My third son recently got married. I was the one who hired the hall, brought all the decorations (everything from chair covers to table cloths), brought the buffet dinner (and cooked it) I contributed to a "party bus" to take us from the town hall to the venue. I even brought my son his suit. The brides family brought her dress and went on the honeymoon with the couple. (While I babysat their children) I had recently lost my father, and was dealing with his estate (something that I am still contending with some 6 months later) so my stress levels were beyond my "norm" (though I am not making any excuses). The night before the wedding my son came to my house in the early hours of the morning (I was up to my eyeballs making sausage rolls, something that he loves). We ended up arguing, needless to say that there was alcohol involved. A certain comment from my son really hurt though. He was eating the things I was cooking and I had asked him not to. Then I said: "I am working hard here.. what has your mother in law done"
To which he replied "She gave us x (amount of money) for our honeymoon"
Up until the afternoon of the wedding I vowed I would not be attending. I was furious. Then a friend had reminded me that my daughter in law was not going to understand what had happened and with about half hour to "spare" I relented. (After all up to that point I considered that we had a very good relationship) I was not the happiest on the day though. I was tired, and deeply hurt by the comments my son had made. Things also took a turn for the worse, with the daughter in laws mother acting as though it was "her day". This did infuriate me. She had accused me of taking her phone during a sit down lunch, we were both signing as witnesses and she snatched the pen from my hand so she could "pose" and several little things left me thinking "what the hell have I done" Fast forward to the time after the wedding. I sounded off to another one of my sons and his partner afterwards. The partner was the maid of honour, and during the honeymoon was constantly on the phone to the couple. She repeated my sounding off to the bride. They returned home, and I was "summoned" to their home. My son would not talk to me.. he stormed off and his wife had gotten it into her head that I was the most awful of person, that her mother was not a bad person (therefore I must be) and basically has "cut me off". I never so much as got a thank you for everything that I had done. Fast forward. Now another one of my sons is getting married (the one that I sounded off to). His intended is the bride and the maid of honour is my daughter in law. Her mother has been invited and though I have said I will sit down and talk to her it appears as though she has not responded. In the meantime there is contentions in the family, and I am disliking it. I am not sure why she is being invited, but it is there wedding. (They have cut me out of any preparations..) I have been given a colour scheme to wear, and that is about it. I feel as though I am "just a guest" though it is my son getting married, it seems the bride is favouring the maid of honours mother. (Planning the engagement party around her, the day of the wedding in line with the days she has off of work) I keep asking my son when is he coming over to visit and it seems he keeps brushing me off.. (before the new year..!) As I have said I am willing to sit down and talk to the woman, but I will not apologise for the way that I felt, I am not being invalidated like that. Currently I feel like a "leper" Am I just being over sensitive over the whole thing?