Haven’t paid rent in months!

[Uppoopcreek]

I’ve just realised I haven’t paid my rent in around 6 months! I don’t know how this could have happened?
ive lived here around 4 years. All I can think is I set up a standing order a while ago and it didn’t work properly?
now, I have pretty severe MH problems. Awful anxiety and depression(probable ADHD but still waiting for an appointment to start the process). I never check my bank, I’m behind with other bills, too. I’m a bury my head in the sand type of person, but worry constantly about everything, About a month ago I hit rock bottom. Won’t go into details, but it wasn’t great.
I have 3 DC, and I’m on benefits.
Help! What do I do?! Had a text from landlord last night asking me to call him, which is what’s just prompted me to look now. I was asleep when he text.

You don't believe mental illness exists, do you?

What about the landlord's MH? Lost a son and now his tenant is in arrears.

Exactly this. The OP is a chancer and now he's engaged with something that wasn't previously his problem, post his initial overwhelming grief, which he still feels, he's uncovered the fact that she's been taking the mick for 6 months. I'd be starting eviction proceedings pronto.

The OP may not be a chancer and may well have genuine mental health problems. Ultimately, though, that is not her landlord's problem to solve. He's not a charity.

If this is a genuine post, what I find alarming is that three children are part of this situation. If their Mum has been so unwell, who’s looking after them?

Credit card companies don’t give a shit about your mental health.
Either does your phone carrier or your wifi or internet provider — and I notice @Uppoopcreek has easily posted her dilemma online.
Why should landlords be any different?

My rent in California was great. It was a flat rate and included the electricity — which is great, because of the heat and we have aircon.
But not surprisingly, they went bankrupt and the new owners charge us that same flat rate plus our electricity - which adds about $400-500 per month. Ouch.
Still, they’re nice and they fix everything within a couple of hours and most importantly, it’s safe here.
And feeling safe is worth about $5Million/month.

It's because shes contradicted herself that people are judging. If she was honest and said look I've ended up spending my rent, meant to out it back but I just got carried away, most people would sympathise. But shes basically come on here lying expecting us all to believe it.

There is absolutely no way shes been crippled by the COL and not noticed shes had a massive increase in her income at the same time. Absolutely no way. Because for most of us, when we are struggling we literally count every penny.

I sympathise with someone who dipped into their rent money, meant to put it back and it ended up spiralling. I get that. But coming on here lying to us to get sympathy just pisses people off. She knew what she was doing and that's fine, doesnt affect any of us. No need to lie and try and get sympathy in a different way

I don't see how the COL makes it more likely that you'd notice, I think it makes it less likely...

Lets say the old landlord dies, so that bank account is shut, OP doesn't get the letter/email saying 'we need you to set up a new standing order' because they're ignoring their mail...

Cost of everything goes up but they're not paying attention to the exact costs of anything - I can tell you right now, I have zero clue what my gas or electricity bill costs, I do not know the price of a loaf of bread, a pint of milk, I don't know what our weekly shop costs as we don't have one, himself just goes out when we run out of shit...

If it were just me here it would be very very easy to not realise the price of everything has gone up, and the only reason I am not getting my card declined everywhere is that its the rent payments covering the increase.

I am not in a pickle because himself does keep track of the direct debits and standing orders and I earn a smidgen more than we spend most months, and big spends come out of savings (although we now have next to no savings left as a result of several big spends recently). This truly is more by luck than design though!

That could change and if I were on my own... I could very easily get in the shit, particularly as I have the temptation of a credit card which is for emergency use only and will give me 10K credit!

It's funny how if this was written from the children's point of view in 20 years the replies would be very different.
"AIBU to go no contact with my mother due to her spending habits and never taking responsibility. She even got us evicted when we were growing up and upset friends who tried to help by being guarantors."

It is so easy to spend more than you realise when you're not checking your bank. I do it frequently. I have no clue how people on UC are managing. I earn above NMW and I'm struggling hard.

There's been more than one occasion where my wages are gone 3 days after I've been paid. If OP is on pre-payment meters they'll be costing her an extra £15 a week, more if she is not being frugal. Food shopping for 3 children and an adult is bound to be £20+ more a week, it could be a massive rise if OP is not deliberately budgeting it and is buying the same as she always has. Phone and BB charges have risen.

Add to that the chancing your luck because your card is not declining and spending the odd tenner here and there on something not necessarily frivolous but not exactly needed either eg a nice meal from the "luxury" range at the supermarket or a packet of sweets and a drink each for the kids on the way home from school, a tenner out of the cash machine to pay for a taxi instead of the bus because it's raining...

That extra few quid you're spending here and there without counting can easily add up to more than £100 a week with the added rise because of COL without you realising. You know you're spending more but until you run out and are forced to check your bank you have no idea how much more.

This wasn’t directed at me but as I’ve said previously, I have ADHD and history of anxiety/depression. I still think there’s absolutely no excuse for any of this, particularly when the OP has three children she’s responsible for. IMO it’s absolutely unacceptable to threaten their security and it makes me seriously question whether the OP is a fit parent at all.

So why not check your balance regularly? It's very easy to keep track nowadays with apps and online banking. There really is no excuse for not noticing 6 months worth of rent money not going out!

It is so easy to spend more than you realise when you're not checking your bank

Then check your bank?

Missing the point.

You actually believe this steaming pile of bull crap? No one doesn't notice they haven't paid their most expensive bill for six months if I didn't do that I'd have 6k extra in my bank account. She apparently has three kids so it can't be a small place plus renting privately not the council so you know her rent isn't cheap.
A close family member is schizophrenic their mental health is so bad they would never be allowed to be responsible for three kids and even they would notice straight away if their rent money wasn't going out their bank account.

No really, just check your bank balance. Just do it. It’s helpful in the long run and actually quite easy to do.

Why are people more annoyed at a landlord who wants the money they should have but not annoyed at someone who accidentally spent the 6 months rent they owed to a bereaved father?

It is easy to check your balance but when you know no matter how you do your sums things aren't gonna add up it is depressing and easy to avoid, even without mental health issues.

I hate checking my bank for that reason. I've just been paid and after rent, topping up the gas, paying for my driving lesson and paying the broadband bill over 2 thirds of my wages are gone and I'll be skipping lunch again this week to make sure we can afford to heat the house for an hour a day and I work fulltime. I can't even begin to imagine how hard people in OP's situation are finding things.

Luckily, I will eventually pass my driving test and have that expense reduced dramatically, plus I can use my new driving licence to find a better job so I know there is end in sight. How demoralising must it be to mot have that light at the end of the tunnel? I wouldn't want to check my bank and confirm how much money I didn't have if I was in OP's shoes and I don't have any mental health struggles.

Come on the op is trolling stop tying yourself in knots thinking of reasons for it to be true, there's millions of people in the ops position, I've been there in fact I've been broker than broke as I started my family before 21 and 21 year olds can legally be paid less than minimum wage.

If anything being broke is a reason to notice straight away that you're suddenly able to buy loads more without your card declining.

On a side note and this is going to sound harsh but if her mental health is so bad she doesn't notice thousands of extra pounds in her bank account then her mental health is probably causing loads of other problems too and social services should probably be checking on them kids

Don’t be ridiculous. Of course it exists but it is not an excuse to ignore paying your rent. What about the landlord or the OP children security?

Absolutely! And laughably (although not funny ha ha) they think they're the moral upstanding ones!!

Checking your bank account and managing money is about being a responsible adult even more so when you have children. It is not up to the landlord or anyone else to do it for you.

The op is relying on benefits. Maybe if she got a job she would be better off financially and mentally

@Uppoopcreek did you phone your landlord yesterday, as planned? His did the conversation go? Hopefully you were able to sort out some sort of payment plan to resolve the issue?