To believe that people should stop expecting special treatment for “food preferences” (not allergies) at events?

[TheCoralReader]

If it’s just a preference, it’s on you to manage. AIBU to think events shouldn’t have to cater to everyone’s diet choices?

If I’m cooking and I know someone is allergic to something I’ll cater for them, but I don’t pander to people with fussy tastes or non diagnosed allergies.

I’ve come across people in the past who think things should revolve around them. For example, expecting birthday cakes for others to be dairy and/or gluten free so they can eat it. Unless it is a cake made for them, the answer is a big fat NO. Why should everyone else eat a cake that tastes like crap? I just buy them a cupcake from a shop instead.

If it’s not going to be a straightforward meal I’ll suggest we eat out so we can all be happy.

I never ask anyone to cater to me because it's just way too big an ask. It's only an intolerance, it won't kill me, but I'm not getting ulcers in my colon to please anyone. If someone insists they want to cater to me, I just tell them to boil me a couple of eggs.

The problem is your assertion that people can suck it up for 'just one meal' in general. That shows ignorance of the range of consequences people can experience. If you can do 'just one meal, no big deal' lucky you. Not everyone is so fortunate.

Yes, that’s a time when you just pick what is most appropriate.

I didn’t say they should ‘suck it’ up for one meal - I said ‘it was only one meal’, ie they could go without if they couldn’t navigate it, eat before/after, bring something they can eat. No-one dies of starvation if they miss a meal (or have to pick at the salads/whats on offer) - and before you say, oh but they may be diabetic, then again, they plan around their illness by eating/bringing a meal accordingly.

I’m coeliac, so not technically an allergy though I will be ill for days-weeks afterwards if I accidentally eat gluten. I am used to not being catered for, and wouldn’t expect special treatment.

What does piss me off is how hosts are mortally wounded if I suggest bringing my own food. They’ll insist there’s no need, and they’ll make sure I’m catered for. When I turn up it usually ends up that I can’t eat anything. “Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise there was gluten in crisps/Oxos/marinade/whatever.

Please, just let me bring my own and don’t make a fuss so I can go out without having to starve.

I had a work lunch last week - 8 attendees, 7 of whom were vegetarian. Veggie sandwiches were ordered for all but the non veg (a guest) made a big deal about the lack of meat.... I found this so off. It's one meal ffs! And you're a guest... people are weird.

Why wouldn't you? After all, no one eats just meat do they?

I only know 1 vegan, so why would I cater for 1/3 vegan?

Because if you are one if 2 vegans eating from a buffet that's serving 20 people and only 10% of the food is vegan you will eat virtually nothing because most of the omnivores will take a bit of everything, including a bit of the falafel and houmous, because they are trying to eat their 5-a-day/30 plants a week and why shouldn't they. So the vegan gets there and can pick a bit of salad garnish off from around the (nonvegan) sandwiches and may manage a bit of bread.

We were invited to a 50th last year and I reminded them that DH is vegetarian. We were all served beef wellington. When DH said ' Oh, sorry, I'm vegetarian' the host said' I thought you were taking the piss'!

DH had been vegetarian for nearly a decade at that point. TBH that pissed me off immensely.

What religious needs do you have whereby you couldn't even eat vegan food?

So clearly you have some sort of allergy to meat then, ie not eating it is not a preference.

My youngest is 30 and I was advised to wean at 4 months. She has absolutely no allergies, eats everything and is super healthy.

That's strange, I felt fine when veggie. Maybe you would be felt that way anyway?

If you're Jain you don't eat root veg, onion, garlic etc

Because if my (vast) experience of hosting and attending events where food is served is anything to go by, the carnivores will help themselves to all the vegan and vegetarian dishes........ without a thought for the vegans and vegetarians.

A lot of vegan food these days seems to be fake meat, fake "cheese" and other processed junk. It's disgusting.

I've met vegans who don't even like vegetables. It's laughable. They're on all the supplements under the sun.

I've no issue with vegan food if it's actual proper food but far too often it ain't.

I keep strict kosher. It’s not just the food it’s how and where it’s been prepared, e.g I’m not going to eat dairy that’s been cooked or served on meat plates or vice versa and I know for a fact that the kitchens that the food is coming from aren’t kosher. It’s complicated hence I don’t expect to be catered to, especially in a place where it’s not the norm.

Yes. I am an omnivore, not a carnivore.

I believe it.
Fed up of this rubbish.

You need to change your caterers. If all your guests are finding the vegan food 'vile' it certainly won't be because it contains no animal products, it's because they are really bad cooks! No need at all for vegan food to be spicy and there are lots of options that don't include soya.

Yes - if you’re only going to provide enough vegetarian / vegan food for the non-meat-eaters, then it needs to be on a separate table & clearly marked as such.

This is the bane of my life at work. I organise the catering for our whole company training events and ask for dietary requirements in advance telling them what’s on offer. There’s the usual vegetarian, vegan, coeliac etc. then there’s not too many carbs please, or no chilli, or slight dairy intolerance - err like what does that mean? etc. I pass the lot on to the catering company who to be fair cope really well (and the vegetarian/vegan is never fake meat) and then it annoys me no end, when I see those who said oh well I have X allergy, say to me oh it’s fine I’ll risk it because they fancy something else on offer. (Those genuinely fussy like tend to bring their own food instead - which is not an issue.)

I’ve now had to say allergies/requirements only e.g. eat this and I’ll be ill or genuine belief like halal or vegetarian. I can’t cater for your preference just because you say dislike onions, you’ll need to bring your own food - I always send round the menu, so people can decide whether they want lunch. (Don’t then get me started on when I gave up and asked people to order from a menu in advance by X date with lots of reminders and let me know if you need me to double check anything allergy wise on the menu. I had people complain they hadn’t any food, because they hadn’t bothered to fill in the form and apparently I should have known what they wanted.) I loathe doing this with a passion as it’s impossible to get right and everyone moans regardless!