Grown man posting too many selfies

[Animatic]

I have recently met a man who seems quite intelligent and is good looking, very close to "full package". The only thing that makes me cringe is his habit of posting selfies on SM stories almost daily, sometimes even more than 1 a day. Normally it would be smth like photo of his face with a note saying "otw to get my coffee" or similar. The man in question is over 40 yrs old so definitely far from a 21 yrs old wannabe influencer.

AIBU thinking this is too cringe and a red flag in terms of trying to date ,etc?

I’d personally find it deeply unattractive - others may not be bothered. Up to the individual I suppose - what’s your gut feeling ?

YANBU. Sounds like he really fancies himself.

cringe and attention seeking

I'm sorry, whenever I see the phrase "the full package" being used in relation to a man, I can't help but crease up with laughter.
SORRY - I'm "only" 20.

I'd think he's posting selfies and wouldn't think much of it. You don't have to date anyone you don't want to.

I'd cringe myself inside out and wouldn't date him.

Not sure what you mean by 'red flag' though?

We like/dislike all sorts of things and it's up to make our own decisions around that.

Why do you care? It’s not harming anyone is it - maybe a bit egotistical but it feels like you’re looking for problems.

I don't see the problem with it. You are allowed to like yourself and show it, even when you're over 40. I take selfies when I go anywhere fancy or show off a sewing project and share with friends who, I like to imagine, like me and don't mind seeing my face.

I find it odd tbh, but then I do not like posting my face "just because", and definitely do not share much on instagram/fb.

Personally I find it cringeworthy from either sex, and think it often stems from insecurity from the people in my circle who post selfies regularly.

I've binned a few male Facebook friends over this.

Women too but I dins it even more heinous when men do it.

The last one would always be shirtless and he got upset when I posted 'You're looking hot'. He replied, 'Thank you' and I replied, 'I meant that you look hot, is your heating on too high as you've taken your shirt off.

He's 62!

Vain, attention seeking nonsense.

Red flag I.e. too in love with himself/egoistic, smth along that line.

It's not a "red flag" people overuse that term on here so it ends up losing its meaning. If you don't like it don't date him. You shouldn't have to source opinion on this really, it's a personal decision.

It's not a red flag, but it's cringe. It's attention seeking when anyone does this, not just a man.

Yes, definitely more of an ick than a red flag.

Do you know if he’s always done this? The men I know (very few, tbh) who have done this were recently single and putting themselves ‘out there’. Selfies dried up as soon as they were in a new relationship.

It’s very cringeworthy. I used to post stuff like this on social media up until my late twenties (🙈). I am absolutely mortified by it now at 40. So attention-seeking and vain. I couldn’t date someone my age that hadn’t grown out of it yet.

I met him a couple of month ago so for that time period selfie galore has been quite consistent. No sign of ex girlfriends and ex wives, and he himself doesn't give definite answers re when they dissapeared (if they existed at all).

@Animatic do you think he’s trying to impress you (and failing miserably)?

Could be trying to show you that he’s a’cool guy, getting coffee, hitting the gym’ 😄

I wondered this as well. Did he do it before he was dating you?

Otherwise it may indicate a level of self obsession or at least an obsession with social media, both of which could cause problems in a relationship further down the line if that’s what you mean by a red flag.

Not a red flag but it’s as cringey as fuck and I’d be off.

I met a guy last year and we swapped numbers. The next morning he sent me a selfie then another then another - me with coffee, me in work van, me at work - all before 9am.

And he was in his 50’s

Instant turn off 🤢

That’s a massive 🚩
I would avoid.

“and he himself doesn't give definite answers re when they dissapeared (if they existed at all).”

more 🚩🚩🚩

Agree it’s an ick but not necessarily a red flag. I always think people like this must be a bit lonely so maybe it would drop off if they got in a relationship.

It's not a massive red flag.
It's very off-putting but what exactly do you think redflags are?

Have you considered he might not have had past relationships?