Just curious what’s the common age for 4th baby

[Shaz83]

Hi just curious what is the common age for last baby 4th or 5th?

I’m sick of people saying oh u get less time with your children when your an older parent what age is an older parent these days??

Who is saying this?

I've literally never heard this said in RL and not really on here either.

DH grew up in an area where they tend to be parents in their 20s - several of his cousins are nearer 40 or over 40 when they became first time parents. The female cousin got some comments but nothing like this - because people can die at any age and most people fully understand this.

Honestly if you have people saying this to you - tell them to stop being so ridiculous - and think about who you are socializing with.

Yes I understand that! I’m just saying people shouldn’t say that because it’s not nice to hear! Every loving mother would want long enough with there children. When I say I don’t understand I mean it in a way like why would people make a negative comment it’s not exactly nice to hear. Is it….

I have heard it on net mums. I typed in is late 30’s too old and it come up with net mums saying that… oh if u have a baby at that age you will get less time etc….

I was 35 when had my 4th child

I was 44 - my DC was at primary school with people with older parents and some already had nieces and nephews.
As for having less time with you they have their own lives once adults plus being from a large family have siblings and their children

So on a different site with a very different demographic - people behind a screen have said it about a theoretical situation and you had to search for it not even you posting - so why the fuck do you care ?

Since becoming a mother I've been subject to many unwanted and unasked opinions - most mothers are and thanks to non mother on here I know many women who aren't mothers are as well.

Live your life as you see fit and given less credence to others opinions - you'll probably also be happier if you stop googling opinions to get offended about.

I only know 2 people who’ve had that many dc.

One had her 4th at 45 (very much unplanned but they are quite religious).

One had her 5th in late 30s. She met her husband, got married and had 5 babies in 10 years, my hat is off to her!

The members of netmums in general are different to here, not least because they don't know how to spell you, but even they are simply stating a fact, how is it upsetting to read that every day you live you are nearer dying

You’ve got to ignore it. People always, always have opinions on this and ultimately it is nobody’s business. You’re in good health it seems, and in a position financially and space wise to have another,

Excluding extreme end of the spectrum parenting ages, both young and old, I think being a good and involved parent matters most than whether you’re 25 or 45 doing the school run.

SIL had #4 when she was 35 and will be 37 when #5 is due

My siblings were in their late thirties to early forties.

After spending ages hanging up socks for the three of us I'm thankful I don't have washing for 6 people.😥

4th and final age 34

I was 35 nearly 36 when my 4th child was born

Understandable, 3 children at any one time enough for me, we’ve got a large family but the older ones are adults so it’s on the 3 younger ones doing laundry for

must be very hard

A large family lots if work but lots of joy too and had most of my children 4-5 years apart so not so overwhelming.

What makes you want to have 4,5 or more children? Presumably you are well off so you can afford big houses with each child having their own room, 7 seater car, huge food bills etc.

I have had 4 kids in just over 7 years (first when I was 23 and final at 30 in 2019)... and, at the risk of sounding like a knobhead, the honest answer is I am just very good at it. Practically in terms of falling pregnant easily, having easy pregnancies - never sick, simple vaginally deliveries, pain free breastfeeding until aged 2 each time - so nothing to put me off or make me think twice about my own health, etc. We are not rich but met very young, getting on the housing ladder in 2007 when a 3 bed semi was £90k in our area; we have gradually upgraded with small windfalls and with home improvements and it has taken 3 or 4 houses moves to get where we are. We have plenty of space - our house is technically a 7 bed but we only use 5 as bedrooms.

We both don't really have careers - as in our jobs arent a calling or a vocation but just something to do until our tea is ready - but we are reasonably well-paid (not by MN standards! £65k a year between us) and quite easy jobs so are quite time rich. We really wanted 4 kids and really enjoy having them. We have one set of local grandparents, fairly local, but they don't do loads of childcare, just a school run and teatime a week - at its peak they did one 6 hour day a week which we were grateful for but didn't need. But crucially I (especially important as the primary carer imo) am well supported emotionally by lots of friends I have known since childhood, and we as.a couple just really like each other and get on well.

Our life is busy and fun and yes, expensive, but it is not especially hard work. The things that have been tricky - death, redundancy, illness - are tricky with one kid or ten, and our four wonderful kids are a.comfort and a joy (and yes, a worry, but a powerful and purposeful worry if that makes sense. When things are bad we keep going and make changes for them.)

It is totally different strokes for different folks and in the same way I look at people with hard jobs (as an example, doctors) and think "What on earth do you get out of doing that?", I know my life choices are baffling to just as many.

Aww that’s nice you seem like you got it together well done 🙂

It's more luck than judgement to be honest 😂

What you mean?

That we've stayed together, that we've stayed healthy, that we grew up in an inexpensive area, that friends didn't move away. We've been so lucky to be able to prioritise what really mattered / matters to us. I do not take for granted how my life has panned out... but I digress, I was more trying to illustrate that having more than 2 or 3 kids is just a personal choice like any other (and not get dragged into putting an age limit on any kind of life milestones as all our lives are a series of Sliding Doors moments... If I'd snogged a different fella than DH at the end of term BBQ in 2005 my life might look completely different!)

Maybe I’m just looking for reassurance to say having a baby at 40 doesn’t impact the child given how long you get with them… if that makes any sense.. I’m not here to cause drama I’m just a deep thinker who thinks too much into things and like to read other people’s opinions on it. That’s all…

I was definitely a ‘one and done’ mother, but I wouldn’t pay whoever is saying that to you any attention. Most women in my social circles are only just having their first baby at 36/37 and up! None of them seem concerned about a lack of time. In theory, if you had it at 40 the child would still be grown and out of the house before you even retire!

Average life expectancy for women in the UK is around 80, so if you have a baby at 40 you can expect your child to lose their mum at 40, whereas if you have a child at 20, their mum might live until they were 60.

However, it's only an average. My dad was 26 when I was born and had a fatal heart attack at 47. He had a pretty unhealthy lifestyle as well as being unlucky, and maybe in a different life if he hadn't had children in his 20s he'd have looked after himself better and lived longer.

Conversely, a girl I went to school with had a baby when she was 29, with her husband who was about 45 at the time. But he was a semi-professional cyclist and extremely fit and well; and he'd also built up a solid career so they were extremely well provided for.

So you can look at the averages, but they're only averages, and everyone's individual situation will be different.