BF views on Trump

[Itsbeenalongtimee]

Had a debate last night with bf about the US election before waking up to this morning's news. He has declared he is happy Trump has won. He has been clear he doesn't want any more kids. So I asked him what would happen if we lived in the US and I got pregnant with a baby he didn't want. His response was that we would just travel to another state for an abortion since it's state law not federal. We have been together for years but I wonder if this is the biggest red flag that you should run from that he supports this verdict?

I don't know..
My partner is also a Trump supporter. I can't say it spills massively into our personal lives. I find these hypothetical questions are unhelpful, really. Especially in our situation when we live in the UK and don't have to deal with the daily consequences of this election.
I would find it much more of a red flag if your partner was anti-choice but he obviously isn't.

Depends how politically aware he is in general. Is he the type of person to simply not think about things very deeply? If not, then that’s who he is and you either don’t value that in a partner or you do. If he does and still aligns with Trump’s ethos then your values may be misaligned – only you can say if that’s a dealbreaker for you.

You really need to accept that people can have different views to you and that doesn’t make them a bad person. It’s called being grown up

Although saying that, I’d be super suspicious of any man supporting Harris, Beta male would be the polite way of putting it

My husbands a Trump supporter but is against abortion for the sake of it wanting another kid (which he demonstrated by not wanting me to have an abortion when I got pregnant by accident despite us not really wanting g more kids)

If he's clear he doesn't want anymore kids why doesn't he go for a vasectomy then instead of expecting you to have an abortion? All these men supporting Trump are happy to take away women's rights to bodily autonomy but won't take any responsibility for actual permanent birth control themselves.

What the actual fuck?
Men are lesser/weak/Beta because they support a woman?

I despair at the state of the world. People really hate women.

Wow.

Every single man I know supports Harris and believes Trump is a dangerous, delusional, racist, sex offending criminal who hates women. And you think them believing that is a bad thing?

Beta male? Are you by any chance American?

Haven’t the state abortion changes happened under Biden or am I confused? (Possible)

my understanding is that Obama could have changed the position at a federal level but didn’t?

im not saying trumps not. A Nightmare for women!

just trying to understand…

Yes, Roe vs Wade being overturned happened 2 years ago during the Biden administration but he disagreed with the supreme court decision and said he would do all he could to restore it but that he would need a congress who supported the right to choose.

It's a very complicated matter.

Haven’t the state abortion changes happened under Biden or am I confused? (Possible)

It changed in 2022 - done by the Supreme Court, which ruled that states can decide for themselves how (and indeed whether) abortion services are provided, thus ending it as a federal ruling

So access depends on which state you live in. But there is nothing to prevent a woman travelling for an abortion.

Trump is, from what he's said, not going to do anything to change it from being a state level issue

Trump's Supreme Court judges overturned Roe vs Wade and the Republicans are the ones who, at State Level, are removing abortion rights which will most lkely accelerate with a Republican Senate and Trump in the White House.

Personally, I could not be in a relationship with a Trump supporter. But it depends on how important this is to you. For me, even beyond his policies, I can't understand how anyone would be okay with a man who has been found guilty of multiple crimes including sexual assualt and fraud should be in charge of the most powerful country in the world and anyone who thinks he should is, frankly, not very smart or very nice.

Edited to add - Brett Kavanagh, one of Trump's supreme court judges involved in overturning Roe v wade was also guilty of rape. But that didn't hurt his chances of being named to the Surpreme Court either.

I couldn't be in relationship with a Trump supporter, but I guess it depends on how far your views differ from his.

I hate this idea that it's a 'difference of opinion' and that grown-ups can/should overcome it. For me at least, it's a hell of a lot more than just a difference of opinion, it's a difference of core moral values, and I couldn't be with someone, or raise children with someone, whose core values differed from mine that much.

Wow! Does the same apply to Kemi in the UK? Only male leaders allowed?

I think you do need to take people views into account when determining red flags. You don't need to have the same views but I wouldn't want to be with a BNP member - I don't think someone with those values could be compatible with mine. Just like in the UK there is a spectrum of republican support it isn't raving "make American great again" cap wearers or nothing. .

You really need to accept that people can have different views to you and that doesn’t make them a bad person

Of course it can make them a bad person, depending on what those views are.

Personally, the difference in fundamental, basic values between me and a Trump supporter would be so vast that I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with one, much less having children and raising them with someone whose values were so opposed to my own. It's impossible for such a gulf in core beliefs not to have an impact on daily life IMO.

It's naive to think political views have no impact on a relationship when those views are often born of a person's core beliefs and values which are an intrinsic part of forming a relationship with somebody.

@hamstersarse has been making strongly anti-Harris comments on previous threads. This is just more of the same.

But I love @Beekeepingmum ’s question! What about it, @hamstersarse ?

Edited for typo

I would ask him what he thinks about Trump's proven sexual assaults. The answer might be enlightening.

There are clearly a lot of Trump supporters or he wouldn't of been elected! I don't think it's a red flag to agree with his views.

A fair few million people seem to agree with your boyfriend judging by the results so far, so I don't think this in itself is a red flag. Your alarm seems to be based on a lot of "what ifs" - you're not in America, you're not pregnant, and even if you were there are still options like travelling elsewhere.

Remember, your boyfriend isn't weighing up Trump versus a good candidate, he's deciding between an appalling candidate and an utterly abysmal one. Harris is dreadful. Trump is dreadful too. Your boyfriend has just chosen the steaming pile of doberman shit over the steaming pile of labrador shit.

That’s a red flag for me. It’s not just about whether you can travel to another state to have an abortion, it’s about whether other women can do that. Abortion is also healthcare - women are dying because doctors are unable to end pregnancies that have gone wrong in time or are too scared to act. Couldn’t be with someone who didn’t respect my bodily autonomy. Also he is naive to think this will stay as a state issue.

I think my problems more that I really don't agree with a lot of his policies particularly around climate and the big one being immigration. Though it doesn't impact me directly I just can't understand why my bf thinks there's nothing wrong with it.. he also has said that all the claims of sexual assaults are smear campaigns or the likes. He's actually pretty switched on and does keep up with politics (a lot more than I do in fairness) so is well aware of what he stands for. I also thought the abortion thing was kind of like well we would be fine anyway, fuck everyone else's rights (I like the question above of why he doesn't get the snip though!). I just think his views are a little selfish and worries me about his level of respect for women etc.

He doesn’t respect women.

Smear campaigns? If he follows politics he'll know a judge convicted him of rape, and there's a widely-diffused recording of him bragging about sexually assaulting women. So he knows these things but just doesn't care about women. Sorry but I couldn't be with someone like this.

hamstersarse · Today 08:59

You really need to accept that people can have different views to you and that doesn’t make them a bad person. It’s called being grown up

Doesn’t that depend on the views?