Creepy Asda delivery driver

[Rizzla]

Hi all, I had an Asda delivery driver last week that made me feel really uncomfortable.

I was home alone with my baby. From the moment I opened the door he was commenting on my looks, asking what I did for a living, asking if I was “a glamour model” ?! and then when I looked visibly uncomfortable he said “I’ll stop chatting you up now”. I felt really vulnerable and i also feel it was premeditated because I at the time I looked extremely scruffy and looked awful so he obviously wasn’t moved to say these things based on my looks. I don’t know if that makes sense.

anyway, DH told me to complain to Asda which I did. They said they’d pass it on to the store but they can’t guarantee that driver won’t be sent to my house again.

this is the worst outcome, I now wish I hadn’t complained because if he does come back to my house he’ll know I did and it will be even worse. I basically can’t order from Asda again now.

also as a side note I hate how as women we are so wired to protect ourselves against men that during the whole interaction I was just laughing nervously to try and get through it without upsetting him. AIBU to expect more from Asda’s response?

Is it worth calling Asda back and asking when this drivers in your area so you can book a different slot?
It's totally unacceptable by the way & you're absolutely not unreasonable. He sounds like a horrible perv.

Wow. Victim blaming much?

Women shouldn't have to be 'assertive' about this shit, we shouldn't have to face it at all.

Personally I would have been more confrontational to someone who spoke to me like that, but I completely understand and empathise with those who do not.

I don’t order from Asda any more due to a driver who was odd and over familiar the first time he delivered to my house, and the second time he came to my address was arguing with me about what I had said my job was the first time .

@Hyperbowl
An apology. A recognition that this behaviour is completely unacceptable and that it’s not behaviour that is considered in line with their company practices/policies. Assurances that every care will be taken to ensure that their drivers receive proper training and so it doesn’t happen again? Just a few ideas for you there. I thought as much would be obvious to anyone really but evidently not. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yeah, customer services will have said all that....obvious really

Yes absolutely agree with the other poster you are victim blaming! Roll your eyes as much as you like.

She said it happened and was reported last week so it’s not a huge leap to think that just maybe someone from the customer complaints department got back to her with a response not necessarily just your bog standard customer service agent. I didn’t say that they did, did I? 🙄 Just that they should. Don’t forget my comment was in response to “what response were you looking for” or words to that effect. I don’t think it’s too much to think it deserves at least a half decent apology is it? Obvious really.

It dosent hurt though to have a few phrases ready though to put people in their place. Of course the men shouldn't though.

If you need to use asda again can your husband take the delivery?

Yes he suggested this too. So will do this if it’s coming on a day when my husband is home. If not will use Tesco I think.

Women used to get this a lot in the past. I used to cut through it by ignoring any dodgy remarks and saying eg would you pass me that bag? Or, I'll leave you to it and put the baby down Leave it by the door, please.

What an unpleasant incident, that man was completely out of order.
Maybe ASDA really will have a word from him and maybe he'll be too embarrassed to behave like that again towards you or anyone else. It's not impossible.
If you prefer ASDA to the alternatives in your area, you might want to take the risk of seeing this man again. I'd suggest that you answer the door ready to be brisk and businesslike and primed to put your foot down the moment anything dodgy happens. Have something on the tip of your tongue and practice it first, and don't engage with any 'flattery' or chat up lines. Eg 'Please wait by the gate while I unpack the crates. I've asked you to leave my house; do I need to ring the police? Thank you. You can collect the crates now. Goodbye.'

Is this in Berkshire @Rizzla ?

I stopped getting Asda deliveries in 2019 because the same guy used to deliver every time. He would make incredibly inappropriate comments to me, usually about how he puts the trays down so "you ladies have to bend down to get them" with a wink (eugh) and then the final straw was he commented on my arse.
I was so angry and upset. I told him in no uncertain terms I was married and did not appreciate his unprofessional behaviour. At that point he got annoyed, called me a humourless bitch and said I was frigid.

I contacted Asda who gave me the same brush off. So next delivery he turns up, tells me he knows I complained and that I should get a sense of humour. Half my order was missing and a wine bottle had been smashed.
I had to threaten Asda that I would go to the police and I got a goodwill voucher but stopped shopping there because I was just so miffed that they didn't care about customers safety.

Moved into the home I’m in now just before Christmas a few years back and ordered all new everything for the festive season.
Was waiting for the tree to be delivered and unpacked all my new decs.
The delivery driver was about 25, looked like a boy band member.
I am stood there in old pyjamas in my 50’s covered in bits of glitter.
He seemed friendly enough and I made a joke about being glad when the job was finished.
10 minutes later I got a WhatsApp…
Send me a pic of you and your free bet you will both look cuter!
He had taken my number from the delivery notes.
I was freaked out and replied… why have you sent me this?
He replied… just been friendly thought you’d like a compliment.
Blocked him. Told the delivery company. They said he would be severely reprimanded and I’d never have to see him again.
It really affected me ever since I won’t talk to anyone who delivers anything. He’s nor back on the same round, and has been for four years.
If he sees my partner he’s pleasant and polite but I can’t look at him.

I had a creepy driver once too. I switched to tescos!

I would find the email address of all tbe Denton management team and email them about it.

How often do dogs rape or stalk women?
Do you let your husband shit against a tree in the back garden or wear a muzzle when he goes for a walk?

Feel like this should be fucking obvious but dogs aren't men....

Denton?

I can totally feel you. I had a very uncomfortable experience earlier today. I had hangers (underwear) in the living room. The guy delivered the stuff and kept looking at the hangers, which makes me very uncomfortable. I will switch to other supermarket

Fight/flight/freeze/appease. Responses when faced with scary situations. We don't choose them - they are automatic.

Change supermarkets. They should be able to guarantee he doesn’t deliver to you in future.
I use Ocado who, as well as being generally excellent, send a text before delivery with the name of the driver so I could refuse an order if this had happened with one of their drivers.
Ignore the victim blaming from a previous poster. It’s all very well saying what the perfect response would be but many people, myself included, are often too shocked to respond how we might have liked when someone else behaves badly.

I think your being a bit harsh on yourself here. Yes in an ideal world it would be great if you could have said that. However the reason you didn't is because you were afraid. You were home alone with your baby and the male was likely bigger and stronger. This will have made you feel like it's better to get him out the house easier and not cause an argument. I would swap supermarkets but keep on at Asda to do something !

I know what you’re trying to say but the power balance lies with men. Women are scared to be directly assertive when they’re in a vulnerable position because they have no recourse if the man reacts badly.

It’s therefore entirely up to men not to act inappropriately in the first place and their company - in this case Asda - should be concerned if drivers are making female customers anxious and uncomfortable.

OP if it helps, last year I had an unpleasant encounter with a Deliveroo delivery driver. When I opened my door to receive the order, he walked over the door threshold into my kitchen and went to hug me and attempt to kiss me on the cheek before he left. Like you, I nervously let it all happen and then gently pushed him out the door, afraid of any negative reaction. I was so upset.

It was highly inappropriate and I weighed up whether to report it because like you I was so worried he knew where lived. Anyway, I decided to report it to the police who were amazing. Turns out he had done this to four other women in the area over the last month (some worse than what happened to me) and they all reported it to the police. Because of all our reports, the man was arrested. It didn’t go to trial unfortunately but he was fired from Deliveroo and moved out the county and had a heavy warning from the police (was working here illegally also).

Found out after how rife it is for these delivery companies not to do basic checks on their drivers. Anyone can just rent out their account to someone else who would be anyone.

Very glad I reported it. Please don’t be afraid.

I hope you reported creepy driver to Asda.

Why resurrect an old thread just to make an irrelevant comment which shows that you haven't even read the thread?