…to ask 5 1/2 yr old to stay in bed/room until 6:15am? When do your kids get up?

[Newbie887]

Weve been trying to get youngest son who is 5 1/2 to stay in his room (either in his bed or playing quietly with toys) until the sun on his gro clock comes up at 6:15am. He is generally awake at 5:30am.

It’s been about a year now of trying and we are just not getting anywhere. Everyone is tired. Personally I think we should give up trying and accept one of us gets up at 5:30am with him, but partner thinks we should keep at it. Ideally he would like him in his room until 7am but we have compromised on 6:15. He regularly resorts to shouting at him each morning when he won’t keep quiet, which leads to crying / tantrums / generally shitty start to each day, and he rarely does go back to bed anyway.

what time do most children wake up? If they wake early will they play in their room / take themselves downstairs to play or do they wake the whole house as my son does?! We have some very well behaved cousins in the family who will either sleep or entertain themselves until gone 8am each morning, but not sure if this is normal

My DD used to get up at 4.30 am for the day. She never napped past 18 months. It nearly killed me.

We had a bunny ears clock (similar to a gro clock now) and successfully taught her to stay in her room quietly until 7 am. However, we did it in small increments and had to be really strict and consistent about what happened if she didn't follow the routine.

If she insisted on getting up early, nothing fun happened until the bunny ears popped up. Literally nothing. No TV. No toys. No food. No conversation or playing. We'd sit next to her on the sofa with a blanket. We had quite a few tantrums but didn't give in. It took a few weeks but it worked.

YOTO! It’s been a life saver. My dd has been able to stay in her room until we get her since she was about 3, purely down to the yoto keeping her busy.

God this is such a hard one. Children aren’t being naughty by waking early but it can be soul destroying to be woken up that early every day.

Taking it in turns sounds good, but the person whose turn it is has to do it uncomplainingly. Certainly no yelling- that’s totally not on.

Or would it be so bad for him to watch a bit of TV with some simply breakfast in bed sometimes, and you guys go back to sleep for a bit?

You could try some magnesium as this can help with calming and sleep - we give to DS1 as are sure he’s neurodiverse.

However both of mine know the rules with the gro clock and do either read or play quietly if they’re up earlier.

Best thing was when they worked out how to use the tv remote and now come down when Ollie is awake and quietly watch tv!

Our 5yo can come through to us at 0715 when the sun comes up on his Gro clock. Persevere! I think it’s fine to at that age.

I would not be getting up at 5:30 with a child past the age of around 18 months.

It's not the morning time, it's a night wake.
5.5 is absolutely old enough to grasp that, but you will both just have to be consistent with it. Putting him back in bed and not engaging. Eventually it will get through to him.
And put him to bed later, but consistently later, it won't happen over night, but after a few week of going to bed later, the wake time will start to shift.
Also my youngest sometimes wakes at 6:30 which is too early for me, if she does this, I put her in my bed and she'll sleep for another hour or so. Maybe that would be an option?
Good luck!

My 5.5 year old gets up at around 6.30 most mornings and takes himself downstairs and puts the tv on until i get up with our baby around 7.45. Obviously doesn't make himself breakfast but he can get himself a drink if he needs to.

U should be supervising if they are awake, no idea y u think u don’t have to.

It’s not about supervising! You be firm and put them back to bed and tell them it’s not time to get up yet. Make it as boring as possible. No lights on, no playing, no TV, no food. They will go back to sleep if it’s dark and boring. Then their body clock will shift. Honestly it’s worth being persistent with this. Unless you like getting up at 5.30am for the foreseeable

Mine were brought soft toys/books in bed to entertain themselves from a very young age, they were still in cotbeds!
I really need my sleep, so I never took them out before 7 and they kept the habits when they were able to get out of bed themselves: even if they woke up they knew to read in bed or play quietly in their bedroom.
Then from 6-7yo I thought them how to make themselves breakfast (cereals/milk) and now at 10yo they entertain themselves until 9am easily (with no screens! Otherwise they would get up earlier)

Mine have aways got up at 7am, when we go in and wake them. They have never got up earlier than that on their own unless they've been ill, or when they were much younger (under 1). They do go to bed relatively late, never before 9pm.

May have already been answered but does he have an ipad or similar?- can't he just play games or something on that (on mute or with headphones) til you go and get him at a suitable time?

My 6 year old wakes anything between 5am and 6:30am, sometimes 7. Usually 6-6:30.

It's hard!

His gro clock turns yellow at 6, anything before that is nighttime and we'll send him back to bed.

The other morning he woke at 5:40 and spent what felt like every ten seconds asking if it was nearly 6am yet, so frustrating and tiring!

My toddler doesn't wake until 7 or 7:30 and the real killer is when he accidentally wakes her so I really try to avoid that. Having my first coffee of the day before she wakes is a game changer!

Hang in there op, I know how hard early starts are. X

How about letting him come in for a cuddle and to listen to audiobooks quietly while you snooze? That works well for us.

We had a lot of success with the gro clock for a very early riser but as some others have said, you need to do it gradually. First we set it for 10 mins after his usual wake up time, then lots of fuss, praise etc for staying in bed til the sun came up. Then gradually we moved it back by about 10 mins each time until we got to the time we wanted (which was 6.30). We may have combined this with a reward chart, I can’t remember as he’s now nearly 13!! But he definitely got lots of praise for waiting til the sun came up and it did work.

Do not allow screens!! All that blue light is like a big reward for the brain for being awake, it reinforces that its a time to be awake when it isn't.

I have a 5 year old and an 8 year old. They know they have to stay on their rooms until 7am. They are usually asleep but if they wake early they will read or play until 7. It took a fair amount of reinforcement from an early age though! At 7am on weekends they are allowed downstairs to watch tv and help themselves to breakfast so we can have a lie in.

Ours did, got up and watched TV.
just show them how to use the Tv and tell them not to wake you up.

He is not allowed screens on weekdays before school (or after school), but is allowed on a weekend because there’s a limit to what we can put up with and it does mean we get to go back to bed. The screens don’t seem to make much of a difference, he refuses to stay in his bedroom no matter if it’s a weekday or a weekend.

School have highlighted some behavioural issues which they are monitoring, we have a meeting later this month to discuss if there needs to be next steps. He is a difficult child to parent generally and we get a lot of the behaviours they are noticing at home on a bigger scale. So there’s also a part of me that thinks if he needs assessment (personally I can see ADHD and ODD traits in him) then perhaps this is why we are not getting anywhere (both with this issue and many others). He is the youngest of three so it’s not like we haven’t been there before with the older ones, they just responded to things whereas we get nowhere with him 😵‍💫

He knows how to use the TV and knows on weekends he is allowed to get up once the sun has come up on his clock at 6:15am and put it on. The trouble is he seems unable to wait until then. If he does happen to wake up after 6:15 he will still call for me and want me to go with him, he says he is scared but I’m not sure, there’s a lot of lights on. I’ve told him countless times not to wake us up, his dad as well (often shouted, as mentioned in the post) but it isn’t that simple. I have no idea why

So he sees he bedroom as a prison or somewhere he doesn’t want to be .

Can you let him help you make his besroom
special ? Perhaps a sign on the door or build a den ? Make it somewhere he wants to be .

Is his favourite toy out to play with ? Lego or something that takes a long time ?

And he is attention seeking and wanting time with you. He isn’t able to see that you have needs too.

A den is a good idea. If we built one together before bed and put an activity and a morning snack in it perhaps that would keep him in there until 6:15. It does seem bloody elaborate though but maybe it can be a first step which we then wind down from once the routine is in place 🤣🤣.

His room is already where all his special / favourite toys are but perhaps if I got the duplo actually out and in the den so he can physically see it then he would use it

Every child is different. I told DD when she was three that she should stay in her room until I got her (disclaimer: DD was and is an easy child, even her teen years have been drama free).