Negging from Husband

[CakeCakePlease]

Only recently discovered this word - two examples I’ve noticed from (soon to be ex) -

’Considering you’re so old, you look great!’

’I love your short legs in those trousers.’

Probably many more examples if I think about it.

Have you ever been ‘negged’ (is that right?) by a partner or colleague/friend?

Never heard of that before but I've definitely been on the receiving end of it with a friend who always made passive aggressive comments. I'll try to think of some examples

I once asked DH if my butt looked the size of Kansas in some trousers I was trying on.

'No, Rhode Island or one of the smaller states'.

Earlier in the day I had told him not wear a black swimsuit on the beach in case Green Peace tried to refloat him so it seemed only fair.

We aren't normally like that though.

He's an arsehole OP.

It's 'pick up artist' (PUA) strategy

🤣 your comment was mean but very funny

It took me years to realise but I think my not so 'D' H has done this too, things like 'skinny legs' (not meant in a positive way), legs with no hamstrings/comment about not having hamstrings, tiny peppercorn eyes (he says it's meant to be cute but it feels negative), hair like Crystal Tips, little comments about my pouch following c-section and probably many more. He has stopped with it now but the hurt is still there and I can't forgive him for making me feel bad about my body. Sort of separated now and can't see things working out.

You'll be well rid of him, OP.

An ex said, "I have a lot of self-help books and I can help you work on yourself." Yeah, you can fuck right off with that.

The same charmer said stuff like,

• "That was really athletic. You don't look athletic at all."
• "You shouldn't have muscles bigger than your boyfriend's." (THEN GO TO THE GYM, YOU UNFIT FUCK.)
• "You would be beautiful if you (dyed hair, got eyebrows done, wore that)"
• "My mum was really surprised I'm going out with someone like you but I told her you're actually really nice."
• "My friend was really surprised when he found out you won the Essay Prize. You don't come over like that, you know, intelligent."

It was all low level stuff but it took me a while to realise he always made me feel like shit and as though I wasn't good enough.

@LastNight1Dreamt1WentToManderleyAgain never heard of PUA. Can you tell me more?