He rang me at work just to slurp at me…

[FeminineRageTheMusical]

This is meant to be light-hearted but also I want to set my own ears on fire.

I have always been sensitive to eating noises, but recently DH has just been taking the absolute biscuit. Chewing his food, about every third chew, he opens his mouth slightly, and this makes the most horrendous noise. I have asked him very nicely to please chew with his mouth closed, and he insists that he is doing, and then gets upset about being self conscious about how he eats in front of everyone. I didn’t think it was humanly possible to slurp nachos, but he managed it at the weekend and I just had to leave the room. He then gets in a huff at me about it, but I could have ripped my own ears out if I stayed there any longer! I had to explain again that the noise of the slurping was just too much for me.

Today though, I’ve had enough. He is WFH and I am at the office. He rings me at lunch time for a chat. That’s nice I think. I was wrong. He had one thing to tell me about from his morning and then he starts slurping. I ask what that noise is. He is eating soup. He then just slurps. No more conversation, just slurping down the phone at me. Like he rang me at work just to slurp loudly directly into my ear. I had to make an excuse and hang up because I just couldn’t deal.

AIBU to leave the country before I gouge my own eardrums out???

(Practical advice and jokes very welcome)

Also standing indoorways isa thing. Blocking. expecting to confer
permission to leave

It’s a small torture to live with isn’t it, just many parts of a death by a thousand cuts. I will say though, my ex is highly likely to be autistic, something we only started to see after our children showed traits picked up from the HV. It explained a lot of behaviours that were evidently sensory based, but instead of accepting that these things needed to be managed he just said he was ‘leaning into being autistic’ (his words). This meant stopping brushing teeth and having showers regularly, but that’s a whole other thread.

Misophonia is a bit of a curse - so glad when I retired and didn't have to sit in the staff room with the noisy bastards

yes exactly! I did have private, secret counselling with a lovely older lady - she aSked me to describe how ‘getting on my nerves manifested itself so this eating/slurping came up first. Apparently I was noticing at the time as everything else was overwhelming and distressing me, I had decided to separate, so I was ‘allowing’ myself to see and acknowedge something which had been there all the time. She was right of course, a wise astute woman.
I have wondered about the autistic element although now it doesn’t matter.
My now adult children have table manners when they are required, dining out often.

He then just slurps. No more conversation, just slurping down the phone at me. Like he rang me at work just to slurp loudly directly into my ear?

That was deliberate on his part. He deliberately did something that made you feel so uncomfortable and upset despite knowing how it affected you. Almost like throwing a cushion or something soft right next to you on the sofa repeatedly. It's the implication that he can do whatever he wants and there's nothing you can do about it without you coming across as crazy.

Now do you think it's light hearted?

Logically, humans have agency whereas animals do not, in that they need to eat and cannot control their chomping. Sometimes it is gratifying, mucked out properly, bedded with straw, manger packed with hay, horse snorting wth pleasure, chomping away on hay, plus! sucking up fresh clean water, I will lean over the door and watch, listen, smile, totally relaxing.
Across the table from a masticating slurping husband shovelling in, devouring mycarefully prepared and presented meal, distressing.

When I met my husband he used to chew with his mouth open. I literally told him it was a deal breaker for me, I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who couldn't eat with his mouth closed.

He liked me enough to learn to eat with his mouth closed.

On the contrary, your husband does this deliberately knowing how much you don't like it? What a pig.

Yeah, I get that - same with babies, you're just relieved they are actually eating .