He rang me at work just to slurp at me…

[FeminineRageTheMusical]

This is meant to be light-hearted but also I want to set my own ears on fire.

I have always been sensitive to eating noises, but recently DH has just been taking the absolute biscuit. Chewing his food, about every third chew, he opens his mouth slightly, and this makes the most horrendous noise. I have asked him very nicely to please chew with his mouth closed, and he insists that he is doing, and then gets upset about being self conscious about how he eats in front of everyone. I didn’t think it was humanly possible to slurp nachos, but he managed it at the weekend and I just had to leave the room. He then gets in a huff at me about it, but I could have ripped my own ears out if I stayed there any longer! I had to explain again that the noise of the slurping was just too much for me.

Today though, I’ve had enough. He is WFH and I am at the office. He rings me at lunch time for a chat. That’s nice I think. I was wrong. He had one thing to tell me about from his morning and then he starts slurping. I ask what that noise is. He is eating soup. He then just slurps. No more conversation, just slurping down the phone at me. Like he rang me at work just to slurp loudly directly into my ear. I had to make an excuse and hang up because I just couldn’t deal.

AIBU to leave the country before I gouge my own eardrums out???

(Practical advice and jokes very welcome)

So... Why doesn't it go both ways? Why is it ok for her dh to dream of making someone feel uncomfortable about misophonia?

He didn't happen to be in the same room and just innocently be eating. He purposely phoned her up to subject her to his eating noises because it upsets her. That's ok with you? Is it normal in your world to eat while you're on the phone to someone? Most people would think that was rude. Also how can you wear loops if someone's phoned you?

Honestly some people will forgive piggish men anything.

My dh slurps spaghetti and soup...it annoys me but I it's my fault as I never pointed ot out to him...I seethe quietly though.
Why are parents not correcting their sons?

It doesn't bother me noisy eating but my DD has mysaphonia and would go mad.
I just say LTB.

There was a thread on here a while back where the OP was complaining about a lack of table manners. She got a very hard time over it, with lots of outrage, why does it matter, it's antiquated, who cares how someone eats etc. There was even a comment about how teaching children to hold cutlery correctly is bigoted.

As somebody with misophonia and who hates any kind of mouth noise, I find this repulsive. He knows you hate it and did this deliberately to get a reaction. What a silly, immature man.

Quite often the parents' manners are just as vile as the childrens'.

FFS that is so gross - a grown up man doing that as well!! Yuck.

Do something that embarasses him in public... think...lick his face, put crazy eyebrow makeup on, crazy lipstick, laugh at everything and tell him you will keep doing random weird things until he stops his annoying noises!

Did your ex also eat ice lollies in such a phallic way, it made me question both our sexualities? If so, it’s a possibility. Although at least that didn’t involve lip smacking, I think I’d have packed a bag right there and then.

And the phone magnifies the sound

I can't stand the sound of people snorting snot to the back of their throat. I really really hate it. If I was single and dating it would be a total deal breaker. One snort and I'd be off. No conversation at all. So did you know he was a slurper before?

My son bless him smacks his lips and makes "nom, now, ohhh, ahhh" sounds of approval when eating. I try to turn the music up but also I find I can tolerate it, then sometimes I can't. Can't tell him to stop as he has got SEN. Can't divorce him either 😁.

Could be worse I guess, does he chew his toenails in public?

I never saw him eat an ice lolly, fortunately. What a horrible image!

DCat makes all sorts of slurpy noises and bathes himself in the most obnoxiously loud way, but for some reason it's never bothered me a bit

Also saw this and couldn’t believe what other posters were saying… Not sure how children are supposed to learn anything if adults are not showing them and correcting them. Also can’t understand how people can think that table manners are outdated….

I would never answer the phone to him again at lunch or when I am at work. Let him slurp by text. He lost the privilege of phone calls.

Not your problem.

Just reading this thread has made me clench my fists and I can feel my blood pressure rising! I hate, hate, hate noisy eaters and once I've noticed their chomping I can't hear anything else.
On the other hand, the noise my horses make when they are eating their hay is one of the most soothing noises - I could fall asleep to it!

YANBU - you've told him it bothers you and yet he actually called you on purpose to do it! Knob

Tell him your vagina automatically clamps shut at these noises

My thing is people eating boiled sweets or cough sweets who then 'rattle' them around their teeth. WTAF - why??? Gives me the right ick - DH gets told. Every. Time.

If he never used to do it but he’s now started it and is making such a point of it as to phone you just to upset you while you’re at work then it sounds like contempt to me. What an arsehole.

Next time, put him on speakerphone so that your whole office has the pleasure of listening to it but don't tell him. Just see what sort of reaction he gets from your colleagues.

I know its gross, but its not your fault he has the table manners of a Rhino eating a box full of space dust on a Tuesday.

I don’t have any issues with the sound of people eating.

But it would really annoy me if someone rang me on their lunch break!!

What could he possibly need to talk to you about that can’t wait until you get home??

Tell him to go for a walk on his lunch break or something in future and just don’t answer your phone.

It would drive me absolutely mad someone doing that.

My parents were both soup-slurpers - it was revolting.
When DB was planning his wedding, he showed me the proposed menu for the breakfast.
Soup !!! He'd totally forgotten how bad their manners were, & changed it for a solid starter.

Like you I hate eating noises except for crunching I don't mind that, I always play music or TV over the noises including my own eating noise. But I laughed out loud at the phonecall, I would have done had it been done to me too.

Petty revenge attempts can be lighthearted, is there anything he hates?

@Laalaalaand
You missed the bit on my post that said if the husband is the awful one then leave him, I guess. Also, you can hear on the phone with loops in. My friend uses them.

Singing Taylor Swift very loudly and out of tune. I save it for my lone car journeys but I could find myself doing it at other times too…

😂😂😂

Put the radio on when you are eating together, and don't sit opposite him.

Honestly it seems likely that your sensitivity has got worse rather than he is suddenly eating more noisily for no special reason.
And tell him that you understand you may be over sensitive to it but please never call you while eating ever again as it makes you want to peel your ears off.