How much does your size/weight bother you?

[AllAboutJazz]

I'd say I'm healthy, fairly fit and active.

I make a lot of effort to cook healthy meals, drink green tea (blugh), avoid processed food etc. I'm not thin, but not exactly fat either, just...plump? BMI 22.5 but I'm short, so I could stand to lose a stone.

I own my house and have a business, really love my job, have a few friends who are lovely, a great partner and freedom to more or less do as I please - a very lucky life.

Why then am I so unhappy not being thin? It's like I can't let myself be happy, because I should be smaller.

How often do you think about your size/weight? How much does it affect your happiness?

Not at all.
Size 12, 5'8", 45 yo.
Lots of physical work, no alcohol.

I think people care more about their weight than others do is true to some extent, but @Soyare you are right it does seem to matter and it does affect people. People judge thin people too for being obsessive or vain so it can work both ways. I get negative feedback from women who can feel uncomfortable around me for the difference in choices we make, if I say no thanks to food or drink they can interpret this as me judging them for eating it. I also felt self conscious when I was larger eating in front of other people. I’ve been at the large end and the slimmer end of the spectrum and life is probably easier socially to be slim most of the time, still get comments though. When I was larger I felt self conscious all the time even if people gave me reassurance. Now I would only feel self conscious in swim wear. I don’t mind the pay off or the sacrifices but there is a limit - if it was taking up all my thoughts and time and I was restricting myself too much then my quality of life wouldn’t be worth those choices.

The point in Bridget Jones was that she wasn't fat, it was in her head. It was a satire on how women beat themselves up for no real reason. Her obsession with food/ dieting kind of mirrors yours in a way!

But it's about what you took from it rather than the intention behind it. It seems a lot of people perceived it as she was actually meant to be overweight.

A lot 😡 I eat reasonably healthily but I do like the odd glass of wine (twice a week and I mean glass not bottle!) and bite of chocolate!

I've been away from home for 2 months! The first 2 weeks I put on 3 kg and the next 6 weeks I lost only 2 kg despite only having a glass of wine 3 times during that time and eating one bar of chocolate every 2 weeks!

I'm a size 14, BMI 29 so nearly at obese. Nothing I do can shake the weight! I don't eat biscuits and, rarely cake. I don't exercise regularly but I do walk daily ☹️ I need to lose 11 kg to be in the healthy range. Any suggestions , apart from cutting off an arm? 🤣

Weight is all relative. When I had a BMI of 22, I had people literally asking me if everything was ok, daily. I was still a size 12 on my bottom, but my face, shoulders chest and arms were tiny and boney. I could have easily worn a 6/8 top. I looked very underweight and unwell from my hips and bum upwards.

The fat just loves to stay on my hips and bum.

I know my friendship group (same age) are the same. Multiple conversations every week about losing weight and dieting.

Wow. I genuinely cannot remember any conversation with friends about losing weight and dieting. Maybe the odd mention of having eaten too much on a holiday and needing to eat salad to compensate. Or a bit of a moan about tummy squidge, in the context of a conversation about clothes. But no more than that.

I am not sure if your group is unusual or if mine is!

Me too

God some of these replies are so sad.

How did we get to a point where people who are a size 10 or 12 or 10 pounds overweight are thinking about their weight all the time and are unhappy because of it??

If this is you I’m really sorry for whatever has made you feel that way, whether it was parents or childhood experience or social media or something else.

I have just lost close to 6 stone, yes these is a bit of saggy skin but I'm cock a hoop with my body.

For the first time time in 15 years I'm comfortable with photos & my reflection.

I used to feel huge compared to my husband and would feel judged (why is he with her sort of thing) even though I doubt anyone gave me a second thought.

All the time. Barely a minute goes by without me thinking about my obesity. It affects my fitness and has absolutely decimated any social life I have. If I see anyone I've not seen for years, my instant thought is how much weight I've gained. I've shunned gatherings, gigs, parties, even meet-ups with old friends because of it.

Do I do anything about it? I've tried but my willpower simply evaporated after childbirth. Seriously thinking about asking GP/paying privately for Ozempic 😞

Depends on height. At 5'2 for example a modern size 10 can look a little squishy the way a size 14 can look a little squishy on someone who is 5'6.

Not fat. But not slender.

Me three

at my thinnest I was cycling 75miles on the weekend did two years back to back a mega ride (545 miles in 6 days) and put on 4lbs during the ride the first year so paid much more attention the second year and dropped 5lbs from my already pretty skinny body and was 9stone. I will tell you it felt AMAZING to wear American size 2 but I looked and felt my best a few years later when I switched cycling for yoga and ate a bit more so I was toned AND slim. Having said that - my face def looks older and drawn in those photos

the last 4-5yrs the weight has crept on, I’m now 10.5 stone and 5’9” so I know I’m not “fat” logically but I feel horrible when I look in the mirror and because I’ve increased weight training recently (and actually have boobs and a bum again) all my clothes are tight and uncomfortable.

i think about food all the time and mentally punish myself for feeling fat, and often binge eat to punish myself which is why I’m bigger than I wish I was. I actually think if I could be 10 stone consistently I’d be happy….but I’d probably still think about food all the fucking time. It’s miserable and I feel so vain even thinking about it

I struggle.
I've lost over 100lbs and am not just over 10st.
But I have residual fat and skin on my stomach so I still look fat in trousers/jeans and I can't do anything about it.
I don't want to lose much more weight, I don't think it would be sustainable either, but I still feel chubby because of my middle.

I vary from size 14 to 18 and it's out of my control. I eat as healthily as I can, I make good choices. I always averaged out at size 16 no matter what diets I tried over the years, and there's been many.

I have an under active thyroid, a debilitating skin condition which keeps me on the verge of being in hospital at times, suspected lupus, suspected sjogren's syndrome, a heap of mental health problems all diagnosed, diagnosed fibromyalgia when I was 27 so 19years ago, plus the rest I'll not bore you with. The doctor isn't able to get my pain under control, despite taking seriously strong medications.

I constantly strive for balance in taking part in life and not absolutely exhausting myself to the point where I can completely crash.

My weight is it's own entity and I change sizes probably twice a year, just as my body decides. I don't change my diet, I'm always the one having one course and taking food home in a tupperware box.

My husband thinks I look amazing and always has. When we got married 8yrs ago, I decided I'd had enough of diets and being unsuccessful at controlling my weight. So I treated myself to a really expensive leather jacket to wear on the day . A way of saying - this is me, I embrace and accept it.

I dress for my shape well and get lots of compliments. I apologise for the long answer but I think the context is important. I'm confident, happy and I'm doing the absolute best I can.

I'm so sad to read all these people who are unhappy with their size/appearance.

It doesn't.

I'm not as slim as I was but I'm in my 60s. My BMI is 22.5 as well. I'm 5'8".

I still run two 5ks a week and feel generally OK about my appearance. I eat healthily, cook from scratch, am single with a teen ds, and enjoy my career. I'm generally happy.

I'm slim, size 8 - 10, but my feet are size 8 and I'm big boned, so i do feel slightly sad about my big frame but not my weight as such. I'd love to be petite or have a tiny frame like Natalie Portman.

I probably think about it too much. Ive lost over 100Ibs in the last 2 yrs and now have a BMI of 21 and am very fit, but I still obsess over the loose skin and the fact my middle aged tummy is bigger then it was.

Im trying to accept myself though and be proud of what Ive acheived. I find if I stare in the mirror I can find multiple faults but if I just catch myself in a window or shop mirror Im often shocked at the slender person I see (Im pretty sure that everybody else just sees me like that too!).

All the time and I hate it.

I was always normal and fit, my natural size was 8/10 right into my 30s, I'm very muscular (even now). Then I started to feel unwell and was fobbed off by the GP, 2 years later I put on 4 stone in 4 months. In the end after a lot of pushing I got a thyroid test and I am hypo. I am now a size 22 and was not lazy nor did I eat it so it feels grossly unfair when people, especially those in the NHS assume I've always been this size, lazy and, scoff everything. The attitude from nurses and doctors have been appalling to the point where I won't go for anything medical unless I absolutely have no choice. I'm very careful with diet and I exercise. I don't recognise my face in the mirror, I avoid mirrors like the plague.

I've tried everything except the weightloss pens which I've been told I can't have because of this stupid condition. I'm on a very high dose of thyroxine and test results can show as deranged (which is the GP/consultant term for it not mine) There is no one in my family who has it.

It's great that others feel happy about their size, fair play to you all, but I utterly hate it and I hate the way people always look down on us regardless of cause. It is yet another hurdle to jump every single time you do something new, from shopping for clothes (ugh) to starting a new contract.

I'm probably a bit too thin at the moment - BMI a little under 18. I like it being 18.5 but I can't do things in moderation. I'm a recovering alcoholic of many years, and many of us turn to food or shopping or exercise as cross addiction. My substitutes were work and eating healthily, not anywhere near as bad as drinking but I still find it tough to be moderate.

My most beautiful friend is large - no idea how large because it's not a topic of discussion - and happy in her skin, which I envy in anyone who has it. She radiates confidence and happiness and is a joy to be with.

My mother has had a restrictive eating disorder for my entire life. By some miracle I didn’t inherit it, but knowing how much she prizes thinness has given me some deeply rooted equation of a smaller body with all sorts of positive qualities that it has nothing to do with.

I am very hard on myself if I’m heavier and it colours everything in my life when I gain weight. I could feel my mother’s disappointment when I gained weight as a teen and I still feel it now. It’s more important to me than it probably should be and I’m careful about it.

I don’t really recognise a lot of the slightly joyless Mumsnet versions of what thinner people eat, though. I think I was just raised by an ‘almond mom’ on smaller portions so I do what I’m used to rather than cutting out food groups, or eating vast quantities of salad. I’m also not notably thin, just lower healthy BMI.

It’s not great to be so overly focussed on being slim, but I will say this: I’m mid-40s and I am starting to notice that my body seems to be in pretty good nick. In an aches and pains/chronic illness/peri symptoms sense not a how I look in a bikini (meh) sense. So I’m pleased in that way that I’m unkind to myself about weight gain because I think it really helps with general health in the long run to be a healthy weight.

I still haven’t lost the baby weight form no 3 (he’s two 😂).

i have about a stone to lose and feel a little dumpy. Life is quite crazy and hectic so I don’t think about it too much but I am focusing on eating better and a little less cake etc

I am a 14/16 and BMI is 28. Recently gained from a 12/14 a d BMI 24. Wasn't happy before the gain, and definitely am not now. I would love to lose a couple of stone but have zero motivation as love food too much.

Give yourself a minute, friend. I’ve always been good at keeping my weight steady but gained an enormous amount in both my pregnancies (not hyperbole, it was more than it should have been). I couldn’t get any of it to go in the early months and was at the corner shop buying Frijj milkshakes when they gave out the exclusive breastfeeding weight loss tokens I was told about.

I thought I’d never have the body I knew back. But then months pass, hormones settle and babies start to sleep more and eat real food. My experience with both babies was that my old eating habits gradually returned to normal after 6 months and with it my weight went back to something more like what I was used to. I don’t suppose that’s everyone’s experience, but I don’t know many people who didn’t come out of the pregnancy years approximately where they went into them.

I think you can give yourself a pass for not knowing or liking your body at the moment. Post partum is a bit different.

congratulations on your weight loss! May I ask how you did it?

Depends on height. At 5'2 for example a modern size 10 can look a little squishy the way a size 14 can look a little squishy on someone who is 5'6.

Not fat. But not slender.

Yes, the sizes are fairly meaningless without the context of height. Obviously a size 8 woman's top would be huge on my child who is 145cm and a healthy weight, but is well-fitted on a slim adult of 5'10" (178cm). Someone who is 5'6" (165cm) and wears a size 8 would likely be at the upper end of healthy BMI not slim, or have a large build on a short frame so look completely different to someone taller who wears "the same size". Clothing would be so much better if it was sold based on actual measurements like men's clothing, not varying between brands as well so you have to look it all up.

People also have different frames and muscle density. But height in conjunction with weight can give a fairly good indicator in most cases of a healthy weight excluding extreme cases hence BMI.

I do think our idea of what is "normal" is completely out of proportion now because so many people are overweight. You don't see this as much in every country but it is a growing problem in many in the developed world even if they aren't as bad as us yet, and in the countries where it is worse it's almost completely down to unhealthy food, lack of cooking with fresh ingredients.

It's so sad to see so many women fixated on how they look rather than the health implications wh