Do you throw birthday parties for your children

[thecherryfox]

YABU - I do
YANBU - I don’t

I guess I’m just curious really, I have just the one child in reception and he’s already been to 3 birthday parties. I’m a single parent so cannot afford parties for him, but I don’t want him to be the only child who doesn’t have a birthday party. Growing up, I never really had full on class parties, but more like selecting a few friends for cinema or bowling and pizza after or a sleepover etc. So I guess I’m just curious if you all do full on parties for your children each year?

I did parties (venues, magicians etc) until my DD was 5. I found it very stressful, expensive & tiring & I don’t miss those days. For the last few years it’s been 4/5 friends to theme park, meal etc, it’s so much easier & cheaper!

With my first I always did large parties, I found them stressful.

With my other children, we have smaller parties... I also find this stressful 😬

I didn't grow up with much money as a child but even I had parties, usually small ones at home. So for me, it would be weird to not have parties for my own children.

That said, some of my kids' friends don't have parties and I don't think it's odd. It's a cultural thing... some families and/or cultures don't do birthdays/birthday parties.

You may find your child starts asking for parties though, and IMO it would be a bit mean to say no, unless there was a good reason.

No- not whole class parties anyway. I’ve hired a bouncy castle for my house just for my kids and their closest friends. I’ve also hired those teepee sleepover things for my sons and closest friends.
We have 5 kids and they have never really shown and interest in parties. We do make a big deal of birthdays- we have took them to Legoland, Disneyland, CBeebies land etc this year for their birthdays. But parties just aren’t our thing.

Do what works best for your family.

Genuine question when did this become a thing? I'm in my early 40s and there were two parties of other kids in primary school. I never had one because my parents couldn't afford it and even if they could they probably wouldn't. I just don't get this kids have to have a party every year. And it puts horrible pressure on people like the Op. Because for some people even "a few kids round for sandwiches" isn't doable. Some people literally don't have that money.

No. DS has a crap birthday and not many friends so we go to Center Parcs each year instead.

Personally I love a party so yes, but I know quite a few people who find it stressful so haven't ever done a whole class party.
In our school it's quite common to do joint parties, for sometimes even 3 or 4 kids together and then you can split the cost of the hall/activity (also good as means less weekends taken up with parties)
One of mine has a summer birthday and we have a picnic/games in the park.
Biggest hit is the (basic, supermarket) balloons

We always did big parties, whole class plus a few extras. We usually did organised things so it wasn’t stressful.

Having said that, the best one we ever did was a 6th bday where we did an old fashioned garden party with trestle tables down the length of the garden for the tea and a massive bouncy castle and slide as the only entertainment. It was lovely and a fraction of the cost of all the magician/ski slope/fun rings/climbing/pottery/rented venue etc etc type things we did.

We have a 7 year old, unfortunately he’s never had a proper birthday party. We just can’t afford it, even with reduced numbers.
instead we have a special day out for their birthday as a family (as we usually can’t afford that the rest of the year) and then once or twice we’ve met up with one friend outside of school at soft play etc as well (which we’ve paid entry for)

We always have a party but I couldn't manage the whole class - most I ever had was 19 and that nearly sent me over the edge!

If skint I would still do a house party with 5-10 kids as it is a nice thing to do imo. It doesn't have to cost much.

I did a whole class party for my daughter when she turned 4 - we'd just had our son and I guess I was feeling guilty as I drove myself crazy icing cupcakes at midnight the night before. Not even sure she had fun. Never did that again!

My kids have parties but sometime at home and never more than maybe 8-10 kids. My son has two friends who don't have parties - they have the 4 of them (he's in a tight group of 4 boys) and have pizza at their house or go bowling or whatever. I always send a gift and my son has a lovely time. Now they're older they all fit in one car so it's even easier!

I like marking occasions and so my kids do too so that's important to me - but that can happen in lots of different ways.

11 year old son. Had parties since he was 2, but only one class party when he was 5 I think. Other things have all been an activity with a small group.

Yes we do, DD has had 3 and we've hired halls and bouncy castle. It's expensive and stressful as we're in London, but she doesn't have many play dates so having lots of parties helps to mitigate that. I would hate hosting a party in my house and I'd rather pay to hire a hall though. About half the class do whole class parties (including us), so quite a few do smaller parties.

I'm 43 and from a poor background. We had parties every year until we turned 10. Mostly at home but one year I had a joint sports hall party with my brother.

Yes, I arranged parties for my (only) child. Full class in infants (22 kids in his class) and then smaller parties in juniors. The class parties were reasonably well attended and we could afford them.

As a kid I had no parties or celebrations, ever. Zero. Didn't even have birthday cake as standard. So making sure my DS didn't miss out on this was a priority for me. I wouldn't judge any parent who didn't though, you do what you can to make things nice for your dc. Making them feel special and treasured for themselves is doable without parties.

We didn’t. I could probably have hosted some kids at home but a) the kids weren’t really that bothered when they were in year 1 and 2 and b) I couldn’t be arsed with it. They went to so many swim/soft play/village hall parties organised by other mugs parents in the school year that I don’t think they would’ve have noticed if we’d done one or not.

It was only when they really started to form firm friendships in year 4 and 5 that we started to do low key activities like a trip to the cinema and McDonald’s etc.

This year DD isn't having a party, she's in year 1. In reception it was a few friends to a soft play. She only got invited to a couple so it isn't like everyone's doing whole class parties

Do you throw birthday parties for your children?

So I guess I’m just curious if you all do full on parties for your children each year?

These are two different questions.

Yes, all my dc had a birthday party each, from Reception until they chose different things in top Juniors.

But no, I've never thrown a whole class party in my life.

My dc usually had a few friends round for a party at home. There was the odd one at a soft play, but again, smaller numbers. We've had picnics and different things like that.

My son started reception last year and we had about 4 parties by this time last year, he's now in year 1 and we've had 0 party invitations since going back... I think most parents have given up ha!

I held a class party for my son in August and I did say that would be the first and last... surprising how stressful it becomes with people not telling you they're coming until the week of! I also thought I was being clever and hiring a hall and an entertainer, turned out very expensive! If you do hold one definitely go to a soft play as they work out half the price (well mine would have been!).

We had about 10 parties in reception (there's 24 in the class) so most parents don't throw one and no one will begrudge you of it!

I did them on a tight budget with a limited guest list. It was important for my child.

We did some whole class parties in a hall with bouncy castle etc or magician/clown but not every year. We had smaller parties of 8/10 kids - swimming, football, soft play, bowling, cinema, doughnuting at ski centre (5 kids so we've had a lot of birthdays!) Just do what you can afford - a few friends with a party tea and a few games at home is lovely and you don't have to spend a lot.

My daughter had an all class party (she’s in reception) and has been to several others, but I’m pretty certain there will still be more kids in her class who don’t have an all class party than those who do. I have to admit I’ve rarely been gladder for anything to be over.

Why call the parents mugs?

Yet you still took your child to the party they paid for and accepted their hospitality. What a bad attitude.

The norm here seems to be whole class in P1, all the girls/boys in P2 and TBD in P3.

But there have been a good few DC who haven't done this and I've heard literally zero judgement.

Your DS will remember you making a big fuss of his birthday - that doesn't necessarily need to be expensive.

Ds1 was 21 this week and I was thinking about this. He is going out with friends tonight and tomorrow I am hosting lunch for family including his girlfriend’s parents.

When he was on reception, especially for the autumnborn children it seemed quite common to have whole class parties but not everyone did. By year one it was smaller groups.

ds3 was 15 recently and we took him and some friends to do an escape room and McDonalds.

It’s never unreasonable to not have a party you can’t afford. I would just not rule out inviting a couple of close friends round to help celebrate.

I think that when McDonald's parties started to take off, in the early 2000's and then we had whacky warehouse etc offering parties. Before that people who had big families etc would hire the community/church hall.
@thecherryfox could you save for his 5th birthday and look into local halls/bouncy castle hire? Most of my GC friends have had class parties on there 5th year. My eldest GC picks a extended weekend holiday over a party. The youngest only wants a party. We all chip in instead of presents.