Good experiences from conceiving in 30s?

[BadLuck2023]

Hiya!
DH and I held off on conceiving as we wanted to get our finances sorted before having children. We both had rough childhoods and wanted better for our kids than what we had.

It's definitely just anxiety but I've read horror stories of women having issues trying to conceive (I'm 30, will be 31 when TTC probably). Please would love some good stories to ease my mind? Have spoken to the doctor about coming off BC and have had blood tests done which she is happy with

I conceived every single time we had unprotected sex in my fertile period. We started when I was 30. My first ever pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, but as soon as my period came back I got pregnant again and had a live birth.

Don't get wrapped up in horror stories if you can help it.

First time, 32, took 5 attempts. Short cycle so about 4 months.

Second time: just days after coil removed, wasn't even properly trying. Aged 35.

I'd say 90% of the many women I know with a child or children conceived in their 30s. I know very few women who had children in their 20s. I know one who had IVF due to various internal difficulties (not infertile, just not the normal anatomy) and one who took ages, not helped by being rail thin and very stressed all the time.

If you're really worried, get to know your cycle and when you ovulate, rather than overthinking your (young) age.

I got pg very quickly at 32 with DD, literally DTD once after i came off the pill "to see what would happen"
It took about 6 months of trying at 36 to get pg with DS, I bought an ovulation indicator and saw that my fertility window wasn't what I thought. As soon as I adjusted that I got pg straight away

The chances are you'll be completely fine, I was 37 and very overweight, and then 39 and still overweight and didn't struggle either time. Best of luck!

Can you address your anxiety, OP? Rather than focussing it on conceiving? Because conception in your 30s is entirely unremarkable. The median age for a woman to have her first child as of 2024 is 32yrs old.

According to fertility experts it can be. Early 30's not so much, but 34+ can mean intervention is needed. I'd have hormonal bloods done. In couples were there were low fertility on both sides, by 30 the ship could have sailed. Individual fertility varies. I never carried to term after 30 and struggled to get pregnant after having my children in my 20's. You won't be able to control how your pregnancy or birth goes. Then your child's development etc, so you really need to work on any control issues. Your DH won't be the exact same parent as you and that can have an effect on your relationship. Although I do appreciate that control can come from a place of anxiety as a trauma/neglect response.

You're incredibly young. Chances are high that you will conceive within six months of regular unprotected sex but you can follow the "sperm meets egg plan" (google it) to increase your chances of a quick conception

If you're a type a personality (me too 🙋‍♀️) the lack of control is the hardest thing about TTC.... i just controlled everything I could (diet, amount of sex, rest, vitamins etc). I was 35 when I had my first and 38 with my second and my DH is a lot older than yours

31 through a condom
Accidentally, and 35 first time tried

Relax, honestly! People seem to over-think and over-problematise conceiving in your 30s. Starting in your 40s might be time to have some concern (but still perfectly possible) but 30s is really not an issue, just go for it, don't drive yourself mad about things you're 'supposed to do' for fertility and so on.

Yes! Definitely type a! I know I drive my DH mad with questions and my research haha!

In England and Wales the average age of a 1st time mother is 30.9 and father is 33.8.
I think over 35 I would be worried, at 30/31 I wouldn't be. Come off any hormonal contraception, take contraception vitamins and get yourself as fit and health as you can, this will give you the best chance of conceiving quickly

No one in my friendship group and wider cycle got pregnant until past 30, so this is a baffling idea to me. I'm definitely not regarded as a geriatric mum at the ripe old age of 32. For me, I got pregnant within a month of trying. I think it was Rhiannon Coslett who wrote a good piece about lots of fertility stats are based on French peasants from hundreds of years ago

Wow relax, you're stressing about something that hasn't even happened yet. Stress is a major factor.

Also best to work on your control issues before TTC...

I conceived first time we tried at 32.

Conceived fairly easily at 35 as well.

DC1: pregnant after 9 months TTC at 32
DC2: pregnant after 5 months TTC at 34
DC3: pregnant after 4 years TTC at 40

A few miscarriages in between all the pregnancies too.

Good luck OP, you are young enough that I wouldn't panic too much but I know that's easier said than done.

I had my 6th,7th and 8th babies in my 30s. Age 32, I ttc for just over a year. Age 35, ttc about 3 months and number 8 was a surprise

I understand the anxiety. Try not to give it much headspace though. The trouble with TTC forums is that only people who struggle to conceive write on them, there’s no point in going there to say hey I conceived easily and everything is fine.

Had my 2 beautiful daughters when I was 34 and 35. No problems. Quite common to have kids in 30's imo.

I've got three kids, conceived age 30, 31 and 35. First time, every time.
If you're worried then you can have your hormone levels (FSG and AMH, I think they are) checked.

Good luck, OP. Don't wait too long, but I only say that because it's never the right time to have a baby.

Average age at birth in UK has been increasing and was 31 3 years ago.

Even when I had mine 35 years ago, you had to be 35 to be described as an “elderly primagravida”

Three times, first month all three times. Took me by surprise especially the first time, as all you hear is how long it takes. I think people don’t want to say when it’s been quick, for fear of upsetting people.

Good luck!

Early 30s are very young. Most of the mums at DC school have babies late 20s and early 30s. You'll stand out if you have babies in your early 20s. I had mine at 36 and 39 and I didn't feel especially old compared to the other mums, just slightly older. You'll be totally fine.

I was 35/36 and it took us a while but we got there.

Listen to your body, learn more about your cycle. You may ovulate at the beginning or end of the "window of opportunity".

Ultimately, relax and take the pressure off, it's amazing how much difference that can make.

I conceived in 5 cycles age 33 and again in 6 cycles age 35.

In my area at least, a geriatric pregnancy is age 37 and above.

It is hard not being able to control TTC, but I would say age is definitely on your side OP!

Conceived at 35 and had a baby