Friend interrupting when I am talking

[duckduckgooseduckagain]

I meet up with a close friend every few months. We get on well but I am getting increasingly annoyed with her interrupting me when I am speaking. I will be halfway through saying something and she will suddenly notice something and say (for example) "oh look at that dog, it's so cute" Last time I was saying something serious about my mum dying and she just switched subject, pointing at a poster on a wall that showed a band we both like and saying their name in an excited voice. AIBU for letting this really annoy me? What would you do?

ADHD. I have to absolutely scream at myself inside to not interrupt.

It's NEVER useful to interject. Wait your fucking turn. Let someone finish speaking.

Grrrrrrrdr

When you sit down to have a chat with your friend, pull a small sticking plaster from your pocket and take off the protective wrapping so it is ready to be used. If she asks what it's for tell her you are going to stick it over her mouth the next time she talks over you. If she doesn't ask then literally put it on her mouth when she interrupts you.

A work colleague does this to me.

Obviously I have to be professional.

I actually stop talking. I go silent and let them just go full steam ahead with their more important information. I offer no further contribution.

They don’t even notice I’m no longer with them in any meaningful conversation or discussion.

I feel dismissed, unimportant, invisible, stupid and like they don’t give a flying shit if I’m there or not. I might as well not be.

It’s incredibly self centred, and demonstrates zero self awareness in my opinion.

Hate it, it bothers me for the rest of the day after it has happened.

OP I see you say you ‘know your friend doesn’t have ADHD’. Sometimes with other people I think the best we can say is maybe so, maybe not.

Some experts on ADHD say that women with ADHD find their symptoms much harder to mask around times of hormonal shift.
So at puberty, with menstruation, in pregnancy and post birth, plus the peri years and around menopause. So if your friend has seemingly recently developed this trait, maybe have a chat with her. With more self knowledge it may be something your friend can exert even more self awareness on to try to not make it a thing that unintentionally hurts your feelings. Lots of stories on here of friends who talk about it, work around it and even joke together about it.

‘Blurting’ tends not to come from a bad place and sometimes the other person’s good intentions can be really helpful to consider to take the heat out of a mismatched ND/NT comfort zones situation.

Saying that I also agree with the implication of what Bunnyhair said. If this friend is your closest relationship in life, then her interrupting you a lot will get very difficult. But if it’s a friend your normally enjoy being with and you have other friends who reliably aren’t like this, OP, then maybe try having a direct chat about it with your friend before cooling off the whole friendship. She may have no idea of the effect of her words. She may be struggling in lots of other ways to manage with anxiety, lack of executive function and memory and attention problems- all part of the ADHD package. If it’s wasn’t the best friendship to begin with and it’s hurting you, you don’t need anyone’s permission to cool it off though.

Interjecting is different to interrupting & it's often a natural part of conversation, as long as the original talker is allowed to continue

I’ve had people do this to me before and silently seethed before. It’s not fair and you feel like crap. It’s only happened twice but one person took it well, the other person tried for a while but then carried on. After a while I stopped seeing her as it was so irritating.

@Brandnewskytohangyourstarsupon that is exactly what one of our employees kept doing to me (DH company) in the end I just gave up trying to say anything as it didn't matter what it was I said she would interrupt and talk over me. But apparently I was causing as atmosphere by making no effort to hold conversations with anyone because I was so quiet all the time while the employee was being blatantly rude all the time.

Hmm I plan what I need to say, make it extremely short, say it then stop.
Sometimes I get it out, most often I don’t.
I stop, sit back and withdraw.

Communication is shit.

FantalsFine - "you must find it so annoying when the middle of my sentences get in the way of the start of yours".

I am going to remember that sentence, as it's bloody marvellous.

OP, this annoys the tits off me and I have either called them out on it, or done what a previous poster said and just stopped talking. If they then notice that I have, and ask why, I then explain that they completely interrupted me and I assumed they didn't want me to talk any more.

DH used to do this all the time but I pull him up on it, every bloody time now rather than just let it go. He's learnt to stay schtum until I finish. I've always been brought up to 'never interrupt' as its viewed as being rude however DH says 'I grew up with 4 siblings and interrupting was the only way to be part of a conversation growing up!'...I just reply 'yeah, well you're just in a family of 4 now, with only 2 of us here, so the competing to be heard is bollocks...especially when you've not lived with your siblings for 40 years!'

A friend also interrupts all the time. She'll ask me a question and when I attempt to answer it, she barrages me with loads more questions so I don't get hence to answer anything. I just shut up and she just waffles and answers the questions herself 🥱I rarely pick up the phone to her these days cos I know I'll just snap at her. So bloody rude tho.