Age 56. Can't be arsed at work anymore.

[Whosaidthattt]

I'm a tired 56 year old. All these 'initiatives' and 'CPD'- I just can't be bothered anymore. Been there, did that 20 years ago. I have NO INTEREST in pretending to be excited/motivated by these 30 year olds and their enthusiasm! I get that they are young and excited about how they can change things but I just can't be arsed. Hoping to retire at 60 but that means another 4 years of excited puppies bounding about with their ideas. I'm not sure I can take it (or even care). How can I get through this final part of working life?? Help!!!

I’m in my 30s. Just had first child.

A lot of women in my baby group are giving up work because there’s either:

• No childcare
• Expensive childcare that outstrips their wage or leaves them barely any profit

A lot of women in my age group aren’t feeling fulfilled by work anymore and would rather raise their kids. For our generation, what’s really the point? Most of us can’t afford houses or more than one kid so work feels fairly futile and just something we have to do for barely any reward.

I absolutely hear you, OP.
Make sure you have as much as possible for your retirement, you don't have to be fucking enthusiastic.
My enthusiasm (not work related) left me at the age of 42.
🍀

I used to feel this way in my forties. Then I took a new job and it's revitalised my interest in work. Maybe switch it up and try something different?

Yep! 56 here too and think my eye rolling at work must be audible by now 😂 topping up my pension as much as I can, and planning to start reducing my hours once DS graduates and is hopefully self sufficient next year. Probably unlikely to retire fully for a good few years yet but hoping part time will be better x

I'm in tech, think California based global, senior and well paid and 53.

I don't do pronouns or engage in any nonsense because IDGAF

It's mainly irrelevant to my team and the results we drive.

I get less of that thankfully and hardly ever meet the one person whose ego is ridiculous.

Working from home at least part of the week does mean less of the people who you would never choose to be with in anything outside work.

Absolutely this. I couldn’t give a toss if I’m ‘misgendered’ I’d laugh but I care very much about safeguarding and the erosion of women’s rights to pander to a misogynistic and homophobic ideology.

I’ve had to fight against sexism and misogyny all my life in a male dominated industry. Ill be equally polite and respectful to everyone, in and out of work but I’ll be damned if I’m going to roll over to pacify entitled men again.

Hello, I've only read your OP but there was a long and interesting thread on this a while ago, loads of us feel the same. I am the same age and basically do what I need to do, nod and smile and just try not to get too wound up by the wheel being reinvented and by 20 somethings thinking they know it all. When they most definitely do not!

I've just been reminded to sign up for a sexual harassment workshop. I really really don't need to be told how to not sexually harass anyone!

I ended up bounced into retirement early than expected due to a period of poor health. I was going to temp for a bit. I'd done it before and enjoyed it - if you are halfway competent everyone loves you but the pandemic put paid to that for various reasons and I've never done paid work again.

It wasn't so much youth and enthusiasm that got me - that's refreshing. I've always loved learning new things, particularly technology so, far from being a dinosaur, my young manager used me as her sounding board when we had to work out how to do anything new. I was given a split role part of which focused on developing new initiatives, etc. That was all great.

However, there is an issue with having a bias in the team for people who are highly ambitious which does come with youth. In my experience it was their burning desire to be 'seen' and to impress the higher ups. This led to a whole pile of unnecessary 'busyness' just for show. Worse, it led to putting up their hands for activities which weren't actually part of our team's specific remit and setting completely unrealistic objectives just to impress the CEO. Then you'd get other ambitious members of the team cheerleading on it as being seen as enthusiastic was everything.

Thing is, they didn't seem to care so much about delivering and generally came up with a reason why it wasn't their fault. They just cared about talking a good talk. The people who cared more about their reputation for delivering burnt out.

This is why, if I ever hear anyone mention the words 'let's have a quick team meeting' on a TV programme or whatever, my left eye still starts to twitch.

Try and go to 4 days. It's a good interim move.

I'm the same age (ish) to you. I hate to say "at our age" but I'm going to...at our age I've found time and years to go by so quickly...4 years really will go by and you will have survived it. I know it's hard in a job you probably hate or have to stay in for the money and/or benefits....but even if you can't move jobs, start planning now,start romanticising what you can do with your life in 4 years.

I fought for years with managers and supervisors that I no longer wanted to climb the ladder, attend courses, mentor, whatever, whatever and tbh all it did was give me a bad name. Whilst I'd like to say "at my age" I didn't care...I did! I haven't worked hard and diligently so, to have that said about me ...so just keeping quiet was the better option. I also went with the not seen or heard option...whilst I never socialised with my colleagues...ever...I also stopped going in the staffroom at lunch, I'd sit in meetings in the back and say nothing, I'd arrive on time and leave on time...all quiet quitting I suppose. And it worked for me ..the excited puppies didn't even notice, just gave them more space and platform I suppose.

You'll be fine, 4 years seems a long time today and you'll look back in 4 years and think where did the time go.

I have just had to do one of those and in the examples it is always a man harrassing a woman. I feel so deflated that they try to create the illusion that men and women are treated the same concerning everything else in the workplace and then I have to do such a BS course as a woman because MEN need that sort of training. It's disgusting.

This thread might help

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/3145470-Break-it-down-for-me?page=1

It’s not unknown for older women to harass young men in the workplace

Im in a law firm. Egos everywhere.

Hopefully you are learning g from all this and putting enough (not minimum) money into your pension!

How depressing for everyone. How did you feel about people like you when you were young and fresh? Maybe you could do with a new challenge.

As a 41 year old I respectfully disagree. I have changed jobs a few times, and I even took a major career tangent a decade ago which fixed things for a while. I am at he point where I know with 100% certainty that, unless there are serious issues with the job/workplace/salary, that changing jobs fixes nothing. It is simply a band aid.
I can say with 100% confidence that I have never bought into the bullshit that comes down from above in a big organisation. I have my annual PDR coming up and I am already thinking about ways to politely phrase the fact that I don't care about the organisations strategy and how my objectives for the next year fit into it. The annoying thing is I am also a manager so I have to keep up a certain level of pretence so that my team don't think I've lost the plot, plus I really need the money so I am basically just playing the long game.
One of my team who is late 50's even said to me when I took on her management that she is literally just here to work (and she is a good worker) and doesn't have any interest in CPD or pretending to care about PDRs. I had to stop myself saying I feel exactly the same way! Instead I just acknowledged that she was entitled to feel that way and I'm fine with it as long as she does her job.

I'm in my 60s and always go the extra mile for my patients and I dsmned well know what I'm doing after 40 years but I do not need management adding unnecessary work to my day so they can get promotions for their "innovations".

Nope, not doing compelled speech and that's what it is. Many of us are old enough to say fuck that to 'be kind' when that translates as 'do what we want'

And #bekind only seems to work in one direction

Yes, but @Gettingbysomehow , I stood in a shop years ago listening to a nurse saying exactly the same thing about the handwashing initiative. Some innovations and CPD are bullshit, some badly explained or negotiated, and some are vital, eg updates on new knowledge. Like everything, it depends.

I completely agree. As a woman who would be vanishingly unlikely to assumed to be anything else, to have to publicly declare that I wish to be referred to by the pronouns that have always been used for my sex is completely unnecessary. Therefore there would only be one reason for me to do this, which would be to make a public declaration of support for gender ideology.

I find the argument about making other people comfortable disingenuous and manipulative. I do not have to support gender ideology myself or join in with what for me would be a piece of farcical theatre (telling people to refer to me, an obvious woman as she) in order to support and further the comfort of those who do believe in gender ideology. All I need to do is respect their right to hold that belief and allow them to state their own pronouns if they feel there is a risk others may use ones they don't want. I also find the constant inference that not believing in gender ideology is old fashioned and conservative offensive. It's a blatant attempt to associate these views with negative ageist stereotypes, when in reality the young people who believe in gender ideology are in a minority. They are just rarely in positions of sufficient power to feel they can admit it if its embedded in the culture.

And #bekind only seems to work in one direction

This. Female people's boundaries, spaces, language etc imposed on by the wishes of males. As ever. Same old same old.