AIBU to limit the duration of the Christmas visit

[Grannyinnwaiting]

DSIL and child are visiting from overseas this Christmas. My elderly FIL and MIL live an hour away. They are coming to us for Christmas- no problem, we've a bigger house, I like to cook and we all get on. My sister will also be coming. I assumed they would come for 3/4 nights which was fine.

Now they want to come for 6 nights - we live rurally so thats a huge amount of shopping, catering and organising and I think I'll be run ragged. None of them really cooks so it'll fall to me. AIBU to ask that they return to the parental home after 4 nights. I don't want to be mean but I do want to enjoy Christmas

I’m with you OP. My family live 3+ hours away and I always invite them for Xmas. They arrive Xmas eve and leave on 27th. It’s lovely but is hard work as it’s constant feeding and clearing up on a loop. I do look forward to the days after, before new year when it’s just me, DH and the kids and we can do things to put own timetable, go for long walks, watch films and eat up the leftovers.

No point starting a thread if you're ultimately unwilling to do anything about the situation.

This was my in-laws at my SisILs a few years back. They’d stay from about the 22nd to early in the new year, like characters in a Jane Austen novel. I think it used to drive her potty and boundaries were put in place.

To be fair, we are also annoying visiting relatives at Christmas but only because it makes sense for us to travel because of where everyone is and because of the distance involved you need to stay around 3 nights for it to be worth it (plus we don’t see family much throughout the year). If it were up to me I’d quite happily stay at home.

Anyway, YANBU. At least ask everyone to take turns cooking and make sure you get out and do your own thing.

Ye this is why it has been settled as 4 nights. It’s way shorter that the original two+ weeks!

the guests I posted about are coming from a long way too (about 5-6 hours on a train) so it is a long way to come at a very busy time of year to travel for only a couple of nights. It wouldn’t be fair on them to make it visit shorter and while it can be stressful and annoying I love these people, they aren’t being deliberately rude or malicious so I also want to make an effort and do genuinely want to see them.

the first night is the arrival date so it is a short one anyway. Normally an easy dinner or chippy tea and general catch up with a not too late night as everyone has been travelling and I’m normally still working that day.

no cooking but that is my choice as they are not great in that department (plus it just adds more clean up) but iv added in asking for help with other jobs like I said in my last post. I’m also normally popping out on the 24th to pick up last minute bits that the shopping missed etc

We have told them 23rd is too early - and they can come on 24th. So that'll be dinner on 24,25,26 and lunch out on 27 & 28th which will be manageable

So things got more complicated - I had to have unexpected surgery last week and though I was still released and was just about able to host with more help from the others than usual I said I couldn't manage the 5 nights we agreed and that they could only stay for 3 nights. We had lunch out today and they left this afternoon. 3 nights def enough