When can you leave teenagers home alone overnight?

[Lanzarotelady]

So my son is 16, I am not even thinking about it at the moment but when he is 17 I am thinking of leaving him overnight so my husband and I can have a night away?

Legally, morally can we do this if he is under 18?

He is sensible - knows how to get help - we have good neighbours who we would let know etc, to be fair as long as as there's wifi and snacks he wouldn't know we weren't there!

Or am I totally overthinking this?

We left our 15, 14 and 12 year old overnight fir the first time a few minths ago. Stayed in a hotel that was 45 minutes away. Ordered them a takeaway so no cooking. We have a ring doorbell and cameras around our house ( very safe area but DH is an Electrician).

Grandparents if needed live around the corner. Kids all have mobiles. They each had a chore to do, one to feed and look after the cats, the other to lock all doors and close windows and the other one to clean up after the takeaway. All went great and they were delighted with being trusted and having the house to themselves.

Our 16 year old niece is currently home alone for a few days while her parents are on holiday and her older sister has also gone away. We're close by and good friends of her Parents are even closer.

Depends on the individual though. Niece is more likely to wreck the garden playing football than wreck the house with a party.

My 18 year old has never been alone overnight in our house, although she's actually babysat over night for someone else! The opportunity just hasn't come up. We went away for 10 days to the other side of the world when the kids were 17, 15, 13 and the eldest suggested they stay at home alone. We said no and had my parents stay. Now they're 14, 16, 18 I would leave them overnight if the ocassion arose but probably still not for a whole holiday.

I’m just working up to this with dd 16. It’s more about whether she will feel ok with it and not scared. She’s perfectly able otherwise and we have neighbour she could call in etc

If your last sentence has any basis in fact then they really need to raise the age of consent to match whatever age you are deemed able to be responsible for your own baby.

Depends on how sensible they are and if they’re happy with it, really. Our 15 year old doesn’t like being in the house on his own at night so goes and sleeps at MILs if we go away. If it weren’t for that we’d probably be happy to leave him for a night or two.

This is so refreshing to see people being pragmatic about leaving kids at home. So many times over the years, I have seen people pearl clutching over the idea of leaving 16 year olds home alone, let alone any younger. As a result, I have been tying myself in knots over what to do with 15 year old DS for a night or two. He is very happy to be left but I had 'the fear'.

i think the 90s fear of a crazy teen party is overblown. Most teens these days are far too smart to do that. Also the ring doorbell informs Dh of all comings and goings in real time. We did bust dd2 wearing an outfit we told her was inappropriate but took a view on that !

I'd say 17 is fine, but I left home at 17 and lived abroad, long before the advent of reliable internet access, so opinions / experiences may vary 😊

My dickhead son who had just been permanently excluded from school refused to come on a family holiday a month or two after his 16th birthday.
My husband was very uncertain about leaving him but I said that I was going and taking our youngest as I needed a break from his twattery.
We went to Portugal for a week and had a lovely time. When we got back, the house was still standing and according to our neighbours there had been no parties.
My other more sensible kids have also been left at 16. Seems to be the point at which they like their independence.

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) says:

• children under 12 are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time
• children under 16 should not be left alone overnight
• babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone

gotta say I find the idea of a 15yo and a 12yo alone overnight really quite frightening

I personally would say at 16 plus, a kid should be responsible enough to be left alone for one night. The only concern I'd have is if they decided to throw a massive party. I lived away from home at 16 in a student house. So I'd say it should be fine.

I won’t leave them under 16. I would leave my 15yo with my 17yo but not alone. Even though she’s desperate for me to!

That’s just guidance there’s no actual law saying you can’t leave a sensible 15 year old for a night or two. Teens are so babied these days. Land that helicopter!

Frightening in what way? Some 15 year olds are very mature and some are not. They don’t suddenly become sensible adults on their 16th birthday do they? Growing up and becoming self sufficient is a long process that involves doing things for the first time and being trusted to make decisions for themselves and the best person to judge when that should be is the person who knows the child best - their parents.

There is no law. But if you leave a 15 yo and something goes wrong, you’re responsible. And if you leave a younger dc with them, you are responsible not the 15yo. It’s a risk I’m not prepared to take. Plus I know my dc better than you do. The age at which they’re ready varies quite a bit!

I think it's the thought of a 15 yo having to be responsible for a 12 yo.
In the event of something horrible happening (unlikely but it happens) I would hate to think of my 15 yo feeling responsible for...I don't know, getting them both out of a fire, handling a medical emergency (or just anything medical) for the 12 yo makes me feel uneasy.
Alone for a while maybe, but overnight....no.

Thank you all for your responses
He was 16 in August, he is quite capable of getting himself up and out to college in a morning and coming home and making himself a simple tea and locking up etc
It would only be for one night to start with then maybe longer, he is sensible, we have neighbours on hand and our eldest daughter who lives 10 mins away.

But the ops lad isn’t responsible for a 12 year old is he so why is that relevant?

Sounds fine to me op did this recently with 16 and one week old dd left her for a school night as I had messed up half term holiday dates. She was totally fine and I think felt pleased we trusted her.

The discussion about the 12 yo is about someone else's situation. I was responding to that.

With my 15yo he knows I won't leave him for long periods unless I can trust him to contact neighbours or local friends if he needs help. He's awkward about doing so, but that's the deal. If won't be back say until 2am, or I'm a long drive away I will make sure I have a local friend 'on call' - just in case.

We’ve left DS (16) alone overnight recently while we had a night away with friends (we met up for an event an hour away and stayed over at a hotel afterwards). It was fine, he hung out with a friend on Saturday afternoon and I suspect that he played online with his friends late into the night. 😂.

We did let our immediate neighbors know and they kindly offered to be his emergency contact if he was worried about anything. He also had the dog fur company.

As long as you know that your DS won’t do anything daft, I’d go for it.

Irs fine if you trust him, he's sensible and HE is happy about it too.

I mean if you're asking legally....there is no legal minimum age limit for leaving a child on their own.

I was brought up to be very independent and I did the same with my children.