He rang me at work just to slurp at me…

[FeminineRageTheMusical]

This is meant to be light-hearted but also I want to set my own ears on fire.

I have always been sensitive to eating noises, but recently DH has just been taking the absolute biscuit. Chewing his food, about every third chew, he opens his mouth slightly, and this makes the most horrendous noise. I have asked him very nicely to please chew with his mouth closed, and he insists that he is doing, and then gets upset about being self conscious about how he eats in front of everyone. I didn’t think it was humanly possible to slurp nachos, but he managed it at the weekend and I just had to leave the room. He then gets in a huff at me about it, but I could have ripped my own ears out if I stayed there any longer! I had to explain again that the noise of the slurping was just too much for me.

Today though, I’ve had enough. He is WFH and I am at the office. He rings me at lunch time for a chat. That’s nice I think. I was wrong. He had one thing to tell me about from his morning and then he starts slurping. I ask what that noise is. He is eating soup. He then just slurps. No more conversation, just slurping down the phone at me. Like he rang me at work just to slurp loudly directly into my ear. I had to make an excuse and hang up because I just couldn’t deal.

AIBU to leave the country before I gouge my own eardrums out???

(Practical advice and jokes very welcome)

I wouldn't have married him. There's an advert on TV at the moment where people breathe really deeply through their noses and it makes me want to chew my arm off.

Eating while on the phone is just bad manners and he knows you hate it so surely he's winding you up.

I have no advice.

Push his face in his dinner next time.

There were many issues near the and of my relationship, but the way my ex ate gave me an un reversible ick. He had increasing issues with mouth breathing that he refused to sort anyway, it got to the point he was eating like a horse with a broken jaw. He would have chewed on soup if he ate it. He ate family bags of crisps, chewing each chip individually, lip smacking and licking each finger in between. He genuinely didn’t see an issue and thought I was being horrible but it made me physically ill. A lot of women get told it’s misphonia (sp??) but it’s strange how it seems to be a female condition mainly affecting those living long term with males…

You need to find a noise he finds unbearable and do that to him every time he slurps.

Think fingernails down a blackboard. Or Baby Shark him to death.

At least singing loudly you'll drown out his slurping. And crying, if you're doing it properly. Bring him to his knees, until he begs for no more marine-based children's songs.

Urgh, my ex slurped yoghurt. You've just reminded me of that. Revolting.

No more conversation, just slurping down the phone at me. Like he rang me at work just to slurp loudly directly into my ear. I had to make an excuse and hang up because I just couldn’t deal.

I'd have just put the phone down. Why make an excuse? Be blunt about it. And I'd have a conversation tonight that probably began with the words, 'If you ever want to have sex with me again, can I suggest the following...'

Surely the teacher should stop him doing it, at least when he's in the class room?

I couldn't cope with someone who did that to me. I have misophonia, it's linked to my adhd. It triggers an extreme flight or flight reaction in me. If someone was so disrespectful as to deliberately do that i don't think i could be in a relationship with them.

My DH phones me when he is having a break at work and it’s generally the time he decides to open his packet of crisps…. I just can’t.

There's an advert for some sort of biscuit at the moment where the camera goes from person to person doing closeups of them chomping and licking their lips. It's revolting. I have to turn away each time.

OP why do you think it's only started recently?

He didn’t slurp when I married him, otherwise I agree, I also would not have married him!

Clearly we need to add to the marriage vows.

"I will love, honour, and not slurp like a fucking warthog...."

Ughhhhh the finger licking. I’m gagging just thinking about it.

That’s the same here, making out like I’m being horrible about it, but it’s just manners to not be so loud and slurpy right?? I don’t have a problem when I’m around people eating quietly…

Love this 😂

Whyyyyy do they do this??

He's playing mind games. I'd actually leave him over that. It's not the petty noises, it's the fact he's a game player and he enjoys getting one over on you and making you feel like shit. There's no way he started that soup by accident.

😂😂😂

Slurping noises and lip smacking, nope hate it and could murder someone. My DP does this god awful noise when he eats food that’s still hot, it will be the death of him

But, controversially I love crunching noises! It reminds me of cuddling my dad when I was little, we’d watch David Attenborough whilst he ate twiglets. It’s especially nice if someone sounds like they have a hollow head 😂

Hahaha! Loving this. I thought it was just me! 🤯

Have just spent a few weeks with my sister in close quarters and I’m ready to throttle her family over a similar problem. She thinks I’m mad and a control freak.

Ughhhhh the finger licking.

Every. Single. Finger. After every single crisp. Lip smacking each time. I know it’s a stereotype, but honestly I think it just comes under the man spreading umbrella, loud eating, loud breathing, loud sneezing. All says ‘I am man, I must be heard’. It’s bloody rude regardless.

If you have misophonia, the yes, you are quite likely to be being unreasonable. I've met a few people with the condition, some are self aware and chose to deal with it by wearing loop ear plugs or similar, others make it everyone else's problem. I've just about had enough of the latter people. I'm not fond of eating noises or seeing people eating close up on the tv myself but I wouldn't dream of making someone feel uncomfortable about it.
If it's your issue, why don't you deal with it instead of being awful to your dh. If it is him that genuinely that awful then leave.

Do we have the same ex? My ex would lick every single finger after each crisp, followed by smack smack smack. I feel ill just thinking about it.

There’s only one thing for it…. LT (slurpy) B! 🤣🤣

Totally this
I don't have Misophonia,my DH eats like a donkey
If he eats an apple the cat jumps !