What am I supposed to do about this medical procedure? Has anyone had this and what sort of help will I need? Stressed

[usermkal]

I have a 2.5 year old who is massive for their age. I need to have a hysteroscopy with a spinal block and have been told I shouldn’t lift anything as heavy as a pint of milk for three days afterwards!! I don’t know what I am going to do as ds is so heavy to lift into the car to get to nursery or even to get out of his cot. Has anyone had this procedure? I had a c section and I absolutely could not have lifted ds for a few days after, is it that bad?

my ex is going to be there for the day while I have it done so he can take ds to bed etc that night but that night and the next day I will be alone. I want ds to be in nursery as obviously that is easier than him being at home but there’s nobody I can ask to drive him in. We are very remote. Would it be dangerous to drive the day after? Any advice welcome thank you!

Ask nursery staff and parents for help? I would have been more than happy to do a nursery run for another mum in these circumstances, assuming it was more or less on my way.

Your ex is not a good dad. He'd rather leave his child in sole care of someone the day after a medical procedure where you might not be able to look after him properly? Honestly, he's a fucking dick. Absolute, fucking stupid dick.

Anyway, that said:
You're a great mum and you'll manage. Make sure you tell everyone about how ex hasn't stepped up after your op when you see them with DS in tow! And make sure you refuse to have him back if Ex ever needs it for whatever reason (though you'd take him if there was nobody else because you're not a dick like him, but I'd make him panic / suffer first!!)

I'd get a taxi to take him to nursery if there's nobody else, you could just ask the taxi driver to help if he needs getting onto the seat (any normal human being would, I'm sure). Then at least you can still rest!
Ask nursery to help get him back in the car at pick up time, whether it's you driving or a taxi. Our nursery will do this. Again, make it clear dad refused to help so unfortunately you have no choice.

Or, stay home and let him watch cocomelon all day, order takeaway and don't feel guilty about it!

As for the cot, you could always have him in your bed, or even just put the cot mattress on the floor for a bit while you recover if you absolutely can't lift. But I'm sure you'll be ok.

I was advised no lifting for 6 weeks after some abdo surgery a couple of years ago. I was alone with my 9 month old a few days after, it was fine.

I had a laparoscopic surgery in July (I am not sure how similar or not this is to what you are having), but I wasn’t allowed to lift my toddler for two weeks. Fortunately DP was here, did drops offs/ pick ups and generally took the load, but I could not sit upright for a few days. Could only lay or stand, no in between, and certainly could not drive. I believe the part of not heavy lifting and not driving was to not burst my internal stitches. You are also not supposed to be alone for 24 hours after surgery in case of complications, so as PP have said, your ex needs to step up and take DC and take some annual leave/ parental leave. Frame it as for their safety, and not as something for you. Failing that, if it’s scheduled surgery then you could maybe speak to the team at the hospital about staying in (whilst not nice) I can’t imagine they would want to release you out to be the sole carer of a young child when you’re likely not physically able, which would force ex’s hand. Best of luck OP.

Hi OP,

I'm really sorry that you are in this situation. Things were like this for me for years, but eventually I got ill from exhaustion and my DH had to start helping. Unfortunately if your DH won't help then eventually something will go crunch and he will have to. I mean like if you got a slipped disc or a long hospital stay or whatever. Eventually the chips will be down and he will need to engage his brain.

Ideally you need to give him a good talking to before something goes crunch, because it's always harder to mend things after the crunch than before.

I had a hysteroscopy a few weeks ago, no pain relief, it was fine. I went straight back to work in early years lifting the 3 year olds.
Isvthere a reason you are getting a spinal block? I had a polyp removed and it was relatively painless

I don't really understand the issue- he's 2.5years old? Surely he can get into and out of his car seat. Climb into cot/ upstairs/ where ever you need him.

If you're worried about the spinal, then call from the hospital, say there's complications and they're keeping you in for obs. Then ex will have to actually parent.

I had a hysteroscopy in March and it wiped me out for days. I had no pain relief and was told that I would be fine within 24 hours. The procedure was done through my cervix and they definitely underplayed the pain and bleeding in the days afterwards.

The other option, if your DH earns a lot of money, is to use the money. You could buy a massive lego set or whatever and just let your DC loose on it while you sit. That's what I used to do. If DH won't help physically but earns a lot of money then you can use the money.

I'm having polyps removed next week and nothing has been said either about a spinal block or about not lifting. Bit worried now!

Do you remember the name of the sedative? Thanks

He’s saying he will pay for a nanny for two days. This doesn’t make me feel less stressed as I will have to explain to the nanny about DS’s routine etc.

Thank you to posters keeping me positive. Some really good ideas and I’m definitely going to get some steps

It will be fine- had one a few months ago with removal of fibroid and polyps. Had a general anaesthetic. No problem other than bleeding, like a typical heavy period. Not especially uncomfortable. Unless you have a complex gynaecological history you should be ok hopefully. Lifting a hefty toddler will make you bleed heavier than otherwise. Can you get someone to collect you afterwards? Maybe consider a nanny for the first 24 hours? Best of luck.

You can't drive after a hysterectomy anyway and at 2 1/2 he should really be out of a cot by now.

Does your cot not convert to a bed?

At two and a half he could easily go into a bed and make your life easier. It won't be good for you bending over and lifting him even without the op.

A rolled up towel along the edge under sheet helps stop them rolling out and I put a stair gate on the bedroom door so still no escaping if that's a worry. If he gets up in the night you can still hug him at the gate and return him to bed but no lifting.

Get him practicing to be a big boy and climbing into his car seat. Have a few rewards ready by way of cheap stickers, little books or other treats (bribes) in case he decides on a non compliant day.

Explain to him mummy will be sore and won't be able to lift you and really praise him for helping you.

Oh, I’m so glad OP you will have a nanny for a couple of days. You really shouldn’t be lifting things and you need some respite to recover. I hope you heal quickly and things aren’t too stressful.

If he is a very tall child, how on earth are you managing to keep him in a cot ?

@334bu only just!

Can you take a couple of days off work and just chill at home with your child and don’t do the nursery run? I had a very long time not being able to lift my own DC and even with support it was very tough. Hang in there.

I’m mostly shocked that ex won’t step up and just take the leave he is entitled to. I can’t get my head around it really.

I had a hysteroscopy with 2 polyps removed 5 days ago under sedation (not a spinal, are you sure that’s what you’re getting? They offered be sedation or a general anesthetic). No one mentioned heavy lifting to me and I have been lifting my young children as usual from the next day. I was told no driving the next day after sedation. I was spotting/bleeding for first 4 days and still a bit cramps now but nothing to worry about

Sorry meant to add im also a single mum

Also just to let you know I was in hospital a lot longer than I expected, the full day basically because they were delayed so factor that in as well

Me neither.

Period-like cramps and mild bleeding afterwards is common. The bleeding is usually mild and should settle within seven days. To reduce the risk of infection whilst bleeding it is best to:

Use sanitary towels rather than tampons.

Avoid vaginal sex for one week after the hysteroscopy and until the bleeding has stopped.

Take it easy for the first one or two days and take painkillers as neede

I had one including polyp removal a week ago. No spinal mentioned. Just had gas and air. Maybe request that instead so you’re able to carry on as normal the next day.

I had this procedure around five years ago, no painrelief or spinal block (I'd honestly never have it done again without any kind of painrelief) and I had it to remove a polyp.

There was no mention of heavy lifting, I don't know about driving because I was in London and just took the tube. I was fine after, during was horrendous but after it was done I walked home, no issues and carried on like normal. I appreciate it isn't the same for everyone but you should be fine.