Top Unis - am I missing something?

[OnTheRoll]

DD is in Year 13, predicted 3 A, already has an A from a language A Level she did last year, and 11 GCSEs all 8/9. Got a great work experience in her chosen field, lots of academic reading, etc., etc. Has been working very hard and aiming for a top uni.

The problem is, it seems that unless she gets into Oxbridge, there isn't a suitable option for her?

We are in SE so decided not to go for Durham/Edinburg as the travel is just too much, 5+ hours, and she would not be able to come home more than once a term. She would very much prefer a campus experience rather than a city uni which rules out LSE/UCL in London.

There are of course great options like Warwick, Bristol, Bath, Exeter. We visited and DD loved them and so did I.

But I cannot help thinking that if she were to go to one of those unis she didn't really need to spend that much time working, studying and sacrificing her free time. Does it make sense? Entry requirements in those unis in her subject are all quite lower than her current and predicted grades.

Would appreciate some perspective.

Your daughter is predicted 4 A* grades but is shy and finds making friends/settling difficult. All the more reason to go to a university that is far enough it won't allow her to go home every weekend. The world of work is about far more than academics. She needs to be doing extra curriculars, sports, debate, theatre, making friends with different life experiences, dare I say it even having a part time job! This is her opportunity to grow as a person.
Those are the graduates who are snapped up (with the grades too of course)

My DC is applying for loads of unis that requires A*s in the subject. The fact that they aren't Oxbridge never crossed my mind, there are loads of highly regarded Unis with excellent quality teaching.

You're coming across as a snob and focusing on the wrong things. I hope you're able to get more perspective while you're guiding your daughter through this important chapter of her life.

I got 3 A* by the way and didn't go to Oxbridge. I'm doing fine.

This.

She won't need 4 *s for politics.

(a) Oxford only asks for 3 As, same as Bristol/Exeter/probably many more!
(b) She doesn't have 4 A stars, predicted grades aren't guaranteed
(c) I should imagine she is very confused as her mother is putting ideas in her head about certain universities being the only option when this is just rubbish

Her daughter is much too bright to slum it at a university where students got in with just 3A’s 🙄

I can't imagine how terrible it must be to be surrounded by people who all have worse A level results.

As PPs have pointed out, there is a lot more to the university experience than "does everyone here have at least as good A level results as I do". She should be thinking about what she wants from university and then setting the criteria she needs it to meet, for her to have a good experience.

OP do you honestly think your daughter will be the only person with 4 A star grades at these non Oxbridge universities? Spoiler alert - she won’t. And there will more than likely be people who’ve done them in one sitting, which is more of an achievement than your daughter who is only doing the 3 this year.

Yes your daughter is bright but so are lots of people at Universities. She’s not going to stand out the way you seem to think.

I think you're also assuming she's pushing herself so much harder than others who 'only' get As. A levels are hard, some more than others, and there will be some students busting a gut to get lower grades.

It's also worrying that you say she is sacrificing all her spare time for this. It would be wise to encourage a healthier life/work balance.

If future job prospects are the primary concern here, then perhaps politics wasn't the wisest choice of degree in any case?

I have an Oxbridge degree, and I think it did open some doors early on in my career, but honestly, most employers these days are more interested in relevant work experience. I honestly couldn't care less what uni people went to...

Scottish universities default to 4yr degrees because if differences in the secondary qualifications, but if you go in with very high A-levels you can have the option to go into 2nd year and make it a 3 year degree (and you'll still get an MA rather than a BA for relevant subjects, for science it's BSc(Hons) regardless of 3 or 4 years). I went to a Scottish uni and had the option of going into 2nd year but chose not to - which I'm glad of, as it made the 1st year an easier run-in on my weaker subject and a lot of the social relationships are formed in the first year.

The ECML connects a lot of universities - York, Durham, Newcastle, Edinburgh, St Andrews, Dundee, Aberdeen - and travelling up and down at the beginning and end of term there was a great onboard community when I was doing it. But part of my decision in picking a university further away was that I was not intending going home in-term. If you're in the South-East then the logistics come down to how easily you can access KGX. A weekend home to most parts of the SE from Edinburgh or Durham is possible with an early finish on a Friday and going back Sunday afternoon.

When I try to point out gently that people in Oxbridge and LSE too have fun, she says that no,

I went to LSE - got a 1st - had lots of fun! Does your DD know anyone at Uni she could talk to?

Well most schools don’t allow 4 a levels so universities don’t require that.
She might not actually get 4a stars and an a versus a star isn’t massively different so the course will still be full of very comparable people

Of course she has done all of the above

All parents need to think what they actually want for their children. Surely it's to be happy. Does slaving away to get to a certain uni lead to a happy life? Or will they be just another cog in the 9 to 5 grind?. It's setting them up for disappointment and worse.

I knew a very gifted girl. Top marks in every subject, head girl, sports team captain, gifted musician. She got a place at Cambridge to do a science degree. The day before she was due to leave for uni she jumped off a cliff. End of a talented life. No-one saw she was struggling with the insane pressure. Very sad.

OP you appear not to be familiar with how recruitment works these days.

All of my children went to top 10 unis.
Two are now snr managers and recruit in their roles.

Some of the most disappointing candidates they interview have been from Oxbridge. And some failed their 3 month probation period.

The reason was often down to personality, soft skills, and not being a team player.

Nothing to do with intelligence or Oxbridge degrees.

Employers want far more than a degree and it's not clear if your DD is doing anything with her life other than studying.

She may not be offered a place because of this.

Your daughter needs to develop her confidence because it sounds as if wanting to be on a campus and not too far from home are going to limit her unless she becomes more outgoing and confident.

I find this so sad @OnTheRoll Your DD has completely lost sight of herself as a person and only views herself as a commodity. She’s in for a very tough time in life.

Oh how awful

But she's still shy, wants to cling onto coming home more than once a term, and wants a campus based uni?

How is she going to come over at interview?

Is the language she has already got an A for a home language? If so, some unis may not count that e.g. LSE. Just something to keep in mind. If I understand correctly, she is doing 4 A Levels so not a big deal, but the language may have been unnecessary work.

Students dont go home more than once a term /only between terms.

She won't be able to do that at Oxbridge.

St Andrews & Edinburgh are heaving with A star Oxbridge rejects from SE!

I lived in South East

I went to a Scottish uni, which was my first choice (after viewing many others)

I really enjoyed my time at uni & made many life long wonderful friends. We are in contact regularly & support one another.
I also attend some of the reunions of a group that I joined while there.
I went to a reunion earlier this year in a beautiful part of Scotland.

Cheapest Megabus that I paid was £6.50 return London to Glasgow & that was in the last 10 years.

Since I have graduated no employer has ever criticised which uni that I attended. However, I have had to supply all my original qualification certificates O & A level, Degree, post degree

Whilst at uni, I made the most of my time there. I did not want to go home. I spent my time exploring Scotland.

Many young people travel for a gap year or for holidays. So your theory about the uni being too far to travel is ridiculous.

Let your DD choose the uni & let her enjoy her time there !

Look at Politics and IR at Bath (with it without a placement year)

How awful for your family that you have a focused and high achieving child

This is simply not true.

Oxbridge don't have enough places for everyone who is "clever enough" and a high achiever.

Applying to Oxbridge is like entering a lottery for a place. There's no magic formula of having the right grades, a high entry test score and enough super-curricular achievements.

It does help if you have all of the above but also tick extra boxes for the Uni though, so that they can show diversity/inclusivity.

I think this a good problem to have and she should maintain that work ethic. This opens up a whole host of choices and sets her up well for managing her uni course, wherever she chooses to go.