When can you leave teenagers home alone overnight?

[Lanzarotelady]

So my son is 16, I am not even thinking about it at the moment but when he is 17 I am thinking of leaving him overnight so my husband and I can have a night away?

Legally, morally can we do this if he is under 18?

He is sensible - knows how to get help - we have good neighbours who we would let know etc, to be fair as long as as there's wifi and snacks he wouldn't know we weren't there!

Or am I totally overthinking this?

It's fine.

I was 16, almost 17, the first time parents left me home alone. It was in the middle of my GCSE exams, and they went to a cousins wedding. I think it was 2, maybe 3 nights. I didn't enjoy it, found it quite lonely, but I survived!

At 17, my parents went away for 4 days and I had to drive my 11 year old brother to school.

Your 16 year old will be fine.

Yes - totally fine

I left my DS alone overnight at 15 ( was only an hour away)

it all depends on the individual.

id love to know how 20% voted against ?

It depends on your child. I left my daughter at 16 but I wouldn’t have left my son. Totally different kids, one trustworthy, one absolutely not trustworthy. 🤷

Depending on the child, anywhere between 16 and 40...

In the real world, people have to work. My DS was a latch key kid from age 11, I'm a single parent and needed to earn money for life's luxuries like bills.

In the old days it was 16, these days it is 17/18. You can’t live on your own until adulthood, you are still a minor under the age of 18. Technically children can have children before then, but it’s not ideal and they usually need an enormous amount of support from parents or ss.
Start slowly op and build up ready for adulthood, I would consider inviting a sensible friend to stay with them.

That's rubbish, I was pregnant at 17 and had no help from parents or SS. People just coddle their kids too much nowadays.

I am not advocating that being a teen parent is a good thing but suggesting the average 16 year old can't cope overnight alone us ludicrous.

Many can’t, it’s not lubricious, it’s fact. Many teens have mh issues and have delayed maturity because of the pandemic. To dismiss such concerns is not good parenting. Weighing up what is in the best interests of the child and their unique development is the way to go.

Yes this is it, I wouldn't do it if he wasn't happy, he is getting more confident, 6 months ago, I would have said no, but making him do early starts etc and lock up has been good for him

I'd say 16, but couldn't have left my daughters as they'd always have had a party (or a "small gathering" )

My ds is 16 and I can leave him alone now. (although not if he's required to get up for school the next day).

@Artistbythewater I think that a 16-year-old would have to be pretty unwell not to be able to cope alone for one night.

14 is fine depending on the kid - what sort of sheltered helpless adult do you want them to be?

They have delayed maturity because their parents can’t let them make any decisions on their own or take risks you mean.

At 16 it's definitely fine unless they can't be trusted to behave. In my country it's quite normal for teens to move out at 16 to go to high school in a different town or city, and live completely on their own (perhaps with financial support from parents but certainly some will be without even that) so it's wild to be that someone would even question a night alone at that age

Risk taking goes well beyond an overnight stay alone hopefully!!

And children should encouraged to make informed decisions well before teen years.

But I thought you said that “Many teens have mh issues and have delayed maturity because of the pandemic.”@Artistbythewater ?

As the parent of teens, I agree that the pandemic did affect some teenagers for a while, but amongst my children’s peers, they all seem to have recovered now, even those who were severely affected.

19 years 364 days, if you really must

Children that are well can be given plenty of freedom and responsibility. It’s better to be more cautious of those that are struggling with their mh or lacking maturity. It’s impossible to give a blanket age in a nutshell.

My parents went on holiday for a fortnight when I was 15. I loved the independence. A night from 16 is fine!

My parents also went away on holiday for just over 2 weeks when I was either 16 or 17. It was fine. I didn't even throw a party.

No, you either go into a Mum and Baby unit, or your own parent etc is giving residency of both of you. SS can go as guarantor on a property, but both would be under a CIN plan for a while.

A 16yr old is old enough to look after himself for a night or two. It’s probably not him but the friends he may tell may think oh brilliant party time.😁 It does and has happened that friends invite themselves ,and all hell breaks out 😀But only you know your son and his friends , so go with your gut feeling. But yes I would leave my son for a few nights.

i know this is old but I agree and just don’t get that either.
How do parents expect their children to be adults who can cope in this world? I want my children to be able to live their lives confidently without me having to baby them throughout. These apron strings need cutting 🤣
I was working abroad as an au-pair at 16 in sole charge of a 2 week baby and people are questiong if they can leave a teen for a night. I’d be concerned if my child couldn’t manage that🤦🏻‍♀️