Multiple kisses after every text (DH)

[FruityLoop1]

Kiss etiquette! 💋

DH has always been big on sending multiple kisses after every text message. Just came across some of our old messages and he would put around 30 (!) after every message, even if just discussing what to have for tea lol. I would feel pressured to put an equal amount and if I didn’t he would feel like I was in a mood with him or off with him.

Fast forward to the present day and we roughly put around XXXX four kisses after each message but it’s hard work! Sometimes I just need to send a quick message or we are just discussing something mundane etc. Kisses after each exchange are overkill surely? He gets upset if I send no kisses even if I’m just asking if he’s put the bins out! A loving message-fair enough but after every tiny reply it’s too much surely?

AIBU? Is around 3 lines of kisses in the early days overkill?! Is it a red flag? 🚩

I think it’s the pressure, years later that I still feel like I have to put kisses every time. We are not young either! What is everyone’s opinion please?

Don't do it and don't engage in conversation about it other than repeat what you've already said, i find everyone seems to put kisses after texts even the hairdresser its ridiculous

YANBU, that's just OTT. If he doesn't know you love him by now without the performative XXXX-ing then he never will.

A red flag? It's a small amount of effort like giving someone a kiss as you walk past or saying I love you when you say bye.

I think it's rather sweet unless he does xxxxxx to every one, or is it special for you ?

It might be something I would have done as a teen but now when I’m juggling a baby all day my husband is lucky if the messages I send him contain all of the required vowels for the words I’ve typed nevermind any kisses! And he’s too busy trying to decipher what I mean from the jumble of letters I’ve sent one handed to notice there’s no X’s!😂

Are you both 12?

You think it's sweet that he gets in a huff with OP if she doesn't equal his performance?!

I think I've just been a little bit sick in my mouth

Gosh, yes,maybe she should LTB 🙄

3 rows of kisses and a foul mood if no kisses, you class that as something nice and small effort?

Well OP said it's only 4 kisses now so not too much effort. We used to do kisses but 20 years and 3: kids later it's pretty rare to even do one x.
Tell him to grow up if he gets in a huff unless he is actually 13.

I’m happy to send kisses if after an affectionate message etc but isn’t XXXX during a long text conversation (after every message overkill?) Or am I dead inside ha ha.

I wouldn't say it's a red flag but 30 kisses after every message would annoy me, and I think it's a bit immature of him to get upset if you don't put XXXX after every single message.

I tend to add one x at the end of a text, just looked and my dH doesn’t put any. Really do not see an issue, seems very childish to worry about how many kisses you get.

That level of neediness to put kisses after each message would give me the ick! x

Is he insecure?

If someone put thirty kisses after mundane messages early on in the relationship it would really put me off. But four is fine.
I tend to put a couple to friends and loved ones. But obviously not tradespeople, hairdressers, solicitors etc. lol.
Not that I have any need for a solicitor thank god.
I have a mate who puts loads of heart emojis and statuses that she 'loved' my message. It's quite ott but she's a lot younger and it's clearly meant in a friendly way.

Maybe for Valentine's Day you could make him a "text message frame" that he could hold up around your messages and which would have the appropriate number of kisses to add to the end of every text.

we roughly put around XXXX four kisses after each message but it’s hard work

I think perhaps you have a different idea of what constitutes 'hard work' to mine. Tapping the X on a phone keyboard a few times is hardly akin to a shift down a coal mine, is it?

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It's really not hard. If that's the biggest issue you have in your marriage then I think you're doing great.

I'm not sure I've ever put an x after a text message to dh or him me. I might do a 😘 if I'm feeling generous. I think the way that you treat each other is far more important than automatically putting a xxxx after each message. It means nothing then surely?

Are you sure the 'X's are kisses? Might they be him self-redacting?

🧐

It’s nice! If your husband was a cold horrible dickhead you would read this post and feel a little sad