Age 56. Can't be arsed at work anymore.

[Whosaidthattt]

I'm a tired 56 year old. All these 'initiatives' and 'CPD'- I just can't be bothered anymore. Been there, did that 20 years ago. I have NO INTEREST in pretending to be excited/motivated by these 30 year olds and their enthusiasm! I get that they are young and excited about how they can change things but I just can't be arsed. Hoping to retire at 60 but that means another 4 years of excited puppies bounding about with their ideas. I'm not sure I can take it (or even care). How can I get through this final part of working life?? Help!!!

God I hate it. I'm 62 and have to grin and bear but I absolutely refuse to go on any team building away days, that's just one step too far.
Only another 5 years to go. Same old shit for the past 45 years.

Look for another job that you might enjoy more?

My solution at 57 was to take a buy out, and we also saw a financial planner for many years, so I knew it was OK to retire. You probably have done this, but a financial planner will really help you see when you can leave your job and what your retirement might be like. The last two years at work, I worked hard, but I had a game plan when I could retire, and that helped a lot.

This: the office environment and bad management.

Add to that any lack of thanks/appreciation or just a tiny bit of recognition that you make their lives easier.

And the egos, huge egos.

You need time, money and a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Your current situation isn't giving that. But stopping work unless you have a ton of savings won't give you that either.

Start your own business. Run it while you're still working then you can make the transition to being fully self employed after retirement (or earlier). Doing your own thing, a thing you enjoy, take it or leave it, be the one they need - I LOVE IT.

Also this. My parents have been in decline since 68, now pretty much immobile. Go nowhere, do nothing.

i want at least 10 good years to spend travelling and enjoying life with my husband after the kids have left home.

i see this from both sides currently.

My DD is an eager young puppy - recently recruited to a Systems Management and Implementation role. She is so enthusiastic about all the great changes that are afoot but constantly frustrated by older, more established staff, even the directors that appointed her, resisting change and wanting to carry on with the old ways.

DH OTOH has worked very successfully in the same industry for decades. He is in his 60s and insists on making all his notes and calculations in paper, not using the software designed for it. His job involves writing contracts and he still writes these with a fountain pen in big ledgers before eventually typing them into word. He refuses to go to team meetings saying people will tell him what's important. It's a very specialised role and he is resisting training up his agreed successor for the day he eventually retires. He's a lovely man personally but very resistant to change at work and at home. He must drive his younger colleagues and managers absolutely insane.

At least you're being honest about it, so many of your generation aren't because they're too busy trying to point the finger at the younger.

I’m 59 and wish I had a job!

I was quite well off and left work when I had my DC at 43 and hoped to have a couple of years of being a SAHM and then it all went rapidly downhill.

DH had a cancer diagnosis and left work due to ill health. We then moved to a cheaper rural area so we could buy a house outright with no mortgage. We live on DH’s work pension and very frugally.

I had a specialist job in a niche industry and the nearest similar employer is a 90 min drive away so that won’t work as DH doesn’t drive (sight problems) and I still need to do the school run.

I’m too old to retrain and employers are not interested in employing a fat middle age woman when they can have a cheaper attractive youngster on display. 😢

I haven’t got enough NI contributions for a full pension and so if my DH dies first, I’ll have to drive off a cliff as I won’t be able to afford to live on the reduced pension.

The future is looking shit frankly! 😳

Me too. Mid-50s and exhausted by menopause, caring for elderly parents and a sick DH. The amount of brain space I have left for work is very small. Ironically I’m the most senior I’ve ever been in my career and on the highest salary. Luckily my boss understands that I just want to do a good job and avoid the corporate bullshit and that I’m not looking for promotion or more responsibilities. I don’t volunteer for initiatives even if they look interesting as I think the younger and less experienced team members would appreciate the opportunity more. I had some great mentors of my age when I was younger and I try and pay it forward now.

Ive also been disappointed when surviving rounds of redundancy. Apparently my wide experience and range of skills means I’m more valuable to my boss as I can cover all the jobs the team does as it shrinks, whereas others have specialised in only one role.

I’m fortunate in having some company pensions that I could take if I retired early - DH and I could survive until 67 with very careful budgeting. However my desire to do more than survive on retirement is keeping me working to build up a bit more buffer. Knowing the mortgage is already paid off and we do have options does help get through the times when it feels a bit relentless.

I agree.

And by the time most of us get to this age we are also often bogged down with caring for elderlies, sometimes still with DC at home, it is hard to stay enthused when you haven't got the capacity.

You obvs have v strong views about it. I respect that, though disagree with you. I don’t give a shit what people prefer to be called. It doesn’t affect me. I only care about making sure they feel comfortable by being respectful and kind.

For example, I object to being referred to as a ‘guy’ (‘you guys’) because I’m a woman, not a guy. A man would probably object to being called the equivalent of a ‘gal’ (you gals’). But (for me) ‘guys’ is worse, as it assume the patriarchal male. When people refer to me as a guy, I sometimes politely explain I’m not a guy and find it sexist. But it is tiresome. Sometimes (when said rather than written), I let it go, so as not to appear uptight or cause discomfort to others, but it makes me uncomfortable. Just like ‘chairman’ or ‘workman’.

Who actually benefits are the minority of people who don’t see themselves as ‘she/her’ but you or others might assume they do and refer to them at work in that way. It prevents them having to explain over and over. All this must be in the training you’ve received and you still don’t agree. Your choice. But it must be tough working for an employer if you don’t share their values.

I don’t think age is the main factor in this, as lots of older people embrace using clarifying pronouns. It’s more resistance to change due to ideology. When I first started in the workplace, there were people who were resistant to me receiving equal pay when I did the same job as men (as they were the ‘main breadwinners’); to calling me ‘Ms’ rather than ‘Miss’; and people who couldn’t understand why I objected to sexualised dress codes or men’s ‘wandering hands’ and other sexual harassment. Because ‘most people’ didn’t mind and it was just the way things were. I’ve had to fight to be treated with respect and fairness. Most people of that ilk have retired now.

This! This is what I did, leaving at 56, but I also had the backup of 2 years' redundancy pay and could take my occupational pension at 60.

You need to look very, very carefully at the finances though - being skint would be far worse than fed up with work.

A new business usually takes at least 6 months to start bringing in any sort of income.

YANBU. The thought of potentially another 21 years of work just makes me feel exhausted. I'm turning 50 soon and can't believe there's so much working life still ahead of me. Well, unless I die first obvs.

Also this. My parents have been in decline since 68, now pretty much immobile. Go nowhere, do nothing

I am in this age group and contemplating re starting work. What a mess this country is in.

I mean, I remember in my 20s and people complained those in their 50s and 60s were just coasting and slacking and were told it was ageism.
As you can see in this thread (and my own experience now I'm 50) it's reality.
I don't have the energy or the give-a-shit attitude I had when younger.
That's why it's harder for people in their 50s to get jobs, but we're told it's ageism.
EDIT: on the other hand I've worked with people still going into their 70s and they are as enthusiastic as ever.

@EdithBond why would I want to draw attention to the fact that I am female when it has been shown that women are taken less seriously? Look up the case where a male colleague took over his female colleagues email account for a week and was astounded at the difference in reactions.

i have one of those unisex names, and have been mis-sexed over email many times. I don’t care, I’m trying to get a job done. I will treat every single one of my colleagues and clients with the same courtesy, dignity and respect. No one group is more “special” than the other.

Yes - just go in, do what you are paid to do (which won’t include being enthusiastic) and go home. Don’t give them anything more - it is never appreciated in the end. we’re currently going through a restructure at work and my manager is losing his job. He’s been in the post ten years but has probably given them a couple more in terms of all the unpaid hours he’s done evenings and weekends. He doesn’t seem to have a life outside of work as is so keen to do a fantastic job. I feel sorry for him now, tossed to the side without any thanks. What a waste of time
Can you go part time?

Absolutely 💯 👏👏👏👏

I'm 54 and for me it's partly been an existential/spiritual change of mindset. I saw my DM and FIL die recently, and thought what's it all about, really? It sure as shit isn't corporate twattery and team building nonsense.
To be honest, though, I was quite eye-rolly about such things in my 20s too..

I was also losing my job because of a restructure and that was a huge factor in deciding to rake the voluntary early exit package at 58. Another factor was that menopause hit like a train mentally from the age of fifty!

Smile and nod. They are young and full of passion for their chosen career. Much as you probably were once. Let them have their time!
But ultimately smile and nod and enjoy knowing you can do your job with your eyes closed.
Enjoy these years and don’t wish them away either.

Not bothered by anyone claiming to be a woman or non binary to access female spaces, but bothered by the plural of guy which by definition means a group of people regardless of sex.

I'm not dissing this, it seems like a great idea for many. But my hobbies wont generate income, I have no other interests in anything that possibly could generate income.
I've changed jobs, I'm school adjacent now with all the holidays that brings. I do love this job but it's part time and not the greatest money. It's enough but I'll be waiting til state pension age to retire as theres not much left to sock away for early retirement.

Nothing really floats my boat. I just want to quit working altogether. Like many it seems.

I am also wondering if menopause starts way way earlier than we realise. Given my symptoms started in my mid 30s, but it never occurred to me it could be menopause. In fact I wasn't diagnosed til mid 40s. I'm not sure that drs will even look for menopausal symptoms before about the age of 45. But all my symptoms went away with the first tranche of HRT. They came back pretty soon, but then I changed brand and then that brand was no longer available and on and on until finally at 53 my periods stopped and most but not all symptoms left me.

My mum died just before she retired. She was looking forward to having free time and doing lots of things. My dad is 88 and is super fit, a sportsman, but I noticed that after 80 he didn’t want to go anywhere outside his town. He wants to live in a bubble and just go about his day.

To me, after 80, you can’t do much whether that’s poor health, or it’s just too much of a faff to go on planes and travel. That leaves 67-80, just over 10 years to do stuff. I also notice my late 70’s/ early 80’s healthy PIL can’t do things that involve lots of mobility.

So, f*ck that. I’m not waiting till late 60’s to retire. I work p/t now and I do my hobbies. I’m not working till I drop. I’ll keep it up as long as I can. If I get past retirement age and can still work, I’ll stay, if it suits me.

Know your rights as you age. Some of my colleagues are 70’s and my company is always having chats with them encouraging them to leave, and they stubbornly tell them to get stuffed. Good for them! Some of my other colleagues around retirement age took voluntary redundancy and got a massive wad after being there decades.

Do your job, and do it well, but know your rights. Don’t be bullied by ageist companies, know your policies, make notes of anything they say to you. Cover your own back, and make sure your employment is protected. You don’t owe them anything.