Why are men hardwork?

[CleverSloth]

So with him for over a year. Never had a real argument up till now.

He went out, drunk. Ended up in strip clubs and accidently sent me photos he had taken of women's rear end. That stuff don't bother me. I'm not jealous but lied and said he didn't even look. He's a man! Of course he's looking!

When talking about it, didn't realise what was up just "I went out, had fun"

Ignored for a week. To then text me and say "right, you are on your last chance. No more insecure, petty, unnecessary cr*p. I don't need or want it. So if you don't stop talking about it you will regret pushing me away!"

Then I explained, we've never argued before and of course I'm going to be upset over stuff like that as he never expresses how I look etc so it's obvious I will be insecure.

To which he responds. You're cute. Just leave it be. And move on. He struggles to communicate feelings and isn't the slightest bit romantic.

Am I being unreasonable here? I think I deserve more.

And back he goes into the sea...

They're not hard work. They're a hobby. And so entirely optional or replacable with a different one if you're not enjoying them.

The question is why are you putting up with it? Are you that desperate?

Men aren’t hard work. Neither are people with blue eyes, or those with red hair. Some people aren’t worth your time or energy, so let them go.

I can't think of many men I know who would want go to strip clubs. It sounds like he's deliberately trying to hurt you and play on your insecurities, he also sounds very controlling, putting you on your 'final warning'. You definitely deserve better and being single is better than being dictated to by a dickhead.

By convincing yourself that 'men' are hard work, you'll never raise that low bar of yours off the ground.

They make up around 50% of the world population.

Be more choosy.

You need one that is loyal and pleasant to you. That’s the basic line.

This one isn’t.

OP not all men are hard work. Yours sounds awful 😖 you say it doesn't bother you that he's going to strip clubs and taking photos of other women's backsides - this would bother me and give me the massive ick 🤮 why are you with this loser? You can do better and you deserve better!

Men aren’t hard work. You’ve picked a loser. Dump him and expect more in future.

He's just brought up that I said i'd change my number and I haven't yet. This was ages ago when dealing with a narcissistic ex who kept sending me miss you memes.

I blocked him and haven't spoken to him for months.

So maybe all this strip club lark is playing to see how far my buttons will go.

I'm not desperate. I've told him I won't put up with it and all his stuff will go in a box and dumped on his doorstep if it happens again.

I've never felt this way before about anyone and usually he wants what's best for me.

But going out with all single friends he's put them before myself and it hurts.

Yeah this one's no good. Lots of them are though, you just need to cut the crap ones loose sooner.

He isn’t “hard work”, he is a moron. I honestly laughed at his “you are on your last chance” bullshittery. He is both stupid and deluded. Bin. Immediately. Nothing here worth wasting time on. He doesn’t have trouble “expressing himself” he has nothing of value to say and he likes looking at women’s bare arses. I cannot imagine why you’d give him one more second of your time.

It's natural to look. I get that. No different to looking at videos online etc.

He's assured me it was just watching the polendancers and didn't have a lap dance ... but I'm not sure I believe it.

My friend says they are like hoovers. Should come out when needed

What do you mean ‘if it happens again’? ‘Jealousy’ isn’t the reason it’s ethically indefensible to go to strip clubs! After which juvenile sulking and then threats. In what world is any of this acceptable in a supposedly egalitarian, loving relationship? All you’ve done is shown him you are prepared to put up with his appalling behaviour.

‘Men’ aren’t hard work. The prince you’ve chosen to be in a relationship is a dreadful excuse for a human being. The world is full of men who are decent human beings who improve the lives of those they’re in a relationship with. Find one of those.

You’re worth more than this. A goldfish would be worth more than this.

Yeah, I laughed too. He makes little to no effort to be honest. And dismissed my feelings.

Wants to be cuddled like a baby and face rubbed etc when he stays over. Which is a bit sweet. But I'm the woman. For goodness sake!

He's honestly being a child right now. Putting his toys out of the pram.

I know I'm worth more. He's been in and out of relationships where I had one. For almost 20 years.

So I don't really understand how to be girlfriend instead of a wife. He goes on about how he wants space when we don't see each other and he's got a life other than me.

I get that. But I just want to be sure I'm not just a booty call a couple times a month. We don't see each other very often. But he does message every day.

I know I deserve more!

What bothers me the most about this is we have booked a holiday together. Due to go in 6 months time...

It's all in his name but cost more than an arm and a leg. If we cancel we can't get money back.

So I know he will just find someone else and chance the name on my ticket.

I know staying because of a holiday is dumb. I'm not that niave. But I guess it's all the dreams of the future now shattered because of silly half naked women that are too pretty for him anyway.

He wants to have his cake and eat it by the sounds of it. If his main redeeming qualities are liking having cuddles and his face rubbed then I'd be getting a dog as they do this and loyalty is a standard feature!

I think I would prefer a cat. They aren't as noisy haha

Just bin him off, mate.
he sounds like an absolute loser.
cut your losses on the holiday.

Nailed it 😂

It's not because of the half naked women.

It's because of HIM.

Throw him back and claw back some self-respect.

In 6 months time you could be in a great relationship with a man who loves, adores and respects you.

Not on a holiday with this twat.

He sounds like a prince.