Saw a child with mum trick or treating at 11:20pm (school night here)

[fmla]

I was about to go to bed. Noticed outside was a girl aged 5-7 wearing a Halloween outfit with several of those one off glow necklaces (that made me draw attention to begin with) with her mum. They were going to paths to houses and knocked on a couple of doors.

Who in their right minds will answer the door that time of night, unless you are expecting it - member of household returning back from work etc or ordering that very late takeout delivery?

Half term was last week here. It's not acceptable for a young child to be out that time plus some of the streetlights switch off at 11pm. It doesn't matter if its half term or not,

If the mum was working until, say 9pm, then she should arrange with DD's friends' parents to go round with them. If that is the case that she finished work, who looked after DD after school?

They were much later where I am this year. The knocks didn’t start until around 8pm and continued for an hour or two.

I was still wandering around at 10:30 with my 6 year old. He'll be fine, it's half term. They might have been doors of people they know.

@Squirrelz5 it’s not half term where OP is.

Don’t be silly. MN is literally the only place where a knock on the door is scary. There’s this thing you can do called not answering. They weren’t barging the door down presumably so, no, it wouldn’t be scary. Absolutely ridiculous this website sometimes.

What?!

Making an effort - but the kid should be in bed not out on the street at that time. Making an effort would be doing something special at home if the mum couldn’t do trick or treating at an earlier time. Or book time off work if it’s that important.

OP is asking if she’s being unreasonable thinking 11pm is too late to go trick or treating. Seems most people agree.

Here, we were out 6pm ish and it felt like people were running out / winding down at that time. Can’t imagine still going round 5 hours later?!

Uncalled for. Are you having a bad time at the moment?

It's depressing isn't it. The school bullies have grown up (physically anyway) and now patrol AIBU.

Cool shut the site down then. Mind your own business and let's all stop discussing....anything?

I wouldn’t have answered at 11- we were asleep by then so yes I think there is a bit of a lack of judgement to take a small child out trick or treating at that time.

Just to add, my friend works all sorts of shifts at her job. Last year's Halloween she finished her shift at 10pm, She did not go home and take her DC who were 5 and 7 ToT. Instead they did Halloween themed stuff at home on days around the day. She only started her job a few months before and couldn't work an earlier shift.

There's more to Halloween than ToT'ing.

I'm not scared of answering the door but would worry what was wrong if some idiot knocked at 11pm!

I imagine they know the people in those houses and had arranged to knock at that time?

I would have been asleep by then. Last time I opened my door late at night, it was some drunken idiot who had mistaken my house for his- I had to call the police. I totally agree with the OP that trailing a young child round the streets at that time of night is both inappropriate and irresponsible.

I think this must be the case.

However, telling the OP to mind her own business is pointless. Trick or treating at that time of night is unusual. Most houses would be in darkness by then anyway.

Maybe they'd arranged to go then to someone that they know?

Absolutely this . I can't believe the direction the comments have gone here. Can guarantee if it was someone posting saying I want to take my kids trick or treating at 11pm aibu people would have jumped to say yes. It feels like this board is often just a place where people slate the OP regardless of their actual post

My mother let me watch gory drama like 'The Equaliser' after 10pm on weekday nights in the 1980s - I would hate to think that there were nosy intrusive people back then sticking their oar in and judging - But back then people were more resilient and certainly didn't judge like they do today.

It's one night. The child will be fine. Maybe there was a reason they couldn't have gone earlier - halloween is only one night of the year. I'm taking a guess and saying they must be houses of people they know. Yes a little unusual but it is completely impossible to know any of the multitude of circumstances that might be surrounding a child out at 11pm.

I'm assuming those having a go at the OP would be happy to have random people knocking on the door at 11pm.
It's far too late for a child of that age to be out, regardless of if it's Halloween or not.
My parents would be really worried if someone knocked on their door at that time of night. I wouldn't be too happy either.

FFS this must be the epitome of MN whataboutery.. some posters are almost Trumpian in their desperate need to 'create a truth' when reality is staring them in the fucking face ???

Who in their right mind would think trailing a 5-7 year old around the streets at 11pm at night - or even ONE house to their old and dying grandmother on a pre booked appointment ? Even if the mother was working double shifts in a home for orphans and kittens ?

No OP you are not unreasonable - it's irresponsible and ridiculous.

It is odd, I agree - but it could be due to any number of circumstances. Maybe she’s at a private school where half terms are two weeks at this time of year. Maybe she’s home educated and has a different schedule. Maybe her family couldn’t sort out trick or treating earlier for whatever reason and had arranged for it to happen late, as a one off, because of any of the above. So while I agree it wouldn’t be ideal under normal circumstances, it’s not really on to say “unacceptable” when we don’t know what’s going on? I’ve witnessed a few scenarios over the years where people have been really unpleasant on a “that child should be at school” basis, only to be told that the child is from a different area with different holiday dates/has an INSET day/is on his way home from a hospital appointment. So better not to judge when it’s people you don’t know.

Agree. We have no idea what happened to mean they ended up so late. Feckless parenting being at one end of the continuum and major life event at the other.

I can't believe people are falling over themselves to justify what is, at best, poor judgement from the mother. It would make me wonder what other poor parenting choices are being made tbh.

I'd like to know how many people justifying it have ever or would ever personally take their own small child out at that time for TorT? My guess is that none of them have or would.

But you have no idea and simply cannot creative a narrative from a snapshot of 5 minutes.
it may not be a school night - even if the area is on half term many now have 2 weeks (both mine do) and certainly a private school would
the mother may have collected her from going out with friends as as she knew them went to a couple of houses with her child
she may have left something and is going around checking the ones she knows are open

because going around at that hour with the fact most houses are shut for the night as you say isn’t something that normal so why does it have to be the truth

Yes seems a little late to knock

And likely people in bed - did they open the door if you were watching

And maybe no sweets left

We leave when dark and do

5/6 round our streets

6/7 opening our door

By 730 pumpkins in and lights off and leave a not on door saying sweets all gone

Have a 7yr and she's in bed 730 asleep