Being dry at night toilet training... should I force it?

[Winniethepig]

I have a 4.5 year old who is still not dry at night, she is soaking wet with wee in nappies even though we cut her liquids at dinner and make her wee before bed. We have tried taking nappies away a few times and she gets very distressed when she wakes wet. When we have tried its also led to day time regressions.

We go back to nappies, and she's happy.

Our GP said all kids run on different timelines and if she is still having issues after 5 to come back, but my mother in law is being very opinionated about it and is saying I'm holding her back and now DH has taken all the nappies away.

I'm really not sure if we should just persevere or if I should wait until her nappies feel dry in the morning. I obviously am sick of wet bedding and nappies but I don't want her stressed out at night.

Would love any advice x

I would believe so. 5 of us (50s - late 60s) 2 dry around 3, 1 at 8, 1 at 9 and 1 at 11. My kids (40cm h) - one at 3 and 1 at 7.

She will be dry in her own time. Use the night nappies. All your husband is doing is making her anxious and worried.

+1 to say you absolutely can train once a child is 4yrs old.

We used the Oh Crap! Method (basically waking them and putting them on the loo 1-2 times a night).

With my oldest boy we did it when he was 4 before school. He was still waking up every morning with a soaked nappy.

For a week I’d be changing the sheets at least once each night, but after a week it suddenly clicked with his body and he lasted through to the morning.

For my youngest he was 3 and was leaving a dry nappy about once every 3 days. He was much quicker with fewer accidents on the way.

So it’s definitely possible for at least some children o are not going dry through the night IF that is what you choose to do.

Have a 6.5 year old and seeing GP this week about it as he is starting to get fed up of wearing a nappy at night. Assume it is hormonal and so not worried about him at all. We tried a couple of times in the same way as with other DC who was dry at night from age 4 and had the occasional dry night but mostly it wasn't working so we haven't been too worried about it. School nurse gave us the ERIC info and their website was useful. Stick with the nappies.

Also ERIC says waking them at night doesn't actually help

Yes waking them at night is not recommended by doctors. (Also, I am done with being up in the night with kids and will not go back to it).
one of mine was dry at night young, the other very old (9). But then the hormone kicked in and they were dry overnight and never had a wet night again. Don’t let anyone pressure or shame your daughter.

+1 same experience. Never had a dry nappy in the morning, or a night wake for toilet but put potty near the bed and over time the bed wettings dropped.

The savings on nappies is significant! Remember to double up on bed sheet and mattress protector so a night time change is easier.

There really needs to be more information about the reality of the need for actual sufficient levels of hormones to be dry at night. It drives me crazy.

Training comes in when they are, for example, waking up and choosing to wee in their nappy. DS was like this - he'd half wake up around the time he would ge tup but choose to just wee in his nappy. But when they wee at night because they just don't have any control and are sleeping, there's very little you can do.

Don't restrict fluids. Take her to wee before bed and put her in pull-ups at night. Once she's consistently dry then you can try without them. My nibbling was still in pull-ups at 7. My kids stopped around 3. It's not something they can control.

My son was older and it all worked out in the end. We took him to the GP and once we determined there was nothing physical or psychological we just waited and told him pull ups come in size 7-11 for a reason! Tiny bladders run in the family. The pull ups were good for his dignity because nothing woke him. We all stayed calm and it stopped, literally overnight at 10.

My ds was in pull ups until he was 13. Went through all the help, advice and medication with the enuresis clinic and nothing worked.
My daughter was day and night trained at 2.
Nothing I did influenced either end of the spectrum.

IT might help you to hear that we had Brownies (aged 7-10) on sleepovers who weren't dry at night. They mostly used pullups. In many cases their friends knew and didn't bat an eyelid. Where it was more "secret", they were discretely helped by an adult with disposal etc.

Honestly, listen to the doctor and not your MIL!! Just leave her in pull ups for now and take the pressure off her and yourself. It's not a big deal, some kids just take a bit longer to physically develop bladder control at night.