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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Passive father, son is 5 and a half years old and he never took him out by himself

62 replies

elenna55 · 29/10/2024 17:19

Hi everyone, I wanted to see a fresh perspective on my concern that I have over my husband who is being a very passive parent. I have mentioned this to my husband on various occasions, and I said that I see it odd that he doesn't want to go out with his son on his own. He will only come if I ask him to come with us, and even when his own son asks him to come along with us to the park he flatly refuses.

Our son is 5 and a half years old, and my husband has never been out with him on his own even once! He doesn't take him to any extracurricular activities, he doesn't plan any holidays for him. He says that a 5 year old goes to school and he doesn't need anything else. That he won't go on a family holiday as it is too much stress. Therefore, I am lucky enough that my mum goes with us and we do travel with her instead of my husband. He is very passive and would spend all of his free time sitting, either on the sofa, in front of the laptop or sitting in the garden always with his headphones on!

He doesn't contribute financially either, as all the cost for travelling, outing and extracurricular activities I cover.

I wanted to see if I am the one being unreasonable for wanting the father to actually participate in his son's life outside the house, and every now and then take him to the park or soft play. Just wanted to clarify, that the father plenty of free time that he could use to do that.

OP posts:
starsbrawl · 29/10/2024 17:20

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Comedycook · 29/10/2024 17:21

Do you live together? What do you mean he doesn't contribute financially? Does he work? Pay bills?

saveforthat · 29/10/2024 17:21

Well I'm pretty sure you know YANBU so I really can't see the point of this thread.

Igmum · 29/10/2024 17:23

Agree. What does this Prince among men actually add to your life?

I feel a LTB coming on.

AmandaHoldensLips · 29/10/2024 17:25

So he's effectively the sperm donor and nothing else since.

Harvestfestivalknickers · 29/10/2024 17:26

What a poor role model for your son. I feel sad for your him.

Justcallmebebes · 29/10/2024 17:27

That's pretty sad. You say he spends his time sitting around at home with headphones on, so it doesn't sound as though he participates much in any sort of family life

Glad you have your mum to do stuff with as he sounds like a really crap dad and husband

MoneyMill · 29/10/2024 17:29

Was he a complete prick before your son was born or just since?

Soonenough · 29/10/2024 17:30

Does he work and contribute financially to the household? Otherwise what actual use is he ? Please don't settle for this for you or your son. Gonna say it LTB

Vettrianofan · 29/10/2024 17:31

I am curious how you ended up with deciding to have a DC together? He can't be that passive!🤣

Victoriancat · 29/10/2024 17:31

So why are you with this melt?

Darkfloods · 29/10/2024 17:33

Do you do anything together?

ThePoshUns · 29/10/2024 17:33

Jesus what a useless prick. Your poor son deserves better and so do you. What do your parents say?
He needs to shape up or ship out

Maray1967 · 29/10/2024 17:37

So he sits at home and does nothing with his child. How on earth did you end up with such a useless bloke?
I would have booted him out long ago.

Jessica167353 · 29/10/2024 17:37

Do you genuinely even need to ask??

Carouselfish · 29/10/2024 17:42

He is a pointless lump. Tell him he is missing out on his child's life and he will have plenty of time to sit on a screen with headphones on when he's dumped alone in an old people's home.

User37482 · 29/10/2024 17:44

Get rid. Then he can sit in a room staring at the wall to his hearts content. This can’t be great for your sons self esteem.

GrazingLamb · 29/10/2024 17:44

Does he have a golden penis?

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/10/2024 17:47

Do you imagine all fathers are so useless and pathetic? If not why have you put up with it for 5 years?

How you can feel anything other than contempt for him is beyond belief. Come the fuck on.

Brainstorm23 · 29/10/2024 17:50

Get this pointless lump out of your life. I say this as someone who had a similar father except that he worked 6 days a week as a farmer to support our family. What does this lump bring to the party?

VivianLea · 29/10/2024 18:02

When you say he doesn't contribute financially do you mean that he doesn't contribute to the family pot at all, or specifically to extra curricula activities?

OP he is useless. You'd be better off single.

Purplecatshopaholic · 29/10/2024 18:11

Why are you putting up with this waste of space..?

Scutterbug · 29/10/2024 18:12

Passive? More like a shit father.

Edenmum2 · 29/10/2024 18:16

So what DOES he bring to your life?

converseandjeans · 29/10/2024 18:17

I can't really see the point of having him in the house. That's ridiculous that he won't take him out of the house or go on holiday as a family.