To think this is unusual about 3 yo child

[Dorynnemo]

Posting here for traffic
I have a DS who has just turned 3. We have tried taking him to toddlers football club, swimming and toddlers karate classes since he was 2 nearly 2.5 years old. He seems to be distracted and unable to follow instructions given by the instructor at all of these activities. We kept taking him to several classes but he seems to be not playing or enjoying it so we stopped swimming and football. Now he is going to only karate where there are similar age kids who seem to be able to follow the instructions just fine but he seems to be distracted and wants to keep looking at other kids and surrounding than following what he is being asked.
Me and DH are slightly worried about his lack of attention, his speech is fine with his age and he goes to preschool where they say he is perfectly fine and is able to follow what's being asked. I want to hear if any parents had similar experiences and what they did about it.
Am I AIBU to be worried and also appreciate any suggestions?

He’s still a toddler. Totally normal.

I don't know any 2 year olds capable of following such structured classes. Most 2 year olds are doing sensory groups and stay and play etc.
I think your son sounds perfectly developmentally appropriate

He’s only just turned three! You need to chill out

Sounds completely normal.
Focused groups like this for toddlers must be a fairly recent thing. 15-20 years ago we had tumble tots that was basically a free for all with a tiny bit of direction!
Don’t expect too much of him, let him be.

Also, he doesn't follows the instructions we give at home and we have to keep negotiating with him to get things done like meal times and other things like dressing up etc before preschool. He tries to get his way, else he keeps crying and we try to maintain boundaries. DH is more strict about boundaries while I sometimes give in as I was very exhausted with pregnancy and then now a newborn and sleepless nights, but I am getting more strict about maintaining boundaries.

My son was the same at a toddler football class. They run around like a herd of cats and you'll be lucky if any of them actually kick a ball. It's a money spinner for the companies and the kids won't get anything useful out of it until they're at least 5! Your son sounds completely normal for a 3 year old!

He's 3.
He doesn't need any of that.
He's at preschool - that's all the formal activities he needs at the moment.

Because he is only 3. Again, totally normal.

His too young..

He’s only tiny, don’t stop taking him
swimming! No one her can guarantee your child won’t have extra needs but a 2-3 year old not wanting to follow a structure when he’s playing with a football or in a swimming pool is completely normal development.

I don't think it's unusual at this age. My son is the same age and he does engage with the classes most of the time but will sometimes have sessions where he just refuses to listen and do what's being asked. He's much better in the classes that he's obsessed with (swimming and football), the ones he has mixed feelings about are where he doesn't participate as well.

Our Tumble Tots class leader said it usually takes about a whole term (as in, not a half term) of classes before they start to really understand how to participate properly and remember the routines etc. Before that it can be really up and down.

I took mine to a toddler football class and she refused to even look at a football the entire time 😂

I also took her to a toddler gym class and as soon as she went in the class where I didn't have to be present she was much better, I think sometimes the presence of a parent somehow puts them off from listening.

A three year old that doesn't follow instructions?

Isn't that EVERY 3 year old?!

I'd say that really normal for some children of his age. The ones who can sit and concentrate might have been attending longer and be use to the routine or are just more pre disposed to that behaviour.

What's his concentration like at home? How long can he do an activity for? I'd practice at home building concentration. And I assume pre school is doing things like circle time.

I'd let him do extra curriculars if he is enjoying them and not disrupting the session.

Your son is behaving like a typical 3 year old. Mine were the same as him at his age and ended up as kids who always listened to teachers at school. Instead of making yourself and him miserable, lay off the formal classes and try once he’s older. He will get more out of the classes and will understand the need to listen better. Structured classes at age 3 are a money making scheme for the parents’ benefit. He will be fine doing “free play” stuff like going to the pool with you or his dad.

This age there is such a huge variety in their development.

Some kids have great speech, some great gross motor skills, so,e great fine motor skills and some great social skills.

Very rarely will you find a 3yo who's great at everything - they have limited capacity so they tend to be great at one of them.

What you need to do is find the activity that they can manage for the skills they have.

Karate probably won't be full of the great speakers - it'll be those good at gross motor skills and the ability to imitate motions.

Keep him going if he enjoys it or look at something where his ability to communicate well is important.

Completely normal!

My son didn’t follow instructions in football or swimming until he was 5. He’s still pretty hit and miss now at 6 😂😂

The poster who said they are like a herd of cats are completely right! 😂

I wouldn’t have taken mine to any classes at that age as they’d have just got distracted and it would have been a waste of money. He’s so young still

I wouldn’t bother with classes until 5. Before then, it’s more for the parents.

Toddler clubs are for parents to get out not the toddler

DD and the other children in her Mummy and Me ballet class spent more time licking the mirrors than they did doing 'good toes, naughty toes'.

Any club you child starts as a toddler and continues a 6 year old will catch up within a month if they start the sport in the same age group as your now older DC. With perhaps the exception of very specific sports that rely solely on extreme flexibility like rhythmic gymnastics.

Haha show me a toddler who follows instructions 😂

He’s 3. He should be playing, climbing, exploring different textures, dancing, singing, walking through leaves and puddles. Years and years ahead for classes, no 3 year old needs karate lessons.

Its irritating but normal, our just turned three year old has recently started ‘dance’ classes, I can’t decide if she doesn’t listen to a single thing, or if she does and purposely does the exact opposite thing.

He enjoys reading books with me and we read almost 10 books a day, he likes listening to me reading and looking at the pictures in the books. He also likes listening to stories or nursery rhymes on Alexa. He is more into books and reading. Then he can sit for hours with me, reading and discussing stories.

You are describing a toddler.