Not even a card!!

[Abitmiffed1]

I recently got married and we had a gorgeous day with friends and family. My sister was matron of honour and her children were page boys. We didn’t ask for gifts as we are a bit older and have everything we need, however most of our guests were very generous and gave us cards/gifts/money etc. Everyone that is apart from my own sister - I was shocked to find that we didn’t even have a card from her and her family. My sister can be quite selfish at times and thinks the world revolves around her, however I feel this is another level - who doesn’t get their own sister a card on their wedding day? Every single other guest - even our evening guests came with a card. I thought maybe something had got lost so I messaged to ask her but she gave me some rubbish excuse about how she had accidentally taken it home with her and she would post it to us the next day - it has still not arrived. AIBU to be upset by this?

Thank you but please read the thread as I didn’t directly ask her where her card was - there were cards left on the table with money in and I initially asked as I was worried that a card had been lost amongst all the moving around etc. We are quite open with each other so believe me she would have no qualms about calling me out on something like this 😂. Maybe I am in the wrong and I’m being over -sensitive but I just couldn’t attend a wedding and not bring a card - I think it’s is really bad manners

So you asked her indirectly 🤷🏻‍♀️
What’s the difference? You still trawled through the envelopes to make sure there was one from everybody, and then followed up on the one which was missing.

If there had been nothing from one of your other guests, would you have questioned them on it, too, just in case it had gotten lost? (What are the chances?)

I wouldn't give it any head space. You sound a bit needy to me.

pimplebum · Today 19:52
Bit shocked you asked her where here card is !
maybe she genuinely took it home she was busy and had kids after all
it may not be her top priority to post it to you fast, just a card
Thank you but please read the thread as I didn’t directly ask her where her card was - there were cards left on the table with money in and I initially asked as I was worried that a card had been lost amongst all the moving around etc. We are quite open with each other so believe me she would have no qualms about calling me out on something like this 😂. Maybe I am in the wrong and I’m being over -sensitive but I just couldn’t attend a wedding and not bring a card - I think it’s is really bad manners

I read your tread carefully. You asked her about the card to the point she had to reply and give you and explanation/ lie/ excuse

you asked !
she replied!

I do agree it’s etiquette to bring a card and you did for hers so bit odd that she didn’t so I would be inclined to believe her

We made a list so that we could make sure that we thanked everyone individually for what they gifted us - because that is good manners. It wasn’t to “check off” who had and hadn’t sent us a card/gift 🙄

Some people are just like this op, don't dwell on it. My husband's brother didn't give anything on our wedding day either, no card, nothing and to add insult to injury he only attended because we paid for his taxi fare!

You were still able to pinpoint who hadn't made the list, op 😂

That's extremely selfish of your sister and I imagine that she is jealous of you currently being in the limelight while hers has been long forgotten. I would be very upset about this tbh. If I were you I'd cool off on the contact with her , you don't need that negativity in your life. Also what planet are people on that they think this is ok? You completely went out of your way paying for everything. What an ungrateful b*h!!

Are you my sister? 🤣

I wouldn't expect a card from a sister or any of my immediate family for my wedding and I'm 100% I didn't get any from my 4 sisters or 2 brothers. I'd actually think it odd. Cards for my wedding is what people who don't know me well would give.

No, I’m not any of your other guests either.
Not sure what’s so hilarious about being this grabby, tbh?

I actually remember a missing point from the story about my husband's brother. MIL bought him a card to give to us 'because she knows what he's like' and apparently he said no we don't do cards and binned it. You couldn't make it up with him 😂all he had to do was sign his name! He also doesn't acknowledge our children's birthdays in any way yet we always give his card, gift and money.

I didn’t give my brother a card, we were strapped for cash at the time (they would never have known this) and I didn’t want to give a card with no money. For weeks and months I kept saying’oh I must give you your card’ and then finally I was buying gifts for a new baby instead. I really regret it but we just had zero to spare

First-world problem...

oh lighten up! I seem to have hit a nerve that’s all. Not at all being grabby, I just think it’s bad manners and making light of it - I’m sure mine and my sisters relationship is not over because of it!

If your sister got wind you were being petty and slagging her off on the internet for not buying you a wedding card.Your relationship might be over.

Quite…

Am I the only one confused here? When you say a card do you actually mean money? Is that it?

I think you're being ridiculous. So glad I eloped if this is the fucking nonsense that weddings being about

You’re not being unreasonable op. At all. The idea that your own sister couldn’t be arsed to go and get a card and write a few nice words on it is inexcusable. Some people are utterly selfish. And I can’t believe the snarky comments on here, maybe they are the same thoughtless and lazy ilk.

Maybe some people don't give a fuck about getting cards.

We are always extremely generous with gifts for weddings, birthdays, Xmas etc.

However I don’t think I got my brother or SIL cards or presents when they got married. Not out of lack of care - we speak constantly, they know how happy I am/was for them and there was nothing that a card would symbolise that my joy at the occasion didn’t.

Equally don’t think we received cards / gifts from them, or bridesmaids.

OP I think you're using the card (or lack thereof) as a proxy for something. Your sister was there on your day and therefore presumably did spend time, effort and attention on you. So what is still lacking for you in your relationship with her that the failure to send a card represents? I say this kindly. Introspect and try to work out what symbolism the card has for you, and therefore what exactly she has failed to do for you that is represented by the card. It could be money, general consistent care or attention, thoughtfulness, etc. I think you need to work out what this card is standing for, for you.

I actually have my bridal party gifts. Also the last thing I was concerned with after my wedding was who didn't and didn't give a gift or card