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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use Jacob if I don't like Jake

95 replies

blipblopblip · 02/11/2024 12:03

Baby boy born over a week ago and we still can't decide on a name, names I liked were Arthur ,Sebastian and Hugo but we couldn't have due to various reasons. We've both said we like Jacob but I really hate Jake as a nickname. Can I call him Jacob without the nickname Jake ending up being used?
Other suggestions welcome

OP posts:
QuestionableMouse · 02/11/2024 12:05

I don't think you can.

Jacob is a lovely name and Jake is still nice.

And ime Jake's/Jacob's tend to be really good people!

nomorehocuspocus · 02/11/2024 12:05

The only people I know called Jake are named Jake. I didn't know people would shorten Jacob to Jake anyway.

Jay would be more likely I'd have thought.

Singleandproud · 02/11/2024 12:06

Jake will get used as soon as he starts school, you have no control over it.

My niece is an Isobel and my SiL hates Izzy but as soon as she started school it stuck and that's all she goes by now.

AutumnFroglets · 02/11/2024 12:06

You can't stop others calling him Jake especially once he hits school age. But every Jacob I know ends up as Jay.

Hoglet70 · 02/11/2024 12:07

I never knew Jake was short for Jacob either. All the Jakes I know are just Jake. I know one Jacob who is always Jacob.

BiscuitDreams · 02/11/2024 12:08

Every Jacob I know is a Jake. I like Jake though.

ManhattanPopcorn · 02/11/2024 12:09

You'll have no control over what nicknames his friends choose.

Fairislesweater · 02/11/2024 12:10

Whatever you call him, it will likely get nicknamed at school, I think boys especially tend to do this with their mates. My son has a name I didn’t think you could shorten but yep turns out you can 😂

SummaLuvin · 02/11/2024 12:10

plenty of Jacob’s are Jay or Jacob. Plenty are Jake, you can’t second guess and guarantee that yours will fall into the former, when he develops his own opinions and preferences.

Icanthinkformyselfthanks · 02/11/2024 12:12

My elder son is called Jacob, everyone calls him Jacob. ☺️

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 02/11/2024 12:12

I don’t think you can control what people call your child as a nickname. Nicknames kind of develop organically- you can’t force a nickname or prohibit one.

I would call him the name you like best and just relax about things you can’t control.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 02/11/2024 12:12

I know loads of people who are known as nicknames you’d never have predicted.

ibbydibby · 02/11/2024 12:14

Icanthinkformyselfthanks · 02/11/2024 12:12

My elder son is called Jacob, everyone calls him Jacob. ☺️

Same here!

GroovyChick87 · 02/11/2024 12:14

I see them as 2 separate names but I don't get how you can love Jacob and hate Jake. I'd probably pick something else.

Serencwtch · 02/11/2024 12:14

I know a few Jacob's & they aren't shortened apart from a jay & a JJ

TheRutshireWI · 02/11/2024 12:14

I know Jakes Jays and a Kobi who are all Jacob and also an Yaya. You'd have no say over what sticks at school.

CaputDraconis · 02/11/2024 12:19

My parents gave me and my sister short names because they hated names being shortened and wanted to give us names that wouldn't/couldn't be shortened (think christening us Vicky not victoria and Molly). As soon as we started school the nicknames came and stuck. We get called vicks/vix/v mol/mols/m

There is no avoiding it.

QueSyrahSyrah · 02/11/2024 12:19

I doubt it, unfortunately. We were pretty set on Matthew for our DS for a while until DH admitted he hates 'Matt'.

I don't think ultimately you've got much control over nicknames anyway. My Godson has never answered to any shortened version of his name (there is a very common diminutive of it, along the lines of Christopher to Chris) but now he's at secondary school his friends call him a nickname nothing at all to do with his actual name.

Anisty · 02/11/2024 12:22

I know a jacob aged 22 and he has always been jacob.

Stick to your guns and correct people that shorten it.

Ime it is adults that shorten names, not other kids.

One of my ds is Samuel. He is adult now and all his pals always called him Samuel but teachers at school were a nightmare for using Sam.

And, some adults when he was little would ask me his name. I'd tell them Samuel and they'd immediately bend down to his level and address him as Sam!!!

I don't think you will have the same issue with jacob though. Correct any adult that gets it wrong in the early years and you will find all his friends just know him as jacob.

And be certain to clearly inform the school that his name is jacob.

If a teacher is jake this and that all day, the kids in the class will copy.

starpatch · 02/11/2024 12:24

I would just think carefully about why you ruled out Arthur Sebastian and Hugo. If it's just that your friends/ nct group buddies chose them then I think you can use them too and it's fine.

boysmuminherts · 02/11/2024 12:26

Arthur, Sebastian and Hugo all gorgeous names 😍
Saying that, as is Jacob. I know 2 teen boy Jacobs. One is Jacob or J and 1 is now Jake....

KimberleyClark · 02/11/2024 12:26

QuestionableMouse · 02/11/2024 12:05

I don't think you can.

Jacob is a lovely name and Jake is still nice.

And ime Jake's/Jacob's tend to be really good people!

Apart from Jacob Rees Mogg!

BMW6 · 02/11/2024 12:26

Surely Jacobs get nicknamed Crackers?

Outofthere · 02/11/2024 12:27

Adult son’s best friend is a Jacob. I’ve known him for almost 20 years and don’t think I’ve ever heard it shortened at all.

BlueMum16 · 02/11/2024 12:29

We know a Jacob. He's Jacob to all but his immediate family who call him Jay.

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