Creepy Asda delivery driver

[Rizzla]

Hi all, I had an Asda delivery driver last week that made me feel really uncomfortable.

I was home alone with my baby. From the moment I opened the door he was commenting on my looks, asking what I did for a living, asking if I was “a glamour model” ?! and then when I looked visibly uncomfortable he said “I’ll stop chatting you up now”. I felt really vulnerable and i also feel it was premeditated because I at the time I looked extremely scruffy and looked awful so he obviously wasn’t moved to say these things based on my looks. I don’t know if that makes sense.

anyway, DH told me to complain to Asda which I did. They said they’d pass it on to the store but they can’t guarantee that driver won’t be sent to my house again.

this is the worst outcome, I now wish I hadn’t complained because if he does come back to my house he’ll know I did and it will be even worse. I basically can’t order from Asda again now.

also as a side note I hate how as women we are so wired to protect ourselves against men that during the whole interaction I was just laughing nervously to try and get through it without upsetting him. AIBU to expect more from Asda’s response?

What did you want from their response?

I’m sorry you had this experience OP, I can totally understand how disappointed you are about the response. I wouldn’t want him near the house again either?

I’m sorry, that sounds so awful! Okay at least I know what to expect.

I’d switch supermarkets.

The minute he made you feel uncomfortable was the time go say, "It's very unprofessional of you to make personal remarks. Please just deliver my shopping as arranged.'

So many women are not assertive, it's no wonder some fools think their idiotic remarks are welcome.

You should keep escalating your complaint with Asda

You’re right, this is a problem for me, I can rarely say what I really mean in the moment. I’ll try to learn from it

I used to run a delivery warehouse for one of the big supermarkets - not ASDA - and would've (and did!) take this sort of complaint very seriously. Our drivers were DBS and we prided ourselves on decent customer service.

As a general rule of thumb as it's he said/she said we'd investigate a individual complaint - most of the time it would be no further action (hence why you might see this driver again). That being said a second complaint for similar behaviour we'd be looking at serious consequences and possibly removal from driving. If he's said creepy things to you, he's probably said similar to other people and it just takes a few complaints to prove a pattern of behaviour. You did the right thing x

Thanks so much. I did think he had probably done it before which is why I wrote in. Thank you

Also, they won't share an outcome with you regardless, so it's possible this is the 2nd/more complaint and they do take action. I had a driver who's contract we terminated due to similar, and I couldn't tell the customer involved ANY of it, despite constant calls/requests. Frustrating but obviously necessary for GDPR and legal reasons!

Why is the onus on women to be assertive? OP was home alone with a baby and a strange man was pushing her boundaries and making her uncomfortable, why would she risk making him angry? The only person to blame here is the driver and Asda's response isn't good enough, I'd take the complaint further OP.

I had this twice with Sainsbury's. Two different delivery drivers about three years apart. First one was completely inappropriate making comments and I was scars in my own house. Sainsbury's said they would investigate and then said he no longer works for them.
Second time I felt too embarrassed to complain again but he turned up with six bottles of wine to apologise for a substitution error made by the store. it was really awkward and he tried to invite himself in. I had to be really firm and practically shout the door in his face. I dreaded the deliveries and so swapped to Tesco.

So many women are not assertive, it's no wonder some fools think their idiotic remarks are welcome

Nice bit of victim blaming there. Why should it be on the OP to tell someone to stop being a pervert

These situations are difficult, because even if it's happened to you before, it's still so shocking that a person would act like this

It's horrible

If in doubt keep asking them to repeat what they just said as you didn't catch it. And keep repeating. "No. No. I really didn't hear you" If they end up shouting "are you a glamour model" they'll just look ridiculous and hopefully less intimidating

Or just grunt and say "oh sorry, wasn't listening. Bye then"

I’m wondering if it was Tesco because my husband and I always comment that they’ve managed to recruit the most competent and lovely people in our town. They’re all so helpful and polite.

Victim blaming?! 🙄

Women of my generation were taught that if a dog jumps up at you, you say loudly, "Down boy!", you don't let it jump all over you!

It is victim blaming, you're essentially saying it's OPs fault for not being assertive.

Suggest you check out the violence against women statistics and then give your head a wobble.

Another vote for escalating your complaint, you didn’t deserve to feel unsafe in your own home. Nor does the next customer he decides to chat up.

But that is because a dog is not a human and can't be expected to behave appropriately.

Last I checked, that doesn't apply to men.

Then you will presumably be of the generation that lived with the fact that until 1992 it was perfectly legal for a man to rape his wife?

Things change - attitudes change. The OP has done nothing wrong.

The fault lies with the man. and the man alone.

Not everyone can come up with the ‘perfect’ response at the time. And who knows how he might have reacted to an ‘assertive’ comment anyway. With violence? A return visit?

This is entirety on that sleaze of a driver.

Definitely complain, as per PP's, more complaints add up and something can be done - if people say nothing, then of course nothing will change.

FWIW it does sound like this is not the first time (or even second or third!)... I'd be very surprised if there weren't previous complaints about him.

Because women of your generation, presumably were never attacked, raped or sexually harassed, I presume??

Sorry you dealt with this. I have to say this does worry me about online deliveries but so far everyone who has come to the house has been fine, either chatty in a friendly way, helpful, neutral or even a little standoffish none of which bother me, but it is a worry being in a physically vulnerable position bending down to pack bags at night with the door open. It’s sad this is something we have to worry about. In your position I’d change to another supermarket if possible.