Pre-wedding email. Bit weird?

[bookworm8500]

Invited to a colleague's wedding evening do and had an email come through to all guests (unless it has just come to me 🤣). Maybe I've just hit the nail on the head 🤣

It states, amongst loads of other instructions, that,

'A small buffet will be provided. This is for all guests to enjoy, so please be considerate with your portion sizes'.

I've never seen anything like that before! AIBU to find that very weird to be on a pre-wedding email?!

I catered for an extra 10, and added extra chips on the night, the wedding started at 4, dinner at 5, finished at 6.30 and buffet at 8 x

We've still never told our close friends that we went hungry at their wedding.

The family went first and took plate fulls, and then pushed back in for seconds before everyone else had been up!!!

I wouldn't go. That invitation would give me the massive collywobbles and I'd be on edge the whole time. I am not well off at all, and our wedding was tightly budgeted, but there are ways to manage that without making your guests feel uncomfortable.

If they're too poor for a proper buffet without scolding and harassing people, they're too poor for however many guests they have invited. This is appalling manners on their part.

I grew up very poor in Scotland and under no circumstances would this ever, ever, ever have been ok. They'd have been mocked for the rest of their lives for being tight fisted, miserable skinflints.

Are some people really so obsessed with food that they'd boycott someone's wedding over it? How sad (in both senses of the word).

This ^ I work in the industry, bet it's bacon or sausage sandwiches.

Nope, I have food intolerances and rarely eat anything other people provide for fear of getting sick.

It's the disgusting ill manners and the fact that they are making very inhospitable demands of their guests in advance that would put me off.

Don't invite people if you can't afford to feed them. Don't shame anyone in advance for an imaginary infraction. Don't offer people a meal and then give them a vague demand that they don't eat too much.

If they are too poor to not worry about a buffet they should not be having a buffet. This email has made them sound like miserable, scolding skinflints.

I think that's really sad. It's supposed to be about celebrating the marriage not filling your face.

I always eat before I go to anything with a buffet as I hate beige buffet food! Then I can just pick at a few crisps without loading the old plate up. Quite funny though that they spelt it out so bluntly!

Also guessing at GenZ couple, they say it how it is to their guests with absolutely no remorse.

Honestly, it was too little food. a slice of pizza each is just not enough for catering.

To be honest though, it's also poor form to share this publicly - bet it ends up in the Daily Mail.

Basically, instead of saying we'd love for you to be there, they've said you can come so long as you don't eat too much. It's quite a rude invitation.

You mean they're rude? Is that a trait of Gen Z? I always get mixed up with the various Gens.

It was quite some time ago, and the venue has long since been knocked down and turned into a housing estate 🤣 I don’t think a bad review would hurt them much now.
I had no clue because I was having fat too good a night and was probably outside having a crafty last few cigarettes (promised myself I wouldn’t smoke after the wedding, ever again)

I'm not obsessed with food, but I am autistic and find this sort of vague instruction and social awkwardness excruciating. If I got this invitation I would definitely decide that this event wasn't for me. Not because I'm a massive glutton 🙄

It's a party so you are a host and therefore host your guests. I am a very light eater when drinking so I would probably eat very little but people are there for the party so food has to be provided.

Nope, the church/weddingy bit is about celebrating the marriage.

The party afterwards is supposed to be a party, with food, drinks and fun, like any other party, but even more generous in spirit and in practical terms because the bride and groom want everyone to have a fantastic time and share in their joy.

No, we didn't have an all day wedding...we added the pizza and chips as a late night snack... after. 3 course meal at 6.30pm.

We went with what the hotel advised, the same guests were there throughout.

How rude and presumptuous it was about cost! I asked them to cater as a late snack only, I could have gone with bacon butties.

The issue was I should have asked the staff to serve not just spread on a table!

This. Don't have a wedding this size if you can't alter for everyone. This email is so sad.

Yes, the vagueness is awful. How much is too much?

Far better to have a set menu and everyone chooses their own plate and nobody has to worry about how much to take.

Except, they're out to scrimp and scrape and have invited too many people, or not paid for a big enough buffet, and now instead of owning that they're making people feel unwelcome.

Huge fail, and will create issues with most of the guests.