Friend barely speaking at mealtimes on holiday?

[CallyT]

Friend lives alone so probably isn't used to mealtimes with another person. Old friend of many years.

Usually when we catch up over dinner at home she is chatty and normal.

The first meal or two was fine but the last couple have been painful. She eats very slowly and barely says two words.

She doesn't ask questions and hardly makes eye contact. Tonight I asked if she was ok and she said yes. The only thing time she made conversation was to point out a picture on the restaurant wall and kept talking about it when I tried to change the subject.

AIBU to think as we're on holiday she should be making an effort?

Just say 'I've noticed you like to be quiet at mealtimes. I'm going to go on my phone/read my book so you can enjoy your meal'

Why do some people need to be talking all the time? I love food and when eating it's nice to just concentrate on that. They're with each other 24/7 like a pp said half an hour of nor saying much is surely manageable.

I went on holiday with the mother in law once, lovely lady but talks so much , sometimes I'd pretend to be asleep 😴 just to get a break from it 🙈🤣

I find it difficult because I find silence at meals difficult. I don't mind the occasional lull but it makes me feel like we're not getting along and we haven't fallen out or anything

It might be more a you problem than a her problem. Sometimes you just don’t want to talk like in the same way you like to talk. Just try and relax at mealtimes and not over think it so much

I'd find that awkward but would just keep making conversation. Asking questions, and talking about my own things. I love to chat a lot when eating out. It means I do eat very slowly though.
I don't really know what you can do other than keep the chat going and engage her.
Some people are quieter than others for sure. But hopefully you can find a way round it.

Are you taking every meal together? Would she like to earmark a day, or a half day, for you to each go off and do your own thing? Definitely get a magazine or something to read at the table, or write postcards or something.

Couldn’t imagine this, all my friends are chatty and I’ve been away with them and we chat non stop about various topics, laughing, making jokes sometimes serious chat as well. How odd of your friend. I would go mad.

As she lives alone her social batteries might need a quick recharge
It's different when catching up with a friend at home
I live alone very happily, and would find 24/7 company tiring

She's fightings demons and has developed an Eating Disorder ( psychlogiçal illness) you know nothing about. Human beings are complex beings, we cant all live like a soap opera. Lives change, things change people. Have some Mercy.

I completely agree! This thread seems to have brought out those with poor social skills.

I have been away with many different friends, on holidays and prolonged months of travelling and have never experienced silence at meal times to the extent you have described. She sounds painfully lacking in self awareness. I would be wondering if she had any underlying anxiety issues around food. I would perhaps broach the subject again during the day when things are feeling more normal, in a sensitive way to try to avoid her becoming defensive. As an adult the onus is on her to communicate with you if she would prefer to eat separately, and/or to reassure you that she just needs some quiet time. Most people would feel awkward and uncomfortable in this situation. I hope your next trip is with someone more on your wavelength OP!

Double post - deleted.