Saw a child with mum trick or treating at 11:20pm (school night here)

[fmla]

I was about to go to bed. Noticed outside was a girl aged 5-7 wearing a Halloween outfit with several of those one off glow necklaces (that made me draw attention to begin with) with her mum. They were going to paths to houses and knocked on a couple of doors.

Who in their right minds will answer the door that time of night, unless you are expecting it - member of household returning back from work etc or ordering that very late takeout delivery?

Half term was last week here. It's not acceptable for a young child to be out that time plus some of the streetlights switch off at 11pm. It doesn't matter if its half term or not,

If the mum was working until, say 9pm, then she should arrange with DD's friends' parents to go round with them. If that is the case that she finished work, who looked after DD after school?

YANBU OP,

that is exactly the sort of thing my gaslighting abusive mum would do to teach me that I was worthless that the normal childhood things were not for me. Taking a 5-7yr old out on what you know for a fact will be a fruitless, cold, dark ToT expedition is not for the child’s benefit. If it is making an effort, it is a spiteful effort to ensure your child ends up bitterly disappointed and thinking no one gives a shit and she can’t even get a sweet for Halloween.

this sort of behaviour includes gaslighting making the child think you care, building it up as a huge favour to them, and then enjoying dashing their hopeful excitement.

How do you know whether or not they were calling at specific friends' houses and if it was all arranged?

I guess peeping out the window and then posting on here lacks the required context.

Making an effort to? At 11.20 pm ? 😂

The girl might have had an afternoon nap. That's what we're doing today, as family party starting 6:30pm, which is their usual bedtime.

I doubt the visits were planned as one house was in total darkness.

Did you actually see them knock? You said they were looking at garden paths and went to a couple of houses. So could it have been houses with sweets left outside as a PP has mentioned

The people that knocked at my door at 10 were certainly not invited to. I fully expected to see a bunch of teens but nope, small children with adults.

@MrsPeregrine

Oh please! Do you really think this happened?

"Great minds" probably shouldn't be in AIBU, but I guess you don't have the braincell right now so I'll forgive you x

On another note. Hilariously ironic you're judging the contents of the thread for "ripping into a stranger" when you've done the exact same thing and questioned people's intelligence at the same time.

I assume you don't spend your day at work picking up the pieces left by poor parenting?

I had to double check it was 11:20 and not 1:20 because of all the "Oh I'd long be in bed by then". And then I remembered this is MN and people are all in bed by 9:30 and anyone out after 10pm is chancing their lives in the dead of night...

I went to see a show last night, there were young children there. It finished after 10pm. I'm sure it would be near 11 when some got home.

I can see a parent around here who for whatever reason (a family emergency had taken them away from home until late, had been to a party but child was grisly because they hadn't been out, parent worked late and childcare couldn't/wouldn't take them out...) posting on the local FB page or asking some local friends if they could just come knock their door. And one might be dark because they don't leave all the lights on but were expecting it so weren't in bed...

And a one off late night, on a Thursday so only one day before the weekend anyway, is hardly abuse or terrible or whatever.

I suspect the most likely explanation is that they had been at a party of similar and knocked on a couple of people they knew on the way home(probably pre arranged). Kids can go out late at night without turning into pumpkins.

Well, that's the context I'm referring to, and that was your door. My point was that in this case, the OP doesn't know but has still started a thread to bash a stranger.

It's a lot different having kids out late at a show to knocking on stranger's doors though?

I for one, couldn't give a crap about other children's bedtimes, whether it's school holidays etc, as it doesn't affect me, so not my business. It does affect me when they're knocking at my door and waking MY children up though.

This. Do you know what’s going on in their lives?
Maybe the child is ND and had a meltdown earlier and the mum didn’t want them to miss out so still took them out later?
Maybe the mum is a single parent and worked late and didn’t want the child let down.
Maybe the child has no friend group to go out with and mum didn’t want the child let down but could t go out earlier?
Maybe the child and mum are foreign and didn’t know that it’s usually earlier?

Whatever, all those are still a mum who cares. Get over yourself.

It slowed down here from 7pm and we got a surprise one at about 8.15pm (which I thought was late) I just took the stuff in as I wanted to watch Agatha All Along and scoff the rest of the sweets 😝

OP started a thread because to be fair, who in their right minds think it’s acceptable to knock doors at 11pm. If someone had knocked my door at that time I’d have ripped them a new arsehole. Setting my dog off and potentially waking my kids.

When my kids were babies, I had some charity worker ring my doorbell at 9:30pm, I told him it was completely unacceptable and complained to the charity.

Why does it matter “what’s going on” it’s unacceptable.

We don't know they were strangers... OP saw them out and go to 2 doors. They could have known them.

And the bedtime thing is a big part of what people are on about

I was just pointing out that it does happen though. And we can make all these wild and wonderful excuses why it might do but generally some people are inconsiderate twats.

It is too late but I wouldn't judge. For all we know, she may have promised this year she'd take her child to ToT, but got delayed, stuff happens, child sat waiting, who knows. She took her child out as promised. She might not have been out long.

I assume you didn't knock on doors though?

It was Diwali last night. If the mum was Indian she was probably knocking on the few doors of Indian families she already knows. Trick or treating in some parts of Leicester (I was told) lasted up to midnight last night with all kids (not just Hindu ones) going crazy as they got far more sweets than usual

I remember being taken out trick or treating far too late one year because my violent and controlling father decided, at about half nine (after I'd gone to bed), to start lecturing my mother about how not taking me meant that she was a shit parent and the only way to make him stop, at least temporarily, was to get me out of bed and take me then. You couldn't say no to him. It wasn't safe. (and TBH when you did what you were told he used that against you as well)

Yes, 11.20 is too late. But please bear in mind that you don't know what is happening behind closed doors and have a little compassion.

The replies on this are insane.

After 11pm at night! Come on, doesn’t matter what the reasons you don’t knock on strangers doors after 11pm.

If this is true, I can only imagine it was arranged with someone they knew

Not scary necessarily, but it's ridiculously late to be trick orctreating and many people will be in bed.

This resonates with me, my abusive mum was very similar. So sorry you had a tough childhood.