Haven’t paid rent in months!

[Uppoopcreek]

I’ve just realised I haven’t paid my rent in around 6 months! I don’t know how this could have happened?
ive lived here around 4 years. All I can think is I set up a standing order a while ago and it didn’t work properly?
now, I have pretty severe MH problems. Awful anxiety and depression(probable ADHD but still waiting for an appointment to start the process). I never check my bank, I’m behind with other bills, too. I’m a bury my head in the sand type of person, but worry constantly about everything, About a month ago I hit rock bottom. Won’t go into details, but it wasn’t great.
I have 3 DC, and I’m on benefits.
Help! What do I do?! Had a text from landlord last night asking me to call him, which is what’s just prompted me to look now. I was asleep when he text.

You know how to grind my gears. I'm one off those people who buried their head in the sand, just hoping it would all be OK. I kept everything to myself. I ended up in hospital, full mental breakdown. I was there for 8 weeks & my kids were not taken off me!!!! Unfortunately I did loose my home but I finally got the help I needed. We found a new home & with a great team behind me, lots of deep therapy, I'm through the other side 🙂.

I wouldn't wish what happened to me to my worst enemy 😕 . I'm glad your perfect 😇

I’m back. I assure you this is genuine and I’m most definitely not after money from strangers on the internet!
Spoken to LL and we’re going to try and find a solution that works for us both. If not, they’ll be putting the house on the market.
he was so lovely and I’m very grateful to him for being so understanding

I think the problem is "ostrich syndrome" does not actually help people get out of a situation where they are not paying their bills because not paying your bills have consequences such as getting evicted. We all have to pay our bills regardless of individual circumstances. Someone you owe a bill to is entitled to receive the money.

Awk I'm so pleased for you!!! Be kind to yourself. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Of course it doesn't... I don't think you've understood what it is.

It's not something people like me set out to do on purpose, it is something we can't help doing, or really struggle not to do.

It is fucking destructive and horrible to live with, lying there at night with all these worries racing through your head but you cannot make yourself check this, look for that, make a phone call, send an email.

Saying 'the problem is 'ostrich syndrome' does not actually help people get out of a situation'... is like saying 'catching flu doesn't help people feel well' or 'having your legs hacked off with a chain saw does not help you walk'...

We know it doesn't fucking help. Some people need more help to do these things, to avoid getting into a mess, than others.

How come needing a wheelchair because someone can't walk is accepted, but needing help with ND related issues isn't. They're both disabling, is the person with the wheelchair also just lying and doing it for attention? Do they need to just get a grip and get on with it because all have to, regardless of individual circumstances?

Im not sure you meant to quote me, or if you did, you understood what I was saying...

What sort of solution are you hoping for OP? Can you pay double rent until you’ve caught up?

Looks like it's all getting sorted 👌

Sorry, haven't read whole post. But If you are on Universal Credit you can ask them to make a payment arrangement to pay your rent directly to your landlord and pay instalments on arrears.

A tenner on a taxi instead of a bus because it's raining; a luxury ready meal from the supermarket😯🤔. Then you don't pay your rent 😐. When I was a child and we were on benefits, every penny was a prisoner. We walked around a mile to a cheap supermarket, bought cheap food, walked a mile back to the bus stop, struggled on to the bus with a clapped out trolley, got off the bus and walked around another half mile to our house. A luxury was having toilet roll instead of yesterday's newspaper. If you're reliant on benefits, without meaning to be controversial, you shouldn't have an expectation of luxury supermarket meals or taxis to avoid a bit of rainfall.

OK, I totally get what you are saying now. Sorry crossed wires on my side

Well said 👏 xxxx

This was a response to WiddlinDiddlin but seems to have been attached to you, sorry

She sounds like one of the unreliable ones though unfortunately...

Register with your councils housing service and look to see if they have immediately available properties. These are generally i. less favoured areas, or are flats. We moved into one a while ago and the only thing we lost was internal stairs.

Do any councils have immediately available properties these days? I thought there were massive waiting lists

If you are seeing a psychiatrist OP they can write you a supportive letter to you landlord.
Also your psychiatrist can refer you and your children directly for council housing to your council.

I'm not sure swearing about it helps anyone. People in a wheelchair (a subject you've raised) still have to pay their bills. People on benefits, whether it's a physical or mental ailment still have to pay their bills. If they need help, CAB or StepChange or in some cases Councils have debt help depts too. People with mental ill health are unlikely to feel better if they get evicted. The landlord is entitled to be paid. Please avoid swearing at me if you decide to reply. It is unnecessary and offensive

I’m not sure you’d be saying that if you were the landlord or the guarantor

Trust me as someone who is often paralysed, we know this. As I said in my other post, I have lost over £100,000 due to this. Only this year have I been diagnosed with ADHD. At 47. And the diagnosis doesnt mean all the bad things that I do disappear. No. Granted, I have never done this with bills. The idea of owing money probably terrifies me too much

I think you should ask a trusted person to help you check your finances, your rent and other bills. I understand you have MH issues but financial instability will only add to that. A close friend, a family member, someone who (for example) once in a fortnight sits down with you and checks everything is as it should be.

Well yes I would be saying the same thing. As I said she's not done a truly horrible evil crime, thankfully. People are so easy to judge 👩‍⚖️ 🤔 oh she hasn't paid her bills, she has mental health issues, those poor kids shouldn't be with her!! Get a grip 🙄. I'd be offering help, a little understanding. Kindness costs nothing 😌 ✨️

Glad she has spoken to her LL 👏

Sorry but I find that hard to believe. You must have noticed your rent wasn’t being paid and have to accept some responsibility.
when on a tight budget I would know where every penny was going.

If you get housing benefit or equivalent on Universal credit, you can arrange for it to be paid directly to your landlord from the Dwp so you don't need to worry about paying it. Then find a way to repay the 6 months rent. Look up dave ramsay and rachel cruze on Facebook for budgeting help

I’m sorry but that might help with the landlord but it won’t help if they choose to evict her.

If you owe two months rent when you are served with a notice that they intend to issue eviction proceedings under Ground 8 mandatory grounds for eviction, and you still owe that at the date of the court hearing the judge has no discretion, tney have to order an eviction. The only discretion is whether to allow you two weeks or six weeks to leave your home.

That’s the law, sorry. But people need to be aware.

It sounds like you’re going through an incredibly tough time, and it’s totally understandable how things like this can slip through the cracks when you're managing so much.

Hitting rock bottom and trying to cope with MH challenges can make keeping track of finances overwhelming, especially if you’re in a "survival mode" mindset.

First, take a deep breath. There are ways to address this, and there’s support available. Here are some steps that might help:

It may feel daunting, but reaching out to your landlord is a positive step. Explain that you've just realized what’s happened and are committed to sorting things out. Many landlords are more understanding than we expect, especially if you’re upfront.

Charities like Citizens Advice or Shelter can provide free financial counseling and help you negotiate a repayment plan, which could make this manageable.

They can also check if you’re getting all the benefits you’re entitled to and help set up payment arrangements for other bills if needed.

Consider reaching out to your benefits office to see if they can help set up a direct rent payment to your landlord. This can relieve some of the stress of keeping track each month.

Tackling finances with anxiety and depression is hard. Connecting with MH support groups or talking to your doctor about additional support might give you some breathing room. Managing your mental health will make handling other challenges easier in the long run.

Remember, you’re doing the best you can, and taking even small steps to address this shows real strength. One step at a time, and you don’t have to do it alone.