Do you throw birthday parties for your children

[thecherryfox]

YABU - I do
YANBU - I don’t

I guess I’m just curious really, I have just the one child in reception and he’s already been to 3 birthday parties. I’m a single parent so cannot afford parties for him, but I don’t want him to be the only child who doesn’t have a birthday party. Growing up, I never really had full on class parties, but more like selecting a few friends for cinema or bowling and pizza after or a sleepover etc. So I guess I’m just curious if you all do full on parties for your children each year?

There’s no obligation to have all class parties if you’d rather not.
Inviting a few of his friends round to yours is fine, but don’t not celebrate because you can’t afford all bells and whistles.

I had the whole class but was stressful. Pick a few kids and do something low key.

I feel a bit harsh if I say YABU because you have given a really good reason because you can't afford it. I would say YABU only if you said you hated throwing them and couldn't be bothered!
My DS is 10 now and I think going forward it will only be a small select group of friends, pizza, cinema or something like that as he has actually said he doesn't want anything big anymore. The last few years have been gaming parties, football parties, play area parties etc...it has been quite an expense tbh. I remember during lockdown it was his 6th birthday and it was just us, a cake and party games at home and he loved it. Even though I have been a sucker for it, I do think the pressure nowadays to throw massive event parties has gone way ott.

I voted YABU but maybe that's not what you meant - I have never done a whole class party but just invited either family plus a few kids (pre-school age) or around 10 kids (school age) to have a party at home or in the park, depending on weather.

What is your budget? I just did a class party for DS for £75. Literally just a hall, home made food and a football (10 a side).

I throw them, also a single parent, i budget for parties like I do for presents (I'm a low earner but appreciate some can't budget for presents or parties). Our local village hall is £30 for hire though and then you can just do music, party games and your own food so could something like that be an option if DC want one?

Been having parties with my 3 year old all through. Even in difficult times as I lost my job.

I had very few parties growing up. Never had a circle of friends. I don't want that for my little one. I want them to have a party , decorations , cake every year. Even if small.

Small parties. He's been to nursery since he was 8 months old when I joined work. So called his nursery "friends" for the first year and so on. First two were home parties with pizzas for adults. Last one was at a farm. Total expenditure this year £300 including lunch for adults. And spent £70 on top for the themed cake. But that's optional.

If you can’t afford it this year then don’t have one. Most people have around 10-12 guests rather than the whole class where I live but they certainly don’t have these bigger type of parties every year for their child.

Reception I did the whole class party but split the costs with another mum as the birthdays were the same week and we were both thinking of the same venue on the same day.

Y1 I think was just the boys in the class, then Y2 onwards it got smaller. One year we did ten pin bowling and they laid on a party buffet, another year it was Pizza Hut with about 6 kids in total.

Invite friends to yours for sandwiches and homemade cake, few party games and a party bag with haribo and a bubble mixture pot

I did do birthday parties, never the whole class but have done a range of things. Town Hall without of kids, siblings and a bouncy castle. 2 friends and the Cinema followed by pizza, sleepovers, birthday tea and bowling. Party food at home and games in the garden.

Kids don't really care about the cost or how many people, just feeling a bit special.

I have 2 DC & have done birthday parties of varying sizes for them both every year except during lockdown.
I have done whole class parties, but DCs go to a small school so it's not 30+ kids.
After 10 years though I'm done with village hall parties - too much effort & rarely saves much money. Sticking to venue parties with a smaller group of friends.

YABU to not count a small gathering with 3 guests in your house as a party! If you can't afford a class party, please don't. No one will notice.

Parties aren't really a thing in my DC's school mainly because of cultural reasons. We tried to have a whole class party for DD in Reception and I think 8 people out of 30 came. She was heartbroken but we tried again in Y1, same thing. She didn't want to try again after that.

She's in Y6 now and hasn't had one since, nor have any of her friends. DS is in Y2 and has never had one, neither have his friends. It's just not done.

We save the money and do something special as a family instead!

Yes I did from around age 3-4 until 11 I guess. Some were smaller than others. It does get expensive but at that age kids are so excited about parties, and start planning them months before. Doesn’t have to be huge or majorly expensive if do something at home.

Never done a whole class party but we do have parties for them. Usually between 8-15 kids depending on the activity they want to do. I guess maybe it's not a "party" more something like laser quest, gaming bus, climbing party etc.

Yes, but not whole class parties. Just the standard friends at home playing pass the parcel, sandwiches and cake and too many sweets.

You can do a party on a pretty tight budget.

I always threw them. Whole class parties were a bit stressful as a single parent trying to host and cut cake, and whatever else needed doing and actually my DD prefers the smaller parties as she got older. We always just booked a venue rather than attempt hall, party games etc to make it easier.

I would try to budget to take 3 children to soft play / the zoo / trampoline park for his birthday and get a meal deal at venue and a Colin Caterpillar Caterpillar cake (or the mini roll versions) for the gift bags

Sometimes, sometimes she does something more expensive per person with a smaller group or just best friend.

Not everyone had parties in Reception IME, maybe around 30%

Yes but I don't do whole class parties. DD1 doesn't want them and neither do I. We do smaller parties.

Parties, especially class parties, are BIG where we live and honestly there's a sharp uptick in invites DS receives to other kids parties when we've hosted one recently! So I do prioritise them and budget accordingly.

Great ideas upthread though for some ideas to do them on the cheap, I also love Instagram for this - so many party ideas from parents! Temu is great for little bits for party bags, and food can be cheap if you DIY it. Venue costs are generally stifling but it's definitely worth calling around/checking in with other parents where they're hosting for any bargains. If the birthday is during summer as well you can always do an outdoors theme at the park - or a year round 'we're going on a bear hunt' kinda trail in your local woods? :)

We do have a party every year for our kids usually at Softplay/ trampoline type venue but we can easily afford it. If money was tight it certainly wouldn't happen though. Do what u can afford. I only had a few parties as a kid and only one was at an external venue others were at home.

Depends on the school and the area about every kid having a party. My sil lives in very affluent area so every single kid has a party every year. The school my kids go to is a real mix, the catchment area is partly an affluent area further out and a poorer area where the school is. Generally maybe half the class have a 5th birthday party so there certainly is no expectation. As they get older it seems to be less and less invites or split into girls or boys.

My youngest is having a party in a few wks and she is the first party from her class so far. At nursery it was every other week so def more of an expectation.

I have three dc and barring covid they’ve each had a party every year. But… we’ve never done the whole class. Under 7 we did parties at home or occasionally at the park.

Just balloons and music, pass the parcel, musical statues, maybe craft and some home made cake. About 10 kids. They absolutely loved it. From around 7 we took smaller groups of kids out for an activity or (my least favourite) hosted sleepovers.

Kids love parties but they don’t need anything fancy or loads of friends. Just pick something you can comfortably afford and throw yourself in with enthusiasm.

Do what works for you and your budget. I did a party for my kids 5th birthdays after they started school for about 10 guests. Couldn’t afford to do the whole class. After that, we had parties for about 6-8 guests about every other year and usually at home. I just organized them so kids had a good time with traditional games and a couple of craft activities and they were cheap to do. By the age of 10, they just wanted some pizzas, a cake with movie on the tv.

DS had venue style parties until lockdown (age 6). After that I was a single parent on a budget so he had friends round with party games, piñata, lucky dip. He's coming up for 10 now and is planning who to invite and which games to play, while I wonder how much money I wasted pre lockdown!