To think it's rude to let your kid sit on a video call eating and slurping away?

[lasagnelle]

My brother always does it. I'm fed up of seeing and hearing my nephew eating. They are 5. It's gross. I don't know why he does it. Aibu to just ignore the call as it's rude or is this what people do with their kids.

Depends on the context really - sometimes children of that age have to be bribed into things like video calls. My child hated it at age 6/7, might have refused altogether age 5!
I sometimes eat my dinner while on FaceTime to my adult son, and vice versa.

This is horrible, I’d tell him to call back later if he calls when they’re eating - why on earth is he calling you when they’re eating anyway? Is he talking to you and they’re in the background?

Just say you'll call back later when they've finished eating.

Manners are not important for some parents.

are you talking to brother or nephew? if it bothers you why not say something? you can say something like "let's have our call after x has finished slurping eating" or (and I'd do this) "hey, X, can you do that somewhere else, I'm trying to talk to your dad"

Might be the only way they cam get them to sit for the video call. We do it with my toddler to talk to her grandparents or she's off.

5yos are often uninterested in video calls with family. The snack may be a way of getting him to sit down and speak to you.

I think video calls between family are relaxed and don't need to be overly formal. We occasionally ring PIL during dinner. If you said you didn't want to talk to my DC when they were eating, I would follow your wishes but would also think you uptight and make little effort to call you at times that didn't suit me.

I'm not sure I could get that worked up about this in a 5 year old. If the sound is really bothering you then I'd ask that he move a bit further away from the mic!

Why do they need to do a video call then? Is it essential?

I mean it's not essential, but the grandparents have asked for it

There’s a difference between a call being informal and a call being full of slurping small children, it’s hardly uptight not to want to hear/see munching.

I’d be quite happy if someone called less at those times, I think that’s the general goal.

Yeah I haven't asked for a video call but aparantly he wants to. It's really disgusting

We don't know that the calls aren't at OP's request though.

Personally, yes I do think it's uptight to be bothered by small DC eating in just about any context.

Do you not think that's sweet that he wants to call you? Let me tell you, my similar aged DC have zero desire to call family members.

OK that's different. I guess it's fine to say you don't want it then. Ours is that the grandparents want it, but to get it we have to have her eating or she won't stay still

I'd rather they just didn't call. The kid can't be getting much out of it just me talking and him ignoring me and eating a watermelon

It's only because he's hoping my daughter is with me but I always lie and say she's out or in the bath as I don't want her picking up the habit

Would your daughter like to speak to her cousin?

Putting barriers in their relationship because your DN (who, again, is 5) doesn't eat as quietly as you'd like is a bit OTT, surely you can see that.

They aren't. The kid basically calls me up to talk with their mouthful or crunch peppers and watermelons at me while I talk

How do you cope with people eating in real life?

I don't think it would occur to me to get upset over this. You seem easily "disgusted".

Tell them that then. It usually is the adult doing all the talking at that age, as the children can’t focus and don’t treat it the same as a real life encounter. My child wouldn’t speak unless asked a direct question, and even then would just say ‘nothing’ when asked what he’d been doing, which was never true. He would speak in real life.

They don't tend to eat right in front of my face and show me the inside of their mouth while they try to talk

It's only because he's hoping my daughter is with me but I always lie and say she's out or in the bath as I don't want her picking up the habit

Instead of the habits of judging and lying

Well you sound a delight op!

Why don’t you just tell them you don’t want to talk to ‘the kid’ nor do you want to foster a relationship between him and your daughter.

Just don't pick up OP.
If they text to ask why, just tell them you'll talk to them when they're finished eating.

Gosh OP I'm sorry but I think you sound really miserable. Your poor nephew!