I had SPD, I taught him to climb in and out of the car himself and he went into a bed (with a safety rail).

I hope you can get some support with your recovery and clearer advice on what to do/not do, but if not you can still manage with a bit of preparation. At 2.5yo he's old enough to understand 'Up you get, Mummy has a sore tummy and can't carry you'.

Thank you everyone. I think I am getting upset as I feel so vulnerable suddenly and I am usually really robust and just get on with things. Ex has always put work first and is pretty ruthless so it’s not unexpected he’s reacted like this but it still makes me feel shit.

I have had back surgery - when looking after my GC I got them to climb up into the car themselves from a very young age.

sometimes they just don't work... can't get it in the right place/doesn't numb all the right bits/surgery lasts a longer than it usually does... it's definitely not common to have to convert to a GA, but it is always the back-up plan.

definitely shouldn't be driving/have sole responsibility for a child for at least 24 hours after a GA. Doesn't matter if you 'feel fine'.

Same rules apply re. driving/looking after a child solo after sedation as for GA.