To believe that people should stop expecting special treatment for “food preferences” (not allergies) at events?

[TheCoralReader]

If it’s just a preference, it’s on you to manage. AIBU to think events shouldn’t have to cater to everyone’s diet choices?

Agree. Home made food at someone’s house is different but if you can’t accommodate as a venue or caterer it makes you look bad. Obvs I wouldn’t chose those but it’s often out of my hands - I generally ring ahead and ask if they can cater for me now.

You're teaching your daughter to compromise her beliefs to people please. The compromise would have been to offer to pay and cook, or decline if the family had an issue.

Thanks - I’ve never been tested for celiac but I have violent diarrhoea from a biscuit! Pisses me off when someone assumes it’s a preference. Only if not wishing to be incapacitated on the toilet can be considered a preference!

@HangingOver "Oh good, we haven't had a vegan hating thread for about seven minutes"

🤣 has anyone said "if I cater for vegan/ vegetarians, they should cook me meat yet?"

I used to be on a team running activitiy holidays abroad. A group would typically consist of 20-25 clients. As the years went by the number of dietary requirements increased . We would often be having to go to specialist shops to source gluten free lasagne sheets, biscuits etc and be making 1 meat, 1 vegetarian and one gluten free lasagne. This would add extra time and expense. Then we'd go out on a day trip and the "gluten free" clients would be at the cafe tucking into croissants, pastries etc. It was really frustrating!

Not at all @DaemonMoon. She made that choice herself - I didn't say a word about it.

But I do think it was the right thing to do in those circumstances.

Many places don't even cater for dietary needs, let alone preferences. My husband is dairy and gluten free (medical need), but many places have dairy free options which contain gluten, and gluten free options containing dairy. But dietary preferences such as vegetarian and vegan will nearly always be catered for.
Eating out is a big challenge for us, unless it's very expensive places who seem to be more flexible

@Haroldwilson I was a veggie for 6/9 months in my late teens. Despite eating loads of vegetables, lean proteins and taking supplements for vitamins esp for b12 which lacks in all vegetarian. I felt so ill, full of colds etc,

I gradually reinforced meat back into my diet - ham sandwich, chicken on pizza etc. Within 2 weeks I was feeling back to myself again.

No idea why my body can’t take a full vegetarian diet. Yet have 1-2 meat free days a week. It’s not planned but it’s based on what I fancy.

I love all those ‘vegan food bad’ people. Yea, our diet is so ultra processed that I basically glow in the dark.

To be fair, if an older relative is cooking for me as a one-off & I know they’ve really tried to do veggie food, I’ll eat something like a non-veggie cheese sauce or a pudding with gelatine in. If it was going to be regular that would be different.

Those who attended weddings etc where the GF or vegan guests had to endure just veg, hopefully the special couple or organisers felt embarrassed and ashamed over the poor treatment towards these people.

I literally cater to vegetarian and meat eaters! Thats it! Its really not hard to add a few non meat dishes! If i know someone has an actual allergy to something then i will prepare something separate for them but apart from that no!

Well it was nice of you to try @Noseylittlemoo!

I've just been on a rather expensive activity holiday and they made no attempt to cater for my gluten intolerance at all despite being pre warned, my having an info sheet in the local language. I managed but it did make me quite anxious and parts of it weren't fun. The organisers also served the vegetarian guest meat at all the organised meals!

As a vegetarian of 30 years , I would expect to go to an event that has catered for me . I would find out the menu or inform them .
Vegetarianism has been around for many many years so is not hard to cater for .
Also people's allergies or non eating of items because of religion should taken into consideration .

We had this and reverted to a mixed buffet. The outrage at being deprived of a tiny bit of meat at lunch 3 - 4 times a year was just unbelievable. However, it reverted with 75% veggie because despite the outrage, when there are veggie/vegan foods, the bloody carnivores scoff it all and leave nothing for the vegans/vegetarians.

Buffets are easiest for this type of thing. Hummus and veggie sticks, place of cold meats, breads, small dishes of butter (and margarine for vegans) plates of cheeses, plates of fruits. Possibly some hot bowls such as new potatoes, warm falafel, chicken wings depending on size of the event and catering facilities.

i do agree a full sit down meal is trickier to cater to all but buffets make it easier as people can pick the bits they like/can have and leave the other bits without all the fuss of submitting dietary requirements/preferences

Same thing.

It one meal out of over 1000 in a year. Can't get worked up about it tbh.

But if you're choosing to restrict your diet, that's on you.

It's because allergies are a pain to cater for, with possibility of people getting ill and perhaps suing as a result.

People who choose to restrict their diet are easier in that way.

But meat eaters stating they don't want to eat vegetarian of vegan food are also restricting their diet.

I don't mind who I cater for tbh.

But you haven't shared examples of the types of "preferences" you are talking about- veggie/veganism, YABU, but I don't like eggs, tomatoes, onions etc (common key ingredients) YANBU
Otherwise you just sound like an arse who says "east my Sunday roast or sod off".

You aren’t really being clear about what you mean. You’re obviously trying to be cryptic, my guess is you’ve planned a wedding and had guests not like it. The cryptic nature makes me lean to YABU.

If planning something big where you don’t know most of the guests preferences, this is when you make sure there are some fairly neutral foods available - chicken legs, bread, jacket potatoes, plain salad. If planning something with a certain demographic in mind, then take into preferences so if you’re planning a large work event for Muslim colleagues don’t fill it with sausages and pork pie but if you’re planning for farmers then a ploughman’s is a great shout. If you planning a meal for the vegan society I would stay away from bacon butties but a large event for bricklayers bacon butties (with a vegan alternative) would probably go down quite well.

On weddings, you might love Indian food and so decide to hire Indian street food vans but that isn’t going to appeal to everyone so make a safe alternative available or go with a different option because your love for a food doesn’t trump guests comfort. If you want a wedding to just be about you, then you elope. Similarly if you picked your wedding meal to be something decisive like veal, you need a safe alternative.

If, however, you have picked a relatively safe meal or provided safe alternative and someone is complaining because it was turkey and not chicken then YANBU.

You’re changing from your initial post, OP. First it was people can’t expect to have their preferences catered for and it’s on them to manage, then not to have a menu ‘revolve’ around them, and not to have a menu ‘customised’. What is it?

Yeah vegan substitutes are gross, but the vegan items are often the only ones suitable for my DD who is allergic to dairy. It's pretty miserable for her.